Growing up LSD I was force fed these and made to memorize them so that I could have a "testimony" (forced belief) that the church was 'true' and that Joe Smith was really a prophet of god. I have been thinking about this recently and thought I would share the CORRECTED (Actually what they are) Articles of forced belief with you. The corrections are noted with an 'a'.
Keep in mind, this is MY interpretation, NOT someone Else's:
1 - We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
1a - We believe in a sky daddy with no proof of existence, that is abusive and forces us to give 10% of our money to the corporation.
2 - We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.
2a - We firmly hold to the belief that we will be punished for our own sins and not for Adam eating an apple with his hottie girlfriend Eve.
3 - We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.
3a- A hippy died so that we can be saved from a hell that doesn't exist and we MUST pay our 10% and memorize our secret handshakes in the 'temple club' to get into heaven.
4 - We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
4a- We believe that you must have a faith in a fairy tale, saying I'm sorry to sky daddy when we sin as well as telling our bishops all our dirty laundry for his amusement, dunking our children at 8 years old so that they are now forced members in this insanity and then that you need some old dude to tell you, that you NOW can know right from wrong because he blessed you so.
5 - We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
5a - We believe that even when the person who is called is molesting children and stealing from the members of the congregation that he was still called by 'god'. Even if this called person commits horrible acts, he was called by 'god'.
6 - We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
6a - Much like any corporation we have an organizational structure primarily for the perpetuation of our myths and the collection of funds to benefit the corporation as a whole with one exception: the shareholders (members) have no say in it.
7 - We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
7a - This is especially true with our child molesting leaders as they 'translate/interperet' their tongues on children often. Also, visions of no earrings and silly dress code rules are common.
8 - We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
8a - By 'translated correctly' we mean to benefit OUR dogma. The book of Mormon is the word of god if god was in Joe Smith's imagination. (see dead sea scrolls, urum and thummum etc.,)
9 - We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
9a - We believe that god takes the time to tell our members how to dress, what underwear to wear and when to scrub the toilets on Saturdays, because THAT is what god reveals.
10 - We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisaical glory.
10a - We have NO understanding of geography, science or archeology. We simply believe these fantastical things because Joe Smith said so.
11 - We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
11a - We made up our own religion so Nyaaa, nyaa!
12 - We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
12a - Entertaining especially as it relates to polygamy and Brigham Young's attempt to secede from the Union.
13 - We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul-We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
13a - This is great, except Joe Smith DIDN'T follow this one! Chasing after other guys wives, ordering 'hits' on presidential candidates etc., I guess doing good to all men is only valid if those men are either believers or beneficial to the corporations cause.
I hope you found this entertaining, I did.
Showing posts with label arrogance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arrogance. Show all posts
Friday, January 18, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
The "Blind Lizard" argument
I know, it's been a while since I have posted anything. It's been a VERY busy couple months with moving suddenly (the house I was renting had black mold), having hernia surgery for the 3rd time and the holidays. I will say I made it through all of it without thinking I should pray to anyone or anything even once! I would like to take a second though and thank the good doctors and nurses at IMC for their care and professionalism. They were great!
Last Saturday as my son and I were getting ready to go to the archery range and loose some arrows at a few very deserving paper targets, we received a visit from an evangelical whackadoo. I am not sure what faith he was promoting specifically as he didn't identify himself with any organized group. He was an older man and had a young african american boy with him in tow. When I answered the door, he immediately asks me without introducing himself if "I would like to discuss god with him"?
Now, I very rarely turn down a good debate and would normally have invited he and his little buddy in for a spirited debate on religion and the existence of a supreme being. Since I was getting ready to go, (bow in hand) I wasn't really in the mood for a long discussion with him and politely said "No, thanks. I'm not a believer and this would be a waste of your time."
He stood there for less than 2 seconds and started into a tirade regarding creation and evolution. I am not sure why he went there, I didn't mention anything of the sort to him. I politely responded that there isn't a creator and that evolution proves itself, all he would need to do is examine any animal or for that matter human being and he could see evolution in action.
This is when he got weird on me: He looked at me and said "what about blind lizards?" then went on to explain how a blind lizard would die if god didn't give it eyes. I told him that there are plenty of blind animals and other life forms on the planet that do just fine. He insisted that if god didn't give blind animals eyes they would all die. At that point I knew I was dealing with a crackpot and realized that there was going to be no simple end to this conversation so I stood there mute for about three minutes as he rambled on about blind animals and gods link to them. He asked me if that made me think that there could be a god, I simply said no it makes me think you don't know what you are talking about.
He then says "well we have stuff to do" and turned and walked away.
Has anyone else dealt with this before? I have no idea where he was going with the blind lizard argument. If it was to convice me of a creator it didn't work, it only convinced me that he was an idiot that had no idea what he was talking about.
It's good to be back. I will make sure to post more to keep you all entertained.
Last Saturday as my son and I were getting ready to go to the archery range and loose some arrows at a few very deserving paper targets, we received a visit from an evangelical whackadoo. I am not sure what faith he was promoting specifically as he didn't identify himself with any organized group. He was an older man and had a young african american boy with him in tow. When I answered the door, he immediately asks me without introducing himself if "I would like to discuss god with him"?
Now, I very rarely turn down a good debate and would normally have invited he and his little buddy in for a spirited debate on religion and the existence of a supreme being. Since I was getting ready to go, (bow in hand) I wasn't really in the mood for a long discussion with him and politely said "No, thanks. I'm not a believer and this would be a waste of your time."
He stood there for less than 2 seconds and started into a tirade regarding creation and evolution. I am not sure why he went there, I didn't mention anything of the sort to him. I politely responded that there isn't a creator and that evolution proves itself, all he would need to do is examine any animal or for that matter human being and he could see evolution in action.
This is when he got weird on me: He looked at me and said "what about blind lizards?" then went on to explain how a blind lizard would die if god didn't give it eyes. I told him that there are plenty of blind animals and other life forms on the planet that do just fine. He insisted that if god didn't give blind animals eyes they would all die. At that point I knew I was dealing with a crackpot and realized that there was going to be no simple end to this conversation so I stood there mute for about three minutes as he rambled on about blind animals and gods link to them. He asked me if that made me think that there could be a god, I simply said no it makes me think you don't know what you are talking about.
He then says "well we have stuff to do" and turned and walked away.
Has anyone else dealt with this before? I have no idea where he was going with the blind lizard argument. If it was to convice me of a creator it didn't work, it only convinced me that he was an idiot that had no idea what he was talking about.
It's good to be back. I will make sure to post more to keep you all entertained.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
How to tell if your religion is bad? 5 signs!
According to Shayne Looper of the GateHouse News Service, there are 5 signs that your religion may be bad. I am going to take it a bit further and say 5 signs that ALL religion is bad.
1 - It makes people servants of an ideology rather than of the common good or their fellow man. These are people that value the differences in their belief structure more than they value their friends, family or fellow man. Every religion suffers from this malady.
2 - Religion makes people unhappy. Religion promises joy and happiness BUT ONLY after ALL other preconditions are met.
3 - Religion is founded on excluding others. Religion in any form is an alienating force, it pushes non-believers away and believers together, alienating anyone with differing beliefs from the group. The leaders of religions spend a large amount of their time speaking almost happily of others failures and how wrong other groups are for believing in their own way.
4 - Religion uses the Us/Them rhetoric to justify classifying non-believers as "the enemy". A prime example is "the war on religion". There isn't a war on religion, just folks trying to not be force-fed some superstitious beliefs that we ALL know are garbage.
5 - Religion is compassionless. Religion is self-centered. It is all about finding self-fulfillment, rather than truth. Being right rather than being fair and gaining success instead of offering kindness. This leaves little to no room for compassion.
I am not sure exactly how people continue to stay in groups that encourage this behavior. As a parent I always tried to teach my son to be compassionate, caring and kind to others. This is WHY I didn't indoctrinate him with religion.
I find the superiority complex that many religious folks have offensive and abusive. My own nephew goes out of his way to tell all the 'non-member' (not LDS) cousins in the family how "It must suck to not be Mormon." His arrogance is appalling. I have brought it up to his parents to no avail. It's just sad. On a bright note, my son did kick his butt for it once, that was good times.
1 - It makes people servants of an ideology rather than of the common good or their fellow man. These are people that value the differences in their belief structure more than they value their friends, family or fellow man. Every religion suffers from this malady.
2 - Religion makes people unhappy. Religion promises joy and happiness BUT ONLY after ALL other preconditions are met.
3 - Religion is founded on excluding others. Religion in any form is an alienating force, it pushes non-believers away and believers together, alienating anyone with differing beliefs from the group. The leaders of religions spend a large amount of their time speaking almost happily of others failures and how wrong other groups are for believing in their own way.
4 - Religion uses the Us/Them rhetoric to justify classifying non-believers as "the enemy". A prime example is "the war on religion". There isn't a war on religion, just folks trying to not be force-fed some superstitious beliefs that we ALL know are garbage.
5 - Religion is compassionless. Religion is self-centered. It is all about finding self-fulfillment, rather than truth. Being right rather than being fair and gaining success instead of offering kindness. This leaves little to no room for compassion.
I am not sure exactly how people continue to stay in groups that encourage this behavior. As a parent I always tried to teach my son to be compassionate, caring and kind to others. This is WHY I didn't indoctrinate him with religion.
I find the superiority complex that many religious folks have offensive and abusive. My own nephew goes out of his way to tell all the 'non-member' (not LDS) cousins in the family how "It must suck to not be Mormon." His arrogance is appalling. I have brought it up to his parents to no avail. It's just sad. On a bright note, my son did kick his butt for it once, that was good times.
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