Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have received your email, but you have not met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you to sign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also, we will need a physical address not just your city and country. Without this information, I would not be able to process your claim.
I have spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are able to be a bit more lenient on information such as a phone number or passport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get all the way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter for you to return to me once again, please get it right this time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your name
Your address (Full address)
Your telephone number (not required)
Date of birth
Today's date.
SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police Criminal Compensation Department
Dear Mr. Wiggum,
C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194
This letter is to certify that I am the above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400.
Please find attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to the donation payment due to me.
Sincerely,
SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter)
Date: WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date)
_____________________________________________________
I am sure this will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that we will be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have not completed all the required paperwork and information, your case will be closed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimed as yours.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Hehe, give her a deadline and see if she will capitulate to me.
Now she runs whining to Tits Mcghee thinking that will change things...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High
PhallicElder) Sir, Please this man Chief Wiggum is making things
to hard for meto bear. Yea I am SURE he is...Below is the mail he sent to
me. .......................................................DearMrs. Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I am in receipt of your emaildated February 24, 2006. As you may have been informed, we arecurrently
investigating a person who has previously had contact withyou, namely one Mr. Gaylord Fagg. Mr. Fagg is currently incarcerated inour custody on preliminary charges of money laundering, theft, identitytheft, and
suspicion of passing around the Tribble virus with intent to infect people. My division is in charge of Criminal Compensations and Investigations and we authorise intermediate payments to victimsof
crime. I understand on reading your case notes that yourentitlement
is US $58,400. Of course you will understand that beforeI can authorise such a payment you will be required to send me proof ofyour identification to ensure that this payment is sent to theentitled
person, so please would you forward me a scan of your international passport and a signed letter with thefollowing statement: ----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------- Your name Your address Your telephone
number Date ofbirth Today's date. SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum-
SpringfieldPolice Criminal Compensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is tocertify that I am the above named person and I am entitled
to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of
theAssimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US
$58,400. Please find attached a copy of my official identification
which Iconfirm is a true representation of me. I confirm that during thecourse of my communication with all members of The Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has beentruthful
and factually correct and that if any false information hasbeen given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to thedonation payment due to me. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME Date:WRITE THE
DATE Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPD CriminalCompensation Department. Find below is my reply to him. ....................................................... Attn:ChiefCharlie Wiggum Sir FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194. Below are the information Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. Address: Manila- Philippine My phone number-Not
available Date ofBirth -2nd july,1961. Dear Mr. Wiggum. Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194. This letter isto
certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000Plus
Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can startthe church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area. Please find belowthe attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is atrue
representation of me. I confirm that during the course ofmy communication with all members of the Church of the AssimilatedVirgin that all information i have given has been truthful andfactually
correct and that if any false information has been given inany form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation paymentdue to me. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada Date:27th
Feb,2006.. Find below his mail to me this morning. ....................................................... Mrs.
Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I have received your email, but you havenot met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you tosign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also,
we willneed a physical address not just your city and country. Without thisinformation, I would not be able to process your claim. Ihave spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are ableto be a
bit more lenient on information such as a phone number orpassport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get allthe way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter foryou to return
to me once again, please get it right this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Your name Your address (Full address) Yourtelephone number (not required) Date of birth Today's date. SPD: Chief
Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police CriminalCompensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. ReferenceNumber: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is to certify that I amthe above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment,authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the AssimilatedVirgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400. Pleasefind attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is atrue representation of me. I confirm that during the course of mycommunication with all
members of The Church of the Assimilated Virginthat all information I have given has been truthful and factuallycorrect and that if any false information has been given in any form Ishall immediately lose all
entitlement to the donation payment due tome. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter) Date:WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date) _____________________________________________________ I am surethis will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that wewill be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have notcompleted all the required paperwork and information, your case will beclosed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimedas yours. Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPDCriminal Compensation Department ....................................................... Please TitsMcghee(High Elder) what do you advise that i should do now? comply with what he wants STUPID!!!Please i amgetting tried of everything and with the way things are going now, aresome information that i don't need give out for security
reason becausei don't know who spy or not. Please advise and help me talk tochief Charlie Wiggum. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs louisaPimentelEstrada.
So the HPE has to respond, and respond he does...
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estroda,
I do not understand what else I can do for you.I have asked Chief Wiggum to be more lenient and he told me that he was willing to forgo the need for a phone number and a copy of your passport given your current dire situation. He is simply asking that you give him an address and a signed letter, so that he may proceed with disbursing the funds that are yours.
As to the question of whether or not you can trust Chief Wiggum, he is an altar servicer in the Church, and has been an upstanding member of the Church for more than 10 years now.If you feel you cannot trust a member of the Church, I am not sure how we would be able to help you further. I would instruct you to simply comply with the requirements of the Police Department so that you can complete this as soon as humanly possible.
I am sure that you understand, but it is very disturbing to hear that you would accuse amember of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin of duplicity or of being a spy. If you remember in Article 1 of your membership agreement, you agreed to obey the instructions of the Church Leadership. I have already instructed you to simply comply with Chief Wiggum and all would be taken care of. If you cannot do that, I am afraid I cannot help you further. I am not able to change Police Department policy, Chief Wiggum may be a member of the Church, but I cannot interfere with the way he performs his duties.
My suggestion to you would be to work as faithfully and honestly as you can with him,and I am sure that you will get satisfaction and wet as well. You have already proven to be a great and baited member of the Church and I would hate for you not to get your just desserts. I am eagerly waiting to see the outcome of this in a way that will be enlightening and good for all honest parties concerned.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
TitsMcghee
High Phallic Elder
I wonder, will she take it to heart?
Showing posts with label nigerian scam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nigerian scam. Show all posts
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 5
From: High Phallic Elder Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
Sister Estrada,
I am truly sorry to have been delayed in returning your emails regarding the disposition of your funds. I believe there is some explaining that needs to happen at this point. First of all, let me explain the history of this transaction as you may not be aware of everything that has occurred.
First, Acting Rev. Gaylord Fagg has been arrested and charged with 200 felony counts of theft and embezzlement. It seems that he was not sending the funds to all the needy people as he was tasked with doing, instead he was funnelling the money to a Cayman Island account in his name. This was discovered by the Church in part due to your emails and diligence in making sure that the monies were delivered to you as we had promised you.
I must apologize to you, we should have never allowed a person that was in our "Reform the Felons and Sex Offenders" program to handle such delicate and important transactions as yours. This I assure you has been corrected. In the future we will in the future have these sorts of transaction handled by our trustworthy and professional staff.
Because we have had to have Gaylord Fagg arrested and prosecuted, we had to recover all of the stolen funds from his accounts, in order to do this we had to turn over all fiduciary duties to the Springfield City Police Department. Specifically Chief Charlie Wiggum will be handling all cases of reimbursement and disbursement of funds to those with valid and verifiable claims to the funds. Currently we have approximately $12 million dollars that are awaiting disbursement.
What you will need to do is this: You will need to contact Chief Wiggum with the case number which is: 06098419004194. This will allow him to know that you at least have a valid claim to the funds that should be disbursed to you. You will need to let him know how much of the $12 million is yours so that he can transfer the funds to you. Unfortunately we do not have an exact record of the funds due you because Rev. Fagg destroyed the records of your transaction with him. You will need to provide Chief Wiggum with the amount of the fund that is yours.
You can contact Chief Wiggum or his assistant Detective Apu Nahasapimapetilan at this email address. Unfortunately, they are not able to make international telephone calls as they are after all on a city budget. Their email address is: . Please contact Chief Wiggum at your earliest convienience and I am sure he will be more than happy to assist you with obtaining the funds that are rightfully yours.
Again, I am very sorry that these events had to happen to such a kind, caring and obviously needy family such as yours.
May the Phallus guide you and keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Let's see how she responds to this one....
Attn: Tits Mcghee(HighPhallic Elder)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i am sorry for allthese. In the first place who is this man Chief Charlie Wiggum becausei need to who he is before i will contact him. Ilook forward tohearing from you soonest.Thank you and God bless us all.
WarmestRegards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
Seems a bit nervous don't she? I wonder do you think she likes cops?
From: Tits Mcghee High Phallic Elder
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
Sister Estrada,
There is no need to apologize, it was thanks to your diligence that we came to the knowledge that Rev. Fagg was stealing from the church.
You will be blessed by the Great Phallus, and always wet because of your diligence in this matter.
As to the identity of Chief Charlie Wiggum. He is the Detective assigned to the investigation of the theft case against Rev. Fagg. As I said in my previous email you will need to contact him to resolve the matter of your case and to collect the funds due you. Again the case number is: 06098419004194 for your reference. Please just refer to the case number in your email and let him know that you need to resolve your claim with the Church.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
I hope I have soothed her nerves and she goes for the bait, and of course she does, lets all welcome Chief Charlie Wiggum to the fold!
Attn: Mr Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Below is the copyof the message sent to :Chief Charlie Wiggum for yourpersual.
..............................................
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS06098419004194.
I am Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. I wasdirected to contact you by MrTits Mcghee High Phallic Elder of theChurch of the Assimilated Virgin.I write to let you know that ineed to resolve my claim with the church with the total sum ofUSD$58,400.
Sir, i also wish to let you know that the abovementioned funds have been approved to release to me for a very longtime now even before the death of late Rev,Harry Balls.
Finally,i will be very much happier if you would kindly released the saidapproved sum of money to me. As you do this, may the God of the churchof the Assimilated Virgin bless you and your family.
I lookforward to hearing from you soonest.Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
I think I will let her stew for a day and see where things can go from here, stay tuned kiddies this is gonna be fun!
the silly fool sends another note to Tots Mcghee to see where she should go...
Attn: Mr Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Below is the copyof the message sent to :Chief Charlie Wiggum for yourpersual. ...............................................
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS06098419004194.
I am Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. I wasdirected to contact you by MrTits Mcghee High Phallic Elder of theChurch of the Assimilated Virgin.I write to let you know that ineed to resolve my claim with the church with the total sum ofUSD$58,400.
Sir, i also wish to let you know that the abovementioned funds have been approved to release to me for a very longtime now even before the death of late Rev,Harry Balls.
Finally,i will be very much happier if you would kindly released the saidapproved sum of money to me. As you do this, may the God of the churchof the Assimilated Virgin bless you and your family.
I lookforward to hearing from you soonest.Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So I don't respond to this email, as it is really unneccesary, she then sends me the email that started all this to get my opinion on it.
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How are you today?
I have writeen to Chief CharlieWiggum and i told him that my money is Usd$58,400.Actually, my own moneythere is usd$10,000 and the remaining usd$48,400 was meant for the newpiece of land Rev GayLord Fagg told me that he would send the money toacquired a piece of land where the church of the Assimilated Virginwill be established in my area..please sir, i would like you to help meout in collect the money because most of the information required, iwill not be able to forward it to him.Like that of my internationalpassport and my phone would not be given to him because all my traveldocuments are been confiscated by the government of Philippines theexcept my identity card which i will be to forward to him below is mystory.Go through it and see how you are going to help me so that mypeople will be not know.
I didn't include the email again, as it is long and rather boring B.S.
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Please i need your advisebased on the mail i sent to you.
Thank you and God bless us all.
WarmestRegards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
I still have not replied to her, mostly to annoy her, but also because I was busy with work and stuff
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
Sister Estrada,
I am very saddened to hear that you are having such a tough time with providing the information that the Police are requiring to release the funds to you.
I will do what I can within my power as HPE of the Church to assist you in your efforts. I have spoken with Chief Wiggum and requested that he be lenient in his requirements with you. He informed me that he would be willing to accept your ID card that you stated you had as proof of your identity. He informed me that you will need to contact him with your letter filled in the information to the best of your ability.
He has assured me that as long as you do your best to cooperate with them, they will be happy to get you taken care of in a timely and efficient manner. As only police are want to do.
I hope that this has assisted you.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
gee, I hope this helps her, Enter Chief Wiggum again, I am also posting her obviously FAKE ID as well...
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: Manila- Philippine
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -2nd july,1961.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27th Feb,2006.
so now the chief has to answer her and be her buddy right?She also sent a copy to Tits Mcghee, but I thought it pointless to post it twice...
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
Sister Estrada,
I am truly sorry to have been delayed in returning your emails regarding the disposition of your funds. I believe there is some explaining that needs to happen at this point. First of all, let me explain the history of this transaction as you may not be aware of everything that has occurred.
First, Acting Rev. Gaylord Fagg has been arrested and charged with 200 felony counts of theft and embezzlement. It seems that he was not sending the funds to all the needy people as he was tasked with doing, instead he was funnelling the money to a Cayman Island account in his name. This was discovered by the Church in part due to your emails and diligence in making sure that the monies were delivered to you as we had promised you.
I must apologize to you, we should have never allowed a person that was in our "Reform the Felons and Sex Offenders" program to handle such delicate and important transactions as yours. This I assure you has been corrected. In the future we will in the future have these sorts of transaction handled by our trustworthy and professional staff.
Because we have had to have Gaylord Fagg arrested and prosecuted, we had to recover all of the stolen funds from his accounts, in order to do this we had to turn over all fiduciary duties to the Springfield City Police Department. Specifically Chief Charlie Wiggum will be handling all cases of reimbursement and disbursement of funds to those with valid and verifiable claims to the funds. Currently we have approximately $12 million dollars that are awaiting disbursement.
What you will need to do is this: You will need to contact Chief Wiggum with the case number which is: 06098419004194. This will allow him to know that you at least have a valid claim to the funds that should be disbursed to you. You will need to let him know how much of the $12 million is yours so that he can transfer the funds to you. Unfortunately we do not have an exact record of the funds due you because Rev. Fagg destroyed the records of your transaction with him. You will need to provide Chief Wiggum with the amount of the fund that is yours.
You can contact Chief Wiggum or his assistant Detective Apu Nahasapimapetilan at this email address. Unfortunately, they are not able to make international telephone calls as they are after all on a city budget. Their email address is: . Please contact Chief Wiggum at your earliest convienience and I am sure he will be more than happy to assist you with obtaining the funds that are rightfully yours.
Again, I am very sorry that these events had to happen to such a kind, caring and obviously needy family such as yours.
May the Phallus guide you and keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Let's see how she responds to this one....
Attn: Tits Mcghee(HighPhallic Elder)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i am sorry for allthese. In the first place who is this man Chief Charlie Wiggum becausei need to who he is before i will contact him. Ilook forward tohearing from you soonest.Thank you and God bless us all.
WarmestRegards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
Seems a bit nervous don't she? I wonder do you think she likes cops?
From: Tits Mcghee High Phallic Elder
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
Sister Estrada,
There is no need to apologize, it was thanks to your diligence that we came to the knowledge that Rev. Fagg was stealing from the church.
You will be blessed by the Great Phallus, and always wet because of your diligence in this matter.
As to the identity of Chief Charlie Wiggum. He is the Detective assigned to the investigation of the theft case against Rev. Fagg. As I said in my previous email you will need to contact him to resolve the matter of your case and to collect the funds due you. Again the case number is: 06098419004194 for your reference. Please just refer to the case number in your email and let him know that you need to resolve your claim with the Church.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
I hope I have soothed her nerves and she goes for the bait, and of course she does, lets all welcome Chief Charlie Wiggum to the fold!
Attn: Mr Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Below is the copyof the message sent to :Chief Charlie Wiggum for yourpersual.
..............................................
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS06098419004194.
I am Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. I wasdirected to contact you by MrTits Mcghee High Phallic Elder of theChurch of the Assimilated Virgin.I write to let you know that ineed to resolve my claim with the church with the total sum ofUSD$58,400.
Sir, i also wish to let you know that the abovementioned funds have been approved to release to me for a very longtime now even before the death of late Rev,Harry Balls.
Finally,i will be very much happier if you would kindly released the saidapproved sum of money to me. As you do this, may the God of the churchof the Assimilated Virgin bless you and your family.
I lookforward to hearing from you soonest.Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
I think I will let her stew for a day and see where things can go from here, stay tuned kiddies this is gonna be fun!
the silly fool sends another note to Tots Mcghee to see where she should go...
Attn: Mr Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Below is the copyof the message sent to :Chief Charlie Wiggum for yourpersual. ...............................................
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS06098419004194.
I am Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. I wasdirected to contact you by MrTits Mcghee High Phallic Elder of theChurch of the Assimilated Virgin.I write to let you know that ineed to resolve my claim with the church with the total sum ofUSD$58,400.
Sir, i also wish to let you know that the abovementioned funds have been approved to release to me for a very longtime now even before the death of late Rev,Harry Balls.
Finally,i will be very much happier if you would kindly released the saidapproved sum of money to me. As you do this, may the God of the churchof the Assimilated Virgin bless you and your family.
I lookforward to hearing from you soonest.Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So I don't respond to this email, as it is really unneccesary, she then sends me the email that started all this to get my opinion on it.
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How are you today?
I have writeen to Chief CharlieWiggum and i told him that my money is Usd$58,400.Actually, my own moneythere is usd$10,000 and the remaining usd$48,400 was meant for the newpiece of land Rev GayLord Fagg told me that he would send the money toacquired a piece of land where the church of the Assimilated Virginwill be established in my area..please sir, i would like you to help meout in collect the money because most of the information required, iwill not be able to forward it to him.Like that of my internationalpassport and my phone would not be given to him because all my traveldocuments are been confiscated by the government of Philippines theexcept my identity card which i will be to forward to him below is mystory.Go through it and see how you are going to help me so that mypeople will be not know.
I didn't include the email again, as it is long and rather boring B.S.
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Please i need your advisebased on the mail i sent to you.
Thank you and God bless us all.
WarmestRegards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
I still have not replied to her, mostly to annoy her, but also because I was busy with work and stuff
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
Sister Estrada,
I am very saddened to hear that you are having such a tough time with providing the information that the Police are requiring to release the funds to you.
I will do what I can within my power as HPE of the Church to assist you in your efforts. I have spoken with Chief Wiggum and requested that he be lenient in his requirements with you. He informed me that he would be willing to accept your ID card that you stated you had as proof of your identity. He informed me that you will need to contact him with your letter filled in the information to the best of your ability.
He has assured me that as long as you do your best to cooperate with them, they will be happy to get you taken care of in a timely and efficient manner. As only police are want to do.
I hope that this has assisted you.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
gee, I hope this helps her, Enter Chief Wiggum again, I am also posting her obviously FAKE ID as well...
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: Manila- Philippine
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -2nd july,1961.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27th Feb,2006.
so now the chief has to answer her and be her buddy right?She also sent a copy to Tits Mcghee, but I thought it pointless to post it twice...
Monday, February 27, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 4
So of course I DON'T send her anything...
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail.I am glad hearing that the funds would be wired today.
Pleaseyou are advise to send a copy of the Payment slip to me via this myalternative e-mail
address:mrsl_estra2002@yahoo.com.au and a copyto the Security Company's e-mail address:securitas_d114@yahoo.co.uk fortheir persual.
Have a nice day.I look forward to receiving thePayment Slip from you soonest.
thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Aww, more instructions from the peanut gallery....
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
sir,
How are you today andthe church?Based on the content of your mail yesterday, i thought yousaid that you would be wiring the payment out this afternoon, and thenyou would send me the payment slip.
I write to notify that i havenot received any thing from you.Is anything the matter?Please kindly letme know what is going on.
I look forward to receiving the paymentslip. Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Of course I will ignore her for a while ....
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Howare you today?Please what is going on?
I look forward to hearing fromyou.Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs LuisaPimentel Estrada
Impatient arent we? Ok so I send her the payment information...It's fake, but I am sure it will create some great hilarity for her anyway.
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Louis Pimento Estreata
Sister Estreata,
I am very sorry that I was not able to send out the funds as I had earlier told you I would. Unfortunately I came down with a very serious tribble infection and had to have my corn hole reamed out by several podiatrists in order to get regular again. I do have your payment information and it is attached in this letter for you. It seems that our bank would not allow the transfer of funds to your bank, due to all the 9/11 security and whatnot so we had to use Western Union to get the money to you. I am sure that this will not be a problem correct?
Here is your payment information slip.
Name of Payee: Mrs. Louis Pimento Estreata
Secret Question: Who was just baited by the church?
Answer: New baited members!
MTCN Number: 9318262251
I hope these funds find you healthy and able to collect what is rightfully yours!
May god and his great phallus keep you,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend
More to come! Gee I wonder if she will get her money?....Nah!!
Did she collect her money? hmm, what happens now?
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend) Sir, Thanks for your mail and i wish to thank God Almightfor healing you from that infection. I am in receipt of the paymentinformation slip and as i earlier informed you that i would like thefunds to wired into my account via Swift or Telegraphic Transfer and notvia Western Union money transfer reason is because i can not go outbecause i have been under house arrest for a very long timenow. Please, i beg you to change the receiver's name and Address sothat the funds can get to me without any problem.Below are theinformation needed for this transfer.Use these names and address for theWestern Union money transfer. 1.TORNELL JONES ADDRESS:DUBLININLAND. .......................................................................................2.MARIAM OGBONNA ADDRESS: DUBLININLAND. please use the above information to send the money viaWestern Union money transfer.Another important information is this, youhave to split the funds into two with the names above. Finally, youare advise to give me the information below once the payment ismade. A.The name of the receiver and address. B.The sender's nameand address C.The Amount. D.The control numbers(M.T.C.N) E.the testquestion and answer. Please, kindly do this for me. look forwardto receiving the Payment information from you soonest. Thank you andGod bless all. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada
So, I don't send her anything for a day or so, just to keep her anxious and cuz I was bored and never got around to her
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
I write toknow how far you have gone with the payment. Please kindly up dateme.
Payment Slip from you soonest. Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So now I get back to her, and I am thinking:hmm, it appears that she is unable to leave her palace in the Phillipines, oh well the "church" will have to accomodate her right?
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Lous Pimento Estreata
Sister Estreata,
It took us all of yesterday to recover the monies we sent you. Thankfully we were able to recover the funds so that they can be resent to you now. We of course would also like to send you the first installment of our seed money so that we can begin the work of building the church in your area. Would the amount of $42,800 be enough for you to pay the down payment on some piece of property for us to build a temple to the great phallus?
Here is the payment information so that you can collect the money sent to you. Due to the changing transfer rate of funds, we simply rounded up and guestimated as to how much is necessary, please let me know if we have sent you enough money.
PAYMENT 1:
RECIPIENT: MR. TORNELL JONES
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325600887
TEST QUESTION: Who was just baited by the church?
ANSWER: New baited members!
PAYMENT 2:
RECIPIENT: MARIAM OGBONNA
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325600896
TEST QUESTION: What is your corn hole for?
ANSWER: To warm a willing phallus!
I hope that this information finds you healthy and happy. We at the Church of the Assimilated Virgin are praying for your sad family and hope that you are able to be a bit more comfortable now that you have the funds to release what is rightfully yours.
Please Sister Etcetera, make sure and take care of your family and don't forget to spread the great and glorious work of the great phallus and the wet gash to the world.
May the phallus keep you wet,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend
Now let's see if she can collect her money shall we? this should be tons o' fun
Yea I sent her the information and boy was she excited!!
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail with the payment information.Maythe Almight God bless and prosper you and the whole church ofAssimilated Virgin.AS you helped and wiped away shame from my family,the Almight God will never allowed you to see shame in your life.Thenumber of your years will be like the shore of a corn.You will never diebefore your time,you will be established forever as the moon.The churchof Assimilated Virgin have brought back joy and happiness in my familyagain and i vowed never to let kingdom down.I will always live to spreadthe great and glorious work of the great phallus and the wet gash to theworld.
The Usd$42,800 will be enough for me to pay the down paymenton some piece of property for us to build a temple to the greatPhallus.But please wired the funds for the property via swift Transferor Telegraphic Transfer(TT) with the account information i have alreadyforwarded to you.As i am writing to you there are two Properties thatare available for sale and people are coming for them.I advised thatthe funds should be wired immedaietly for payment into that account igave to you before.
Looking forward to hearing from you
Thank you andGod bless us all.
Warmest Regards.
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada
hmmm, I wonder what will happen now? Of course I didn't respond to her idiotic preaching of the work of the Virgin, but hey...
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Please there is no confirmation regarding the payment you made via western union.
Thereceivers have gone to the bank to pick up the funds sent by you butthey were told by the casher that they do not have an order with theprovided information.
Please,you are advised to contact the bankwhere the funds was wired to findout if they actually transfer the fundsbecause there is no such information like the ones you forwarded in thebank.Please do the confirmation now because the funds have not beenwired.
finally, contact the bank and ask them why they have failed towired the funds and let them do the correction so that the funds can bepick up by the receivers.
i look forward to hearing from you soonest. Thank you and God bless all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
so I feel bad for her and have to respond with something to calm her down right? You will notice that I sent her new numbers slightly altered, but first I let her stew a bit in the following emails.
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
How far?were you ableto find out from them and what did they say was the problem? did theyactually send the money?Please let me know immediately.
Lookingforward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada
And she sends me another one!
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Does it that funds wasnot sent out.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So now I must respond with something to make her feel better.
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Lous Pimento Estrda
Sister Estrda,
I will contact the bank and find out why the money was not wired to you. I am sorry that I did not get back to you yesterday, I only now received your email. You see I had to perform Four Weddings and a Funeral for Five Brothers. It was a very hectic day, and I got really tired of playing the Crying Game, and had to rest after my busy day. I will contact the bank today and insure that the funds are wired out if they have not already been.
I have double checked the information I sent you and am sending it to you again to make sure that I didn't Fat Finger the information when I typed it last time. Here is the information double check it will you?
PAYMENT 1:
RECIPIENT: MR.TORNELL JONES
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325608687
TEST QUESTION: Who was just baited by the church?
ANSWER: New baited members!
PAYMENT 2:
RECIPIENT: MARIAM OGBONNA
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325660898
TEST QUESTION: What is your corn hole for?
ANSWER:To warm a willing phallus!
I believe this is the same information I sent you before, but please let me know and if I sent it to you incorrectly the first time, I apologize, this tribble infection had gotten the best of me.
May Gods Phallus keep you wet,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend
More fun on it's way!
Ahh, the saga continues
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Pleasecontact the western union office where you sent out the funds to releasethe funds.I was informed by the receivers that the western unionrefused to released the funds to them.
Please kindly,inform themforthwith to release the funds to the receiversplease.
finally,also make sure you tell them that the funds was meantfor your church members children school fees should in case they askedyou the purpose of sending the funds out.
I am not happy with theway things are going with the funds.
I look forward to hearing from yousoonest.
Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So I didn't respond to her, I am letting the anticipation build. She gets back to me a bit more irritated
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Whereyou able to contact the bank and what was there respond?Please shouldnot be quite over this matter at hand.
Thank you and God bless usall.
warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Still can't spell I see? Hmmm well should I respond? Nah, not yet
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend)
Sir,
Where you able to contact the bank and what was thererespond?Please should not be quite over this matter at hand.
Thankyou and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
Ok, time to respond. Wait for the next update kiddies it will be a doosie!
So now I have to drop the other shoe on her and really start having some fun! But first I have to let her stew a bit...
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend)
Sir, Where you able to contact the bank and what was thererespond?Please should not be quite over this matter at hand. Thankyou and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
Now it's time to really screw with this bitch, ready to meet someone new?
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail.I am glad hearing that the funds would be wired today.
Pleaseyou are advise to send a copy of the Payment slip to me via this myalternative e-mail
address:mrsl_estra2002@yahoo.com.au and a copyto the Security Company's e-mail address:securitas_d114@yahoo.co.uk fortheir persual.
Have a nice day.I look forward to receiving thePayment Slip from you soonest.
thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Aww, more instructions from the peanut gallery....
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
sir,
How are you today andthe church?Based on the content of your mail yesterday, i thought yousaid that you would be wiring the payment out this afternoon, and thenyou would send me the payment slip.
I write to notify that i havenot received any thing from you.Is anything the matter?Please kindly letme know what is going on.
I look forward to receiving the paymentslip. Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Of course I will ignore her for a while ....
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Howare you today?Please what is going on?
I look forward to hearing fromyou.Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs LuisaPimentel Estrada
Impatient arent we? Ok so I send her the payment information...It's fake, but I am sure it will create some great hilarity for her anyway.
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Louis Pimento Estreata
Sister Estreata,
I am very sorry that I was not able to send out the funds as I had earlier told you I would. Unfortunately I came down with a very serious tribble infection and had to have my corn hole reamed out by several podiatrists in order to get regular again. I do have your payment information and it is attached in this letter for you. It seems that our bank would not allow the transfer of funds to your bank, due to all the 9/11 security and whatnot so we had to use Western Union to get the money to you. I am sure that this will not be a problem correct?
Here is your payment information slip.
Name of Payee: Mrs. Louis Pimento Estreata
Secret Question: Who was just baited by the church?
Answer: New baited members!
MTCN Number: 9318262251
I hope these funds find you healthy and able to collect what is rightfully yours!
May god and his great phallus keep you,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend
More to come! Gee I wonder if she will get her money?....Nah!!
Did she collect her money? hmm, what happens now?
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend) Sir, Thanks for your mail and i wish to thank God Almightfor healing you from that infection. I am in receipt of the paymentinformation slip and as i earlier informed you that i would like thefunds to wired into my account via Swift or Telegraphic Transfer and notvia Western Union money transfer reason is because i can not go outbecause i have been under house arrest for a very long timenow. Please, i beg you to change the receiver's name and Address sothat the funds can get to me without any problem.Below are theinformation needed for this transfer.Use these names and address for theWestern Union money transfer. 1.TORNELL JONES ADDRESS:DUBLININLAND. .......................................................................................2.MARIAM OGBONNA ADDRESS: DUBLININLAND. please use the above information to send the money viaWestern Union money transfer.Another important information is this, youhave to split the funds into two with the names above. Finally, youare advise to give me the information below once the payment ismade. A.The name of the receiver and address. B.The sender's nameand address C.The Amount. D.The control numbers(M.T.C.N) E.the testquestion and answer. Please, kindly do this for me. look forwardto receiving the Payment information from you soonest. Thank you andGod bless all. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada
So, I don't send her anything for a day or so, just to keep her anxious and cuz I was bored and never got around to her
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
I write toknow how far you have gone with the payment. Please kindly up dateme.
Payment Slip from you soonest. Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So now I get back to her, and I am thinking:hmm, it appears that she is unable to leave her palace in the Phillipines, oh well the "church" will have to accomodate her right?
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Lous Pimento Estreata
Sister Estreata,
It took us all of yesterday to recover the monies we sent you. Thankfully we were able to recover the funds so that they can be resent to you now. We of course would also like to send you the first installment of our seed money so that we can begin the work of building the church in your area. Would the amount of $42,800 be enough for you to pay the down payment on some piece of property for us to build a temple to the great phallus?
Here is the payment information so that you can collect the money sent to you. Due to the changing transfer rate of funds, we simply rounded up and guestimated as to how much is necessary, please let me know if we have sent you enough money.
PAYMENT 1:
RECIPIENT: MR. TORNELL JONES
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325600887
TEST QUESTION: Who was just baited by the church?
ANSWER: New baited members!
PAYMENT 2:
RECIPIENT: MARIAM OGBONNA
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325600896
TEST QUESTION: What is your corn hole for?
ANSWER: To warm a willing phallus!
I hope that this information finds you healthy and happy. We at the Church of the Assimilated Virgin are praying for your sad family and hope that you are able to be a bit more comfortable now that you have the funds to release what is rightfully yours.
Please Sister Etcetera, make sure and take care of your family and don't forget to spread the great and glorious work of the great phallus and the wet gash to the world.
May the phallus keep you wet,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend
Now let's see if she can collect her money shall we? this should be tons o' fun
Yea I sent her the information and boy was she excited!!
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail with the payment information.Maythe Almight God bless and prosper you and the whole church ofAssimilated Virgin.AS you helped and wiped away shame from my family,the Almight God will never allowed you to see shame in your life.Thenumber of your years will be like the shore of a corn.You will never diebefore your time,you will be established forever as the moon.The churchof Assimilated Virgin have brought back joy and happiness in my familyagain and i vowed never to let kingdom down.I will always live to spreadthe great and glorious work of the great phallus and the wet gash to theworld.
The Usd$42,800 will be enough for me to pay the down paymenton some piece of property for us to build a temple to the greatPhallus.But please wired the funds for the property via swift Transferor Telegraphic Transfer(TT) with the account information i have alreadyforwarded to you.As i am writing to you there are two Properties thatare available for sale and people are coming for them.I advised thatthe funds should be wired immedaietly for payment into that account igave to you before.
Looking forward to hearing from you
Thank you andGod bless us all.
Warmest Regards.
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada
hmmm, I wonder what will happen now? Of course I didn't respond to her idiotic preaching of the work of the Virgin, but hey...
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Please there is no confirmation regarding the payment you made via western union.
Thereceivers have gone to the bank to pick up the funds sent by you butthey were told by the casher that they do not have an order with theprovided information.
Please,you are advised to contact the bankwhere the funds was wired to findout if they actually transfer the fundsbecause there is no such information like the ones you forwarded in thebank.Please do the confirmation now because the funds have not beenwired.
finally, contact the bank and ask them why they have failed towired the funds and let them do the correction so that the funds can bepick up by the receivers.
i look forward to hearing from you soonest. Thank you and God bless all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
so I feel bad for her and have to respond with something to calm her down right? You will notice that I sent her new numbers slightly altered, but first I let her stew a bit in the following emails.
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
How far?were you ableto find out from them and what did they say was the problem? did theyactually send the money?Please let me know immediately.
Lookingforward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada
And she sends me another one!
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Does it that funds wasnot sent out.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So now I must respond with something to make her feel better.
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Lous Pimento Estrda
Sister Estrda,
I will contact the bank and find out why the money was not wired to you. I am sorry that I did not get back to you yesterday, I only now received your email. You see I had to perform Four Weddings and a Funeral for Five Brothers. It was a very hectic day, and I got really tired of playing the Crying Game, and had to rest after my busy day. I will contact the bank today and insure that the funds are wired out if they have not already been.
I have double checked the information I sent you and am sending it to you again to make sure that I didn't Fat Finger the information when I typed it last time. Here is the information double check it will you?
PAYMENT 1:
RECIPIENT: MR.TORNELL JONES
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325608687
TEST QUESTION: Who was just baited by the church?
ANSWER: New baited members!
PAYMENT 2:
RECIPIENT: MARIAM OGBONNA
ADDRESS: DUBLIN INLAND
SENDER: GAYLORD FAGG
CLEVELAND OH, USA
AMOUNT: $5,000 USD
M.T.C.N: 9325660898
TEST QUESTION: What is your corn hole for?
ANSWER:To warm a willing phallus!
I believe this is the same information I sent you before, but please let me know and if I sent it to you incorrectly the first time, I apologize, this tribble infection had gotten the best of me.
May Gods Phallus keep you wet,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend
More fun on it's way!
Ahh, the saga continues
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Pleasecontact the western union office where you sent out the funds to releasethe funds.I was informed by the receivers that the western unionrefused to released the funds to them.
Please kindly,inform themforthwith to release the funds to the receiversplease.
finally,also make sure you tell them that the funds was meantfor your church members children school fees should in case they askedyou the purpose of sending the funds out.
I am not happy with theway things are going with the funds.
I look forward to hearing from yousoonest.
Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So I didn't respond to her, I am letting the anticipation build. She gets back to me a bit more irritated
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Whereyou able to contact the bank and what was there respond?Please shouldnot be quite over this matter at hand.
Thank you and God bless usall.
warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Still can't spell I see? Hmmm well should I respond? Nah, not yet
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend)
Sir,
Where you able to contact the bank and what was thererespond?Please should not be quite over this matter at hand.
Thankyou and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
Ok, time to respond. Wait for the next update kiddies it will be a doosie!
So now I have to drop the other shoe on her and really start having some fun! But first I have to let her stew a bit...
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(ActingReverend)
Sir, Where you able to contact the bank and what was thererespond?Please should not be quite over this matter at hand. Thankyou and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
Now it's time to really screw with this bitch, ready to meet someone new?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 3
Oh, yea time to bring in another player
From: Gaylord Fagg
Assistant to Rev. Harry Balls
To: Mrs. Louisa Pimental Estrada
Sister Estrada,
Firstly let me introduce myself, I amPastor in training Gaylord Fagg. I am Rev. Harry Balls' assistant andNew Membership coordinator. I want to first let you know that, as awhole we were not offended by your offer of 25%, you simply did notunderstand how our church works.
I have been instructed by Rev.Balls to begin the New Membership process with you, so that we may beable to assist you and spread the word of the Assimilated Virgin to allpeoples of the earth.
In order for us to assist you as I amsure Rev. Balls informed you, the first step is to bring yourself andyour family into our "family of the Assimilated Virgin". This doesrequire that you of course join in our faith. The process for this isvery simple, and we are sure you will be able to do this with little orno effort or hardship on your part.
First, you must send us aphoto of yourself for our new membership rolls. This of course hasalready been supplied by our brother Standingup. You needn't send usanother one, as you have ALREADY TAKEN THE FIRST STEP!Congratulations!
Second, you must sign and return the attachedmembership acceptance and enrollment form. All you need do is eitherprint sign, scan and return to us or you may also print it then fax itback to us if that would be easier for you. Please make sure that you dosign the form. Only hand signed forms will be accepted. Our fax/phonenumber is: 206-666-4930.
Once the forms have been submitted tous we can either send you the funds to release your belongings via MoneyTransfer or we can simply wire the money to a bank account of yourchoosing.
We also require that as a new member, if there is not a hall of worship where you may go and worship the Great Phallus, thatyou also stay in touch with us, so that we can begin the process offinding a suitable location to either build or purchase a building foryou and all the new members to worship in. We as a church of coursewould finance the entire project. As the first member in your area, youof course would have sole discretion over what type of building or landwould be appropriate for this. If you would like we can also sendmissionaries to you to assist you in starting this process as well.
I have at Rev. Balls' request also attached a photo of the reverendfor you as well.
I am happy to assist you, and if you needanything or have any questions, please feel free to ask. God bless yousister, and may the Great Phallus protect you.
God bless,
Gaylord Fagg
Assistant to Rev. HarryBalls
gotta keep her on her toes right? Now the photo attached was of Q from the judgment episode. I will post the enrollment agreement in a while
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
Thanks for all your endavours ireally appreciate it all. Sir, i accepted all what you madementioned in the mail. But could you please help me re-send all theattachments via this my alternative e-mailaddress:mrsl_estra2000@yahoo.com.au so that i can get all theattachments and complete that which you requested that i shoulddo.Please i find it difficult to get attachment from this box.
Onceagain,my family and i are highly appreciate your co-working andco-operating for us always.
And thank you again for your greatmerciful assistances .
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs LuisaPