Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are very aware that Dusseldorf Airport is an International Airport direct from America. The reason that our courier is flying into Berlin is that he/she is coming to Germany via the UK and then Amsterdam as they have other deliveries/duties as well as yours.
It seems odd that you would worry about how far the courier has to drive to deliver to your designated "Criminal Compensation Agent", as the courier was instructed to deliver directly to your agent.
There has been a change in the delivery schedule that I must inform you of as well. Due to the recent changes to security procedures throughout the world after the recent terrorist activity, and also due to the large amount of currency that is being delivered to your agent we have had to use a US Diplomatic courier to effect the transport of the funds to your agent. Because of this change in security measures, the agent will not be personally delivering the currency to your agent. Your agent will have to collect the currency from the US Mission in Dusseldorf. I have been informed that the funds will be at the US Mission awaiting your agents retrieval no later than Monday morning.
Your agent will need the following information and documents in order to retrieve the delivery.
NAME: Ms. Andrea Beck
HER INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT: For ID verification
THE CASE NUMBER: 06098419004194
A Letter from you stating that she is your agent and is able to collect the Criminal Compensation due you. I have included the letter for you as well: ______________________________________________________________
Attn: U.S. Consul General George Knowles
My name is Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada,
I am authorizing Ms. Andrea Beck of Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany to collect my Criminal Compensation, that I have most honestly earned and with all honesty and integrity believe that I deserve. I have through my efforts with the Church of the Assimilated Virgin been able to have them disburse to me a sum of $48,400 US Dollars.
The case number is: 06098419004194. I would like to receive exactly what is coming to me via my agent Ms. Andrea Beck. Ms. Beck also is here with all necessary identification to prove her identity and to prove that she is duly able to be Criminally Compensated on my behalf. I have been less than dishonest in all of my transactions with The Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as the head investigator of the Criminal Compensation Division of the Springfield Police Department, Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum.
Please compensate myself and my agent as we deserve.
Thank you,
SIGN YOUR NAME HERE
Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
____________________________________________________________________
I am glad we were able to assist you in getting your Criminal Compensation, and I am sure that you are happy that our business has been concluded. If there are any questions or problems you may have, please let me know.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Gee I wonder what she will say now? I mean the money is in Germany right?
So she goes whining to Tits, and of course I ignore her for a few days
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
How areyou today? Why are you keeping me quite?Sir, don't you think that youare supposed to be directing me on what to do as a new member? You leftme all alone. I have done everything i was asked to do and still yeti don't know when the funds will be delivered to my agent. I lookforward to your urgent reply. Thank you and God bless usall. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
you know her crap would be easier to understand if she could type and format a damn email better than this! but like a good elder I respond
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I was not aware that you needed guidance. I and the elders here at The Church of the Assimilated Virgin assumed that once this was resolved for you, you would contact us for direction and we would go from there. I do recall asking you when you would like the missionaries to arrive in your area to begin the building of the "Great Phallus".
I understand that your vage is wet and waiting for the Church to give you all the direction you need in your life. If you remember from your membership agreement, have you been offering your corn hole to all men in need of one?
Have you been worshipping the Great Phallus daily? On your knees in penetance and servitude to the Great Phallus and its spray of glory from the hole in which it is placed?
Have you sung the praises to everyone you meet of the great glory hole?
Are you spreading the cheeks of those that have not heard the word of the Great Phallus and inserted the truth into their lives?
If you are doing these things, you are already doing everything that we ask of our members. If you are not, then you have now received your direction from me at this time. You are going to be a great member of our faith, I am sure you will spread the cheeks of many a new member and will offer your corn hole to all men in need of a warm corn hole.
As to the funds you asked about, Chief Wiggum has informed me that the money has been taken by courier as his head auditor informed you. It is simply a matter of your agent collecting the funds on Monday.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now, back to Apu and the conversation going on that end
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Since you have decided not to talk to me, well there is no problem. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Not sure what she means here, but then again it's not like english is her strong suit as you have already seen.
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Not sure what you mean. I have sent you the necessary information to complete this case.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
I also send ANOTHER copy of the email with the letter for the Consul General in Dusseldorf. I can't wait for the hilarity to ensue. She doesn't even flinch at "picking up the funds"
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that i am very much happy.Once again thank you very much.
Please kindly me the address of the US mission and the name of the person my agent is going to meet on monday. Finally, this US Mission,is that a church?
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, of course I oblige her and send the info right?
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
The address is: Willi - Becker - Allee 10 40227 Düsseldorf. The person you will need to speak with is: U.S. Consul General George Knowles.
You will need to bring the signed copy of the letter I sent to you in order for them to verify that your agent is the person to pick up your funds. As well as her International passport and other documents as directed. I am sure that the people at the US Mission will be very happy to see your agent and to give her exactly what is coming to her and yourself.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Then as myself, I send another email to someone who should know what is happening, namely the US Embassy.
Hello,
My name is [censored], I am a US citizen living in [censored location].
I am not sure who to contact about this, but I have been receiving email from a person posing as Dr. Louisa Pimentel Estrada of the Philippines. She has asked me to send her $48,400 to rescue monies that have been held “hostage” in Germany. I know that this is a scam, and have sent her to the Embassy in Düsseldorf to collect the funds. If you would like since she is committing a major crime here, for me to send you copies of all the email transactions with her, I would be happy to do so. I would venture a guess that I am not the first person she has contacted regarding this scam. I think this would be a perfect opportunity for the US to capture and prosecute one of these scammers. I have sent a letter to her that she will be bringing to the Embassy demanding the funds; essentially it is a confession of her crime as well.
Please let me know if this is possible. You can also contact me by telephone at 999-999-9999 as well.
Thanks,
[censored]
[censored email address]
Gee whiz I hope she is gonna be ok
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 9
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
In order to deliver what is yours, we needed an address to deliver to and you have provided that to us. That is appreciated, if you did read fully the previous email where the instructions were laid out to you, I do believe it was very clear that your agent would also have to provide a form of identification to us as well. Failure to comply with policies will only delay your criminal compensation even further. I am sure this is a simple task to have your agent email a scan copy of their international passport or some other Govt. issued identification.
Once we have received this information from your agent the funds will be immediately dispatched to the address listed by bonded courier. The address is: Name: Andre Beck. Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany, Correct? Again the amount that you are requesting be disbursed to you is: $48,400.00 US correct? Would you like that in any specific denomination or will 20's be ok? I am sure you will appreciate the need we have for security and safety when we are dealing with a persons hard earned criminal compensation. It is all in your best interests that we have such policies in place.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to voice them, and I am sure they will be addressed in the timely manner which you deserve. I am looking forward to concluding this case of criminal compensation A.S.A.P. You will be getting exactly what you deserve.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Well I should say more fun for me, and less for her.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that you are correct with all the information. Based on your question,i would like to have the funds in 100 denomination.of course you would honey, and non-sequential as well right?.Please kindly effect the dispatch and send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once you effect the dispatch..Got bad news hon, there will be no airway bill as it will be coming "bonded courier"
Attached here is the scan copy of the international passport of my agent for your perusal..And OBVIOUSLY fake as well.. I didn't attach it due to lost hard drives again....
Looking foward to receiving the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
so I don't answer her, since I don't really feel a need to and besides it's more fun this way...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Good Morning.I belive i have met up with your demands.Please tell me, when are you going to effect the dispatch?Kindly let me know. Finally, do not forget to send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once the dispatch is effected.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Let's see how long she will go without me answering her...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want to know when funds will be dispatched. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
looks like she is getting a bit impatient..
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please kindly let me know what is going on. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, now I suppose I should answer her
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I am in receipt of the identification provided. We are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination you have requested. Your funds will be delivered to Ms. Andrea Beck Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany. It will be delivered to her via bonded courier sent directly from Springfield OH. There is no airway bill as the courier given the nature of the delivery will be flying incognito.
Ms. Beck will of course have to provide her identification to the courier when he/she arrives to deliver the funds to her. The courier will be flying into Berlin within 72 hours, if you would like to send directions to Ms. Beck's address that would be helpful as well. We do want to conclude this business and give you exactly what you have coming to you.
Thank you for your compliance and honesty in regards to this situation. I am sure that once this transaction is concluded I will never have to deal with you again.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hmm I wonder what will happen next?
So I waited a couple days and boy did she get imaptient
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail. i a m very much happy hearing that you are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination i have requested. Please i want to ask you of one favour,when is Ms. Andrea Beck is expecting to receive the package on thursday or on friday? since it is 72hrs.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well I don't think I will answer her yet
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Sir,
I write to inform you that there was a mistake in the address.The correct address is: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY and not DUISBERG (wrong spelling) Please when is the person arriving Germany.mind you that Berlin is not their International Airport.
Finally, how does this bonded courier operates without air way bill? I have never had of this system since i was born. Any way let me see and belive.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Is she eager to get her cash or what??
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want know why the courier would be flying into Berlin from American which is their local AirPort. I want you to know that the nearest Airport to Duisburg is DUSSELDORF AIRPORT and is an International Airport direct from U.S.A. I also want to let you know based on the information given to me my agent that Berlin is too far, because from BERLIN TO DUISBURG is about 650 KM and from Dusseldorf to Duisburg is about 25 KM.
Please kindly give me the name of the person, his/her telephone number so that i can forward it to my agent immediately.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
hehe, now she must be getting nervous, she is worried about how far the courier will have to drive to get the funds to her..Still no answer from me
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please, what is the Situation of thing over there? I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well, I suppose I should answer her now. I think I will throw another "monkey wrench" into her plans, what do you think?
Ref: 06098419004194
In order to deliver what is yours, we needed an address to deliver to and you have provided that to us. That is appreciated, if you did read fully the previous email where the instructions were laid out to you, I do believe it was very clear that your agent would also have to provide a form of identification to us as well. Failure to comply with policies will only delay your criminal compensation even further. I am sure this is a simple task to have your agent email a scan copy of their international passport or some other Govt. issued identification.
Once we have received this information from your agent the funds will be immediately dispatched to the address listed by bonded courier. The address is: Name: Andre Beck. Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany, Correct? Again the amount that you are requesting be disbursed to you is: $48,400.00 US correct? Would you like that in any specific denomination or will 20's be ok? I am sure you will appreciate the need we have for security and safety when we are dealing with a persons hard earned criminal compensation. It is all in your best interests that we have such policies in place.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to voice them, and I am sure they will be addressed in the timely manner which you deserve. I am looking forward to concluding this case of criminal compensation A.S.A.P. You will be getting exactly what you deserve.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Well I should say more fun for me, and less for her.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that you are correct with all the information. Based on your question,i would like to have the funds in 100 denomination.of course you would honey, and non-sequential as well right?.Please kindly effect the dispatch and send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once you effect the dispatch..Got bad news hon, there will be no airway bill as it will be coming "bonded courier"
Attached here is the scan copy of the international passport of my agent for your perusal..And OBVIOUSLY fake as well.. I didn't attach it due to lost hard drives again....
Looking foward to receiving the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
so I don't answer her, since I don't really feel a need to and besides it's more fun this way...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Good Morning.I belive i have met up with your demands.Please tell me, when are you going to effect the dispatch?Kindly let me know. Finally, do not forget to send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once the dispatch is effected.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Let's see how long she will go without me answering her...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want to know when funds will be dispatched. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
looks like she is getting a bit impatient..
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please kindly let me know what is going on. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, now I suppose I should answer her
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I am in receipt of the identification provided. We are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination you have requested. Your funds will be delivered to Ms. Andrea Beck Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany. It will be delivered to her via bonded courier sent directly from Springfield OH. There is no airway bill as the courier given the nature of the delivery will be flying incognito.
Ms. Beck will of course have to provide her identification to the courier when he/she arrives to deliver the funds to her. The courier will be flying into Berlin within 72 hours, if you would like to send directions to Ms. Beck's address that would be helpful as well. We do want to conclude this business and give you exactly what you have coming to you.
Thank you for your compliance and honesty in regards to this situation. I am sure that once this transaction is concluded I will never have to deal with you again.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hmm I wonder what will happen next?
So I waited a couple days and boy did she get imaptient
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail. i a m very much happy hearing that you are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination i have requested. Please i want to ask you of one favour,when is Ms. Andrea Beck is expecting to receive the package on thursday or on friday? since it is 72hrs.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well I don't think I will answer her yet
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Sir,
I write to inform you that there was a mistake in the address.The correct address is: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY and not DUISBERG (wrong spelling) Please when is the person arriving Germany.mind you that Berlin is not their International Airport.
Finally, how does this bonded courier operates without air way bill? I have never had of this system since i was born. Any way let me see and belive.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Is she eager to get her cash or what??
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want know why the courier would be flying into Berlin from American which is their local AirPort. I want you to know that the nearest Airport to Duisburg is DUSSELDORF AIRPORT and is an International Airport direct from U.S.A. I also want to let you know based on the information given to me my agent that Berlin is too far, because from BERLIN TO DUISBURG is about 650 KM and from Dusseldorf to Duisburg is about 25 KM.
Please kindly give me the name of the person, his/her telephone number so that i can forward it to my agent immediately.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
hehe, now she must be getting nervous, she is worried about how far the courier will have to drive to get the funds to her..Still no answer from me
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please, what is the Situation of thing over there? I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well, I suppose I should answer her now. I think I will throw another "monkey wrench" into her plans, what do you think?
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Religious views in Public Education?
In Cape Town South Africa a Science teacher was forced to QUIT his job after being reprimanded for teaching evolution.
Let me repeat that:
In Cape Town South Africa a Science teacher was forced to QUIT his job after being reprimanded for teaching evolution.
No, that wasn't a typo. You can read the story here.
This is just rediculous. Seriously?!? Teaching evolution, natural selection is a bad thing? What, we should only be educating our children in the ways of the force? What the hell is happening?
I suppose it makes more sense to teach our children that an all powerful, magical being that has NO beginning snapped his fingers and created a diverse world full of amazing creatures that EVOLVE and ADAPT over time (this has been PROVEN) and then this magical, omnipotent being makes sure to deny that evolution is possible. Plants dinosaur bones to confuse and confound the people of the planet in question and has crazy people write a violent poorly written book with conflicting information and instructions to follow which should you choose to follow it will have you sent to "hell" no matter what you do since there is no way to truly win.
That is much better than evolution and natural selection right?
Wow. All I can say is Wow.
I am happier now more than ever that I am an Atheist and can see the truth of things.
Let me repeat that:
In Cape Town South Africa a Science teacher was forced to QUIT his job after being reprimanded for teaching evolution.
No, that wasn't a typo. You can read the story here.
This is just rediculous. Seriously?!? Teaching evolution, natural selection is a bad thing? What, we should only be educating our children in the ways of the force? What the hell is happening?
I suppose it makes more sense to teach our children that an all powerful, magical being that has NO beginning snapped his fingers and created a diverse world full of amazing creatures that EVOLVE and ADAPT over time (this has been PROVEN) and then this magical, omnipotent being makes sure to deny that evolution is possible. Plants dinosaur bones to confuse and confound the people of the planet in question and has crazy people write a violent poorly written book with conflicting information and instructions to follow which should you choose to follow it will have you sent to "hell" no matter what you do since there is no way to truly win.
That is much better than evolution and natural selection right?
Wow. All I can say is Wow.
I am happier now more than ever that I am an Atheist and can see the truth of things.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Freedom of religion is ALSO freedom FROM religion
The Republicans and yes, even some Democrats are supporting the Catholic Bishops in fighting the health care reform that mandates that birth control be covered by health care plans. Their justification for this? You guessed it, the First Amendment!
It's funny isn't it?
They cry Religious freedom then try to shove their beliefs down everyone's throats REGARDLESS of the rest of the populations convictions? So the Catholic Church owns a hospital. Is EVERY employee of that hospital Catholic? I doubt it, since it would be ridiculous to say "If you aren't Catholic, you can't work here." So why should the insurance offered by the hospital to it's employees be exempt from offering birth control coverage? They shouldn't. The only justification for it? Their own arrogance.
These idiots need a dose of humility and logic. They need to understand that the First Amendment not ONLY covers their Freedom to Practice their religion, but it ALSO protects everyone else from being FORCED to practice their religion as well. You see people, the sword cuts both ways.
Politicians and religion are both idiots cut from the same cloth. Rick Santorum is an idiot of the highest caliber. Any one that believes in magical always existing beings that can snap their fingers and make worlds appear and then plant old bones in the ground to "confuse" their believers is an idiot!
Pray to Santa, the Easter Bunny or anyone else. It's all the same...
Let's keep America and the world free from Religious Idoicy.
Keep it logical.
It's funny isn't it?
They cry Religious freedom then try to shove their beliefs down everyone's throats REGARDLESS of the rest of the populations convictions? So the Catholic Church owns a hospital. Is EVERY employee of that hospital Catholic? I doubt it, since it would be ridiculous to say "If you aren't Catholic, you can't work here." So why should the insurance offered by the hospital to it's employees be exempt from offering birth control coverage? They shouldn't. The only justification for it? Their own arrogance.
These idiots need a dose of humility and logic. They need to understand that the First Amendment not ONLY covers their Freedom to Practice their religion, but it ALSO protects everyone else from being FORCED to practice their religion as well. You see people, the sword cuts both ways.
Politicians and religion are both idiots cut from the same cloth. Rick Santorum is an idiot of the highest caliber. Any one that believes in magical always existing beings that can snap their fingers and make worlds appear and then plant old bones in the ground to "confuse" their believers is an idiot!
Pray to Santa, the Easter Bunny or anyone else. It's all the same...
Let's keep America and the world free from Religious Idoicy.
Keep it logical.
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 8
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i write to know if you have transferred the funds into my account.If so, kindly send me the Receipt of the Payment Slip via e-mail attachment.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
At the same time she emails Tits Mchgee to find out if he will help her out.
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How are you and the church? Sir, i write to let you know that i have completed and done everything i was asked to do.They saidthey would released the funds to me under 24 to 48 hrs but i have notheard anything from them since last week friday. Could you pleasehelp me find out if they have transfereed the funds into the account imandated them to use. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So Tits Mcghee has to answer and allay her fears right? OH and add some more bait to the game just to keep her going.
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I have spoken to the head auditor, and he informed me that he sent you an email informing you of how to proceed with your case. I pray to the great phallus that all will work out for you and that you will be able to build the Church of the Assimilated Virgin to great heights in the Phillipines.
Once you have received the funds, please let me know so that I may make arrangements for the shipment of cellular phones, computers and various electronic devices to assist you in building the church in your area. I would also like to know so that we can arrange for the travel of missionaries to your area as well.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now Apu has to respond just to keep her going, and of course to throw a monkey wrench into her plans as well..Read on intrepid fans and you will see what I mean
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We have received your request of expedition. Your claim is being processed as quickly as possible. Your funds will be delivered to the address you provided by bonded courier, if the funds cannot be delivered to #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines. You will need to specify another address to which they will be delivered. Unfortunately, we are bound by policy and are unable to wire transfer the funds as we are required by policy and law to physically deliver the funds to you or an agent that you specify.
If you wish to specify another agent to collect the funds, you will need to have them provide their identification and an address where the funds can be delivered to them. Your only other option would be to have the funds delivered to the US Embassy in the Philippines where you would be able to collect them directly from the Embassy.
Please forward the information as to how you would like to proceed.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Now I am SURE this will give her fits! I wonder if she will just call the jig up or what she will do?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i demanded that you should send the funds into the account number i have given to you.Please the only option i have apart from wire transfer is to transfer the funds to my agents in europe via westerner union money transfer apart from this no any other options would be acceptable by me ok.
Please try to contact Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder) he will tell you much why i have refused anyother options apart from the options i have given.
Finally, Please kindly transfer the funds into the account i have given you. I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Oh oh oh, NOW she is demanding something from the Police? How brave considering that she holds no weight with the department
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Your last communication strikes me as not completely honest. Generally when we process claims such as yours, the individuals are more than happy to have the funds delivered to themselves or a designated agent.
In order to process your claim further, you will have to comply to our procedure. Police Department policy is that we only disburse funds in the manner previously given to you. We cannot issue the funds to you via wire transfer as that does not comply with department policy and procedures.
If you wish to claim the funds that you stated are due you, you will immediately inform myself and the department which option would best suit you. Speaking to HPE Tits Mcghee will do nothing as I cannot deviate from department policy. Inform me of where you would like the funds delivered and they will be immediately disbursed to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Better and better, hmmmm I can't wait to see if she decides to give me what I want...
Mr Attn:TitsMcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i wishto notify you that you should please help me tell them that they shouldwire the funds in the account number i gave them.It will be easier forme to collect the funds.You know what my family and i are facing and iwouldn't any body in my country to know that i have some business doingiut side.Below is the mail the sent to them and my reply tothem.
She then attached a copy of the email that Apu sent to her and then she again begged for help from Tits. There wont' be any or a response for that matter but she can certainly beg eh?
Please help me talk to this people i have doneeverything they asked me to do and this time arounf they have to adhearto my directives.Let them know that they are making things too hard forme.
Jeezus the whining is getting out of hand now aint it?? It took her about 3 days, but she finally got back to me with the information I knew she would. And what do you know? Her new friend that will be picking up the funds in now in Germany!
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
I am very sorry that i have not be able to reach you since all these while.I have been on the sick bed for some days now SUUURE YOU ARE!.Please kindly forgive me if i have done something wrong.The only thing you did wrong was try to steal from me!.
Please find below is the name and the address of my agent in germany who will receive the funds on my behalf.
NAME : ANDREA BECK
ADDRESS: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY
Please kindly deliver that which belongs to me Oh, honey you will get what's coming to you I PROMISE! via the above given name and address and send the air waybill /tracking number once you effect the dispatch to me.
Have a very nice weekend.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Now Apu has to respond with some more fun and "hoops" for the idiot to jump through. Oh, it's been over a month now and she STILL hasn't been paid!! Gooooo ME!
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i write to know if you have transferred the funds into my account.If so, kindly send me the Receipt of the Payment Slip via e-mail attachment.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
At the same time she emails Tits Mchgee to find out if he will help her out.
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How are you and the church? Sir, i write to let you know that i have completed and done everything i was asked to do.They saidthey would released the funds to me under 24 to 48 hrs but i have notheard anything from them since last week friday. Could you pleasehelp me find out if they have transfereed the funds into the account imandated them to use. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So Tits Mcghee has to answer and allay her fears right? OH and add some more bait to the game just to keep her going.
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I have spoken to the head auditor, and he informed me that he sent you an email informing you of how to proceed with your case. I pray to the great phallus that all will work out for you and that you will be able to build the Church of the Assimilated Virgin to great heights in the Phillipines.
Once you have received the funds, please let me know so that I may make arrangements for the shipment of cellular phones, computers and various electronic devices to assist you in building the church in your area. I would also like to know so that we can arrange for the travel of missionaries to your area as well.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now Apu has to respond just to keep her going, and of course to throw a monkey wrench into her plans as well..Read on intrepid fans and you will see what I mean
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We have received your request of expedition. Your claim is being processed as quickly as possible. Your funds will be delivered to the address you provided by bonded courier, if the funds cannot be delivered to #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines. You will need to specify another address to which they will be delivered. Unfortunately, we are bound by policy and are unable to wire transfer the funds as we are required by policy and law to physically deliver the funds to you or an agent that you specify.
If you wish to specify another agent to collect the funds, you will need to have them provide their identification and an address where the funds can be delivered to them. Your only other option would be to have the funds delivered to the US Embassy in the Philippines where you would be able to collect them directly from the Embassy.
Please forward the information as to how you would like to proceed.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Now I am SURE this will give her fits! I wonder if she will just call the jig up or what she will do?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i demanded that you should send the funds into the account number i have given to you.Please the only option i have apart from wire transfer is to transfer the funds to my agents in europe via westerner union money transfer apart from this no any other options would be acceptable by me ok.
Please try to contact Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder) he will tell you much why i have refused anyother options apart from the options i have given.
Finally, Please kindly transfer the funds into the account i have given you. I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Oh oh oh, NOW she is demanding something from the Police? How brave considering that she holds no weight with the department
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Your last communication strikes me as not completely honest. Generally when we process claims such as yours, the individuals are more than happy to have the funds delivered to themselves or a designated agent.
In order to process your claim further, you will have to comply to our procedure. Police Department policy is that we only disburse funds in the manner previously given to you. We cannot issue the funds to you via wire transfer as that does not comply with department policy and procedures.
If you wish to claim the funds that you stated are due you, you will immediately inform myself and the department which option would best suit you. Speaking to HPE Tits Mcghee will do nothing as I cannot deviate from department policy. Inform me of where you would like the funds delivered and they will be immediately disbursed to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Better and better, hmmmm I can't wait to see if she decides to give me what I want...
Mr Attn:TitsMcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i wishto notify you that you should please help me tell them that they shouldwire the funds in the account number i gave them.It will be easier forme to collect the funds.You know what my family and i are facing and iwouldn't any body in my country to know that i have some business doingiut side.Below is the mail the sent to them and my reply tothem.
She then attached a copy of the email that Apu sent to her and then she again begged for help from Tits. There wont' be any or a response for that matter but she can certainly beg eh?
Please help me talk to this people i have doneeverything they asked me to do and this time arounf they have to adhearto my directives.Let them know that they are making things too hard forme.
Jeezus the whining is getting out of hand now aint it?? It took her about 3 days, but she finally got back to me with the information I knew she would. And what do you know? Her new friend that will be picking up the funds in now in Germany!
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
I am very sorry that i have not be able to reach you since all these while.I have been on the sick bed for some days now SUUURE YOU ARE!.Please kindly forgive me if i have done something wrong.The only thing you did wrong was try to steal from me!.
Please find below is the name and the address of my agent in germany who will receive the funds on my behalf.
NAME : ANDREA BECK
ADDRESS: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY
Please kindly deliver that which belongs to me Oh, honey you will get what's coming to you I PROMISE! via the above given name and address and send the air waybill /tracking number once you effect the dispatch to me.
Have a very nice weekend.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Now Apu has to respond with some more fun and "hoops" for the idiot to jump through. Oh, it's been over a month now and she STILL hasn't been paid!! Gooooo ME!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 7
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Thanksfor your kind help since all these while and i pray that God Almightwill bring a helper to you in the days of problems. you mean like you for example??
Please help meask him if there is anything i need to do again because i have not heardfrom him since i sent the attachment to him.
I look forward to yoururgent reply. Thank you and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And now back to the story with the good Dr. and Chief Wiggum
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -02-07-1932.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27-02-2006.
Nb: My son Jude made a mistake on my Date of Birth, which i have corrected.
Sir, i want to know if i can print it out to enable me sign my signature or is there anything i need to do.Please just let me know.
So the chief gets back to her..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Yes you need to print out the letter, fill it out and sign it, scan it and email the letter back to me.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Can she REALLY be that stupid??
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your kindly help and i pray that God Almight will surely send a helper to you in the day of problem.
Sir, find attached is the scam OOOH Sister, you have NO idea!! copy of your demands and i pray that i have passed the examination this time around and if not, please kindly let me know where i have failed so that i can quick correct it.
I look forward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And she did send me a copy of the paperwork, unfortunately I didn't attach it as it has been lost to an old hard drive..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have recieved your mail. Your information and claim are now being processed by our auditing department. This is standard procedure in all cases of criminal compensation.
The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan will be handling your case. He is a very competent Auditor and should be able to have your compensation ready for you in a very short amount of time. His job is simply to make sure that all is in order before the criminal compensation is sent to you.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
So the chief told her that she would be getting her funds right?
Attn: Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Thanks for your mail.As you have given me help in this matter,May the Almight God send a helper to you that will help you in the days of problems.
Infact, i really thank God for your life and all the efforts you have so far made to help. You will not see shame in your life, The arrows of the evil one will never know you and your family,God will forever protect your going out and your coming in.Untimely death will never be your portion.You will never burial your children but your children will be the one to burial you at your old age in Jesus Name Amen.Once again thank you very much for all efforts you have made so far.
Finally, i shall be contacting him soonest.But please, you could tell me what i will write to him please so that i will not make any mistake.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
I don't respond. Why should the Chief have to talk to her anymore?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Jumping the gun a bit aren't we? You haven't even jumped through all the hoops yet honey
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Ohh, now she's really getting impatient. Well, I guess it's time for Apu to make his appearance
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are processing your claim as quickly as possible. We do have policies and procedures in place to handle these sorts of things. As far as sending payment advice, that is not necessary as we always use either a bonded courier to deliver the funds directly to you or a designated individual, or you come to our offices and pick up the money in person. That would be why your address was necessary, we need someplace to have the funds delivered to.
If you would like to expedite the processing of your claim and get your funds released faster, you can submit the following request to our department, and it can be taken into consideration. I have attached a copy of the letter below. If you wish to do this you would need to print, and fill out the form and then send it back to me. Once this is done, generally we can release the funds to you within 24 to 48 hours.
_____________________________________________________________________
To: Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Agent Nahasapimapetilan,
Sir, my name is____________________________. I am writing you to request a hardship expediting of my Criminal Compensation. I am in dire need of the funds which have been wrongfully kept from my honest and decent person. I am suffering from Tribble Infections/Opressive Government/Cornholeitis/ Phallic Envy. I request that the sum of $________________. Be released to me A.S.A.P. or, as soon as the Springfield Police Department (Criminal Compensation Division) feel the need to compensate me for my Criminal Action.
I ___________________________, Do swear that I have been 100% honest in all my dealings with the SPDCCD, and that I will use the funds which are righfully mine for the purpose of which they were initially intended.
I, __________________________, Understand that I am solely responsible for all costs incurred by SPDCCD in the delivery and transfer of said Compensation to me, and that I will recompense the department for all expenses incurred.
Once, the Compensation has been disbursed to me, I understand that I will no longer place myself in a baiting situation, and if I do get myself baited again, I will make sure that I perform in much the same manner as I have this time. My honesty and integrity intact, I swear on all that is my cornhole that I will do my best to be the proudly compensated moron that I am able to be.
This letter is my statement of formal intention to have my case expedited, so that I can receive what is coming to me as quickly as possible. I am sure that I deserve everything that I will receive from this transaction. My compensation will be just as well as swift. Again, I am more than deserving of everything I am going to receive in this transaction.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
SIGN YOUR NAME
WRITE DATE HERE
____________________________________________________________________
Once I receive this letter from you, I would be able to expedite your case and get you everything you have coming to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hehehe, just another BS letter for her to sign and email back to me...
Like clockwork,she sends my back the letter dutifully signed and ready to go..
and of course she sends me another note with it.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Find attched is the returning form.
Please i will like my funds to be transferred into this account information below via Swift Transfer or by Telegraphic Transfer.
Bank of China New York.
Aba no:026003269.
Swift:BKCHUS33.
Cr.to.Swift code:BKCHCNBJ92D.
A/C No:875118267308091001.
A/c Name:ZHEJIANG JIANPEI TEXTILES CO.LTD.
Please let the funds be transferred into the above given account information and forward the receipt of the Payment Slip to me via e-mail attachment.
Looking forward to receiving the copy of the Payment Slip soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Now we ALL KNOW I won't be sending the money to THAT account
Sir,
Thanksfor your kind help since all these while and i pray that God Almightwill bring a helper to you in the days of problems. you mean like you for example??
Please help meask him if there is anything i need to do again because i have not heardfrom him since i sent the attachment to him.
I look forward to yoururgent reply. Thank you and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And now back to the story with the good Dr. and Chief Wiggum
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -02-07-1932.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27-02-2006.
Nb: My son Jude made a mistake on my Date of Birth, which i have corrected.
Sir, i want to know if i can print it out to enable me sign my signature or is there anything i need to do.Please just let me know.
So the chief gets back to her..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Yes you need to print out the letter, fill it out and sign it, scan it and email the letter back to me.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Can she REALLY be that stupid??
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your kindly help and i pray that God Almight will surely send a helper to you in the day of problem.
Sir, find attached is the scam OOOH Sister, you have NO idea!! copy of your demands and i pray that i have passed the examination this time around and if not, please kindly let me know where i have failed so that i can quick correct it.
I look forward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And she did send me a copy of the paperwork, unfortunately I didn't attach it as it has been lost to an old hard drive..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have recieved your mail. Your information and claim are now being processed by our auditing department. This is standard procedure in all cases of criminal compensation.
The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan will be handling your case. He is a very competent Auditor and should be able to have your compensation ready for you in a very short amount of time. His job is simply to make sure that all is in order before the criminal compensation is sent to you.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
So the chief told her that she would be getting her funds right?
Attn: Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Thanks for your mail.As you have given me help in this matter,May the Almight God send a helper to you that will help you in the days of problems.
Infact, i really thank God for your life and all the efforts you have so far made to help. You will not see shame in your life, The arrows of the evil one will never know you and your family,God will forever protect your going out and your coming in.Untimely death will never be your portion.You will never burial your children but your children will be the one to burial you at your old age in Jesus Name Amen.Once again thank you very much for all efforts you have made so far.
Finally, i shall be contacting him soonest.But please, you could tell me what i will write to him please so that i will not make any mistake.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
I don't respond. Why should the Chief have to talk to her anymore?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Jumping the gun a bit aren't we? You haven't even jumped through all the hoops yet honey
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Ohh, now she's really getting impatient. Well, I guess it's time for Apu to make his appearance
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are processing your claim as quickly as possible. We do have policies and procedures in place to handle these sorts of things. As far as sending payment advice, that is not necessary as we always use either a bonded courier to deliver the funds directly to you or a designated individual, or you come to our offices and pick up the money in person. That would be why your address was necessary, we need someplace to have the funds delivered to.
If you would like to expedite the processing of your claim and get your funds released faster, you can submit the following request to our department, and it can be taken into consideration. I have attached a copy of the letter below. If you wish to do this you would need to print, and fill out the form and then send it back to me. Once this is done, generally we can release the funds to you within 24 to 48 hours.
_____________________________________________________________________
To: Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Agent Nahasapimapetilan,
Sir, my name is____________________________. I am writing you to request a hardship expediting of my Criminal Compensation. I am in dire need of the funds which have been wrongfully kept from my honest and decent person. I am suffering from Tribble Infections/Opressive Government/Cornholeitis/ Phallic Envy. I request that the sum of $________________. Be released to me A.S.A.P. or, as soon as the Springfield Police Department (Criminal Compensation Division) feel the need to compensate me for my Criminal Action.
I ___________________________, Do swear that I have been 100% honest in all my dealings with the SPDCCD, and that I will use the funds which are righfully mine for the purpose of which they were initially intended.
I, __________________________, Understand that I am solely responsible for all costs incurred by SPDCCD in the delivery and transfer of said Compensation to me, and that I will recompense the department for all expenses incurred.
Once, the Compensation has been disbursed to me, I understand that I will no longer place myself in a baiting situation, and if I do get myself baited again, I will make sure that I perform in much the same manner as I have this time. My honesty and integrity intact, I swear on all that is my cornhole that I will do my best to be the proudly compensated moron that I am able to be.
This letter is my statement of formal intention to have my case expedited, so that I can receive what is coming to me as quickly as possible. I am sure that I deserve everything that I will receive from this transaction. My compensation will be just as well as swift. Again, I am more than deserving of everything I am going to receive in this transaction.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
SIGN YOUR NAME
WRITE DATE HERE
____________________________________________________________________
Once I receive this letter from you, I would be able to expedite your case and get you everything you have coming to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hehehe, just another BS letter for her to sign and email back to me...
Like clockwork,she sends my back the letter dutifully signed and ready to go..
and of course she sends me another note with it.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Find attched is the returning form.
Please i will like my funds to be transferred into this account information below via Swift Transfer or by Telegraphic Transfer.
Bank of China New York.
Aba no:026003269.
Swift:BKCHUS33.
Cr.to.Swift code:BKCHCNBJ92D.
A/C No:875118267308091001.
A/c Name:ZHEJIANG JIANPEI TEXTILES CO.LTD.
Please let the funds be transferred into the above given account information and forward the receipt of the Payment Slip to me via e-mail attachment.
Looking forward to receiving the copy of the Payment Slip soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Now we ALL KNOW I won't be sending the money to THAT account
Saturday, March 3, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 6
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have received your email, but you have not met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you to sign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also, we will need a physical address not just your city and country. Without this information, I would not be able to process your claim.
I have spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are able to be a bit more lenient on information such as a phone number or passport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get all the way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter for you to return to me once again, please get it right this time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your name
Your address (Full address)
Your telephone number (not required)
Date of birth
Today's date.
SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police Criminal Compensation Department
Dear Mr. Wiggum,
C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194
This letter is to certify that I am the above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400.
Please find attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to the donation payment due to me.
Sincerely,
SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter)
Date: WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date)
_____________________________________________________
I am sure this will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that we will be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have not completed all the required paperwork and information, your case will be closed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimed as yours.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Hehe, give her a deadline and see if she will capitulate to me.
Now she runs whining to Tits Mcghee thinking that will change things...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High
PhallicElder) Sir, Please this man Chief Wiggum is making things
to hard for meto bear. Yea I am SURE he is...Below is the mail he sent to
me. .......................................................DearMrs. Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I am in receipt of your emaildated February 24, 2006. As you may have been informed, we arecurrently
investigating a person who has previously had contact withyou, namely one Mr. Gaylord Fagg. Mr. Fagg is currently incarcerated inour custody on preliminary charges of money laundering, theft, identitytheft, and
suspicion of passing around the Tribble virus with intent to infect people. My division is in charge of Criminal Compensations and Investigations and we authorise intermediate payments to victimsof
crime. I understand on reading your case notes that yourentitlement
is US $58,400. Of course you will understand that beforeI can authorise such a payment you will be required to send me proof ofyour identification to ensure that this payment is sent to theentitled
person, so please would you forward me a scan of your international passport and a signed letter with thefollowing statement: ----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------- Your name Your address Your telephone
number Date ofbirth Today's date. SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum-
SpringfieldPolice Criminal Compensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is tocertify that I am the above named person and I am entitled
to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of
theAssimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US
$58,400. Please find attached a copy of my official identification
which Iconfirm is a true representation of me. I confirm that during thecourse of my communication with all members of The Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has beentruthful
and factually correct and that if any false information hasbeen given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to thedonation payment due to me. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME Date:WRITE THE
DATE Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPD CriminalCompensation Department. Find below is my reply to him. ....................................................... Attn:ChiefCharlie Wiggum Sir FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194. Below are the information Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. Address: Manila- Philippine My phone number-Not
available Date ofBirth -2nd july,1961. Dear Mr. Wiggum. Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194. This letter isto
certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000Plus
Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can startthe church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area. Please find belowthe attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is atrue
representation of me. I confirm that during the course ofmy communication with all members of the Church of the AssimilatedVirgin that all information i have given has been truthful andfactually
correct and that if any false information has been given inany form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation paymentdue to me. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada Date:27th
Feb,2006.. Find below his mail to me this morning. ....................................................... Mrs.
Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I have received your email, but you havenot met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you tosign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also,
we willneed a physical address not just your city and country. Without thisinformation, I would not be able to process your claim. Ihave spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are ableto be a
bit more lenient on information such as a phone number orpassport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get allthe way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter foryou to return
to me once again, please get it right this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Your name Your address (Full address) Yourtelephone number (not required) Date of birth Today's date. SPD: Chief
Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police CriminalCompensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. ReferenceNumber: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is to certify that I amthe above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment,authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the AssimilatedVirgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400. Pleasefind attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is atrue representation of me. I confirm that during the course of mycommunication with all
members of The Church of the Assimilated Virginthat all information I have given has been truthful and factuallycorrect and that if any false information has been given in any form Ishall immediately lose all
entitlement to the donation payment due tome. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter) Date:WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date) _____________________________________________________ I am surethis will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that wewill be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have notcompleted all the required paperwork and information, your case will beclosed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimedas yours. Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPDCriminal Compensation Department ....................................................... Please TitsMcghee(High Elder) what do you advise that i should do now? comply with what he wants STUPID!!!Please i amgetting tried of everything and with the way things are going now, aresome information that i don't need give out for security
reason becausei don't know who spy or not. Please advise and help me talk tochief Charlie Wiggum. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs louisaPimentelEstrada.
So the HPE has to respond, and respond he does...
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estroda,
I do not understand what else I can do for you.I have asked Chief Wiggum to be more lenient and he told me that he was willing to forgo the need for a phone number and a copy of your passport given your current dire situation. He is simply asking that you give him an address and a signed letter, so that he may proceed with disbursing the funds that are yours.
As to the question of whether or not you can trust Chief Wiggum, he is an altar servicer in the Church, and has been an upstanding member of the Church for more than 10 years now.If you feel you cannot trust a member of the Church, I am not sure how we would be able to help you further. I would instruct you to simply comply with the requirements of the Police Department so that you can complete this as soon as humanly possible.
I am sure that you understand, but it is very disturbing to hear that you would accuse amember of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin of duplicity or of being a spy. If you remember in Article 1 of your membership agreement, you agreed to obey the instructions of the Church Leadership. I have already instructed you to simply comply with Chief Wiggum and all would be taken care of. If you cannot do that, I am afraid I cannot help you further. I am not able to change Police Department policy, Chief Wiggum may be a member of the Church, but I cannot interfere with the way he performs his duties.
My suggestion to you would be to work as faithfully and honestly as you can with him,and I am sure that you will get satisfaction and wet as well. You have already proven to be a great and baited member of the Church and I would hate for you not to get your just desserts. I am eagerly waiting to see the outcome of this in a way that will be enlightening and good for all honest parties concerned.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
TitsMcghee
High Phallic Elder
I wonder, will she take it to heart?
Ref: 06098419004194
I have received your email, but you have not met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you to sign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also, we will need a physical address not just your city and country. Without this information, I would not be able to process your claim.
I have spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are able to be a bit more lenient on information such as a phone number or passport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get all the way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter for you to return to me once again, please get it right this time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your name
Your address (Full address)
Your telephone number (not required)
Date of birth
Today's date.
SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police Criminal Compensation Department
Dear Mr. Wiggum,
C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194
This letter is to certify that I am the above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400.
Please find attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to the donation payment due to me.
Sincerely,
SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter)
Date: WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date)
_____________________________________________________
I am sure this will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that we will be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have not completed all the required paperwork and information, your case will be closed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimed as yours.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Hehe, give her a deadline and see if she will capitulate to me.
Now she runs whining to Tits Mcghee thinking that will change things...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High
PhallicElder) Sir, Please this man Chief Wiggum is making things
to hard for meto bear. Yea I am SURE he is...Below is the mail he sent to
me. .......................................................DearMrs. Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I am in receipt of your emaildated February 24, 2006. As you may have been informed, we arecurrently
investigating a person who has previously had contact withyou, namely one Mr. Gaylord Fagg. Mr. Fagg is currently incarcerated inour custody on preliminary charges of money laundering, theft, identitytheft, and
suspicion of passing around the Tribble virus with intent to infect people. My division is in charge of Criminal Compensations and Investigations and we authorise intermediate payments to victimsof
crime. I understand on reading your case notes that yourentitlement
is US $58,400. Of course you will understand that beforeI can authorise such a payment you will be required to send me proof ofyour identification to ensure that this payment is sent to theentitled
person, so please would you forward me a scan of your international passport and a signed letter with thefollowing statement: ----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------- Your name Your address Your telephone
number Date ofbirth Today's date. SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum-
SpringfieldPolice Criminal Compensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is tocertify that I am the above named person and I am entitled
to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of
theAssimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US
$58,400. Please find attached a copy of my official identification
which Iconfirm is a true representation of me. I confirm that during thecourse of my communication with all members of The Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has beentruthful
and factually correct and that if any false information hasbeen given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to thedonation payment due to me. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME Date:WRITE THE
DATE Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPD CriminalCompensation Department. Find below is my reply to him. ....................................................... Attn:ChiefCharlie Wiggum Sir FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194. Below are the information Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. Address: Manila- Philippine My phone number-Not
available Date ofBirth -2nd july,1961. Dear Mr. Wiggum. Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194. This letter isto
certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000Plus
Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can startthe church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area. Please find belowthe attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is atrue
representation of me. I confirm that during the course ofmy communication with all members of the Church of the AssimilatedVirgin that all information i have given has been truthful andfactually
correct and that if any false information has been given inany form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation paymentdue to me. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada Date:27th
Feb,2006.. Find below his mail to me this morning. ....................................................... Mrs.
Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I have received your email, but you havenot met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you tosign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also,
we willneed a physical address not just your city and country. Without thisinformation, I would not be able to process your claim. Ihave spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are ableto be a
bit more lenient on information such as a phone number orpassport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get allthe way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter foryou to return
to me once again, please get it right this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Your name Your address (Full address) Yourtelephone number (not required) Date of birth Today's date. SPD: Chief
Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police CriminalCompensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. ReferenceNumber: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is to certify that I amthe above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment,authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the AssimilatedVirgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400. Pleasefind attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is atrue representation of me. I confirm that during the course of mycommunication with all
members of The Church of the Assimilated Virginthat all information I have given has been truthful and factuallycorrect and that if any false information has been given in any form Ishall immediately lose all
entitlement to the donation payment due tome. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter) Date:WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date) _____________________________________________________ I am surethis will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that wewill be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have notcompleted all the required paperwork and information, your case will beclosed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimedas yours. Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPDCriminal Compensation Department ....................................................... Please TitsMcghee(High Elder) what do you advise that i should do now? comply with what he wants STUPID!!!Please i amgetting tried of everything and with the way things are going now, aresome information that i don't need give out for security
reason becausei don't know who spy or not. Please advise and help me talk tochief Charlie Wiggum. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs louisaPimentelEstrada.
So the HPE has to respond, and respond he does...
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estroda,
I do not understand what else I can do for you.I have asked Chief Wiggum to be more lenient and he told me that he was willing to forgo the need for a phone number and a copy of your passport given your current dire situation. He is simply asking that you give him an address and a signed letter, so that he may proceed with disbursing the funds that are yours.
As to the question of whether or not you can trust Chief Wiggum, he is an altar servicer in the Church, and has been an upstanding member of the Church for more than 10 years now.If you feel you cannot trust a member of the Church, I am not sure how we would be able to help you further. I would instruct you to simply comply with the requirements of the Police Department so that you can complete this as soon as humanly possible.
I am sure that you understand, but it is very disturbing to hear that you would accuse amember of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin of duplicity or of being a spy. If you remember in Article 1 of your membership agreement, you agreed to obey the instructions of the Church Leadership. I have already instructed you to simply comply with Chief Wiggum and all would be taken care of. If you cannot do that, I am afraid I cannot help you further. I am not able to change Police Department policy, Chief Wiggum may be a member of the Church, but I cannot interfere with the way he performs his duties.
My suggestion to you would be to work as faithfully and honestly as you can with him,and I am sure that you will get satisfaction and wet as well. You have already proven to be a great and baited member of the Church and I would hate for you not to get your just desserts. I am eagerly waiting to see the outcome of this in a way that will be enlightening and good for all honest parties concerned.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
TitsMcghee
High Phallic Elder
I wonder, will she take it to heart?
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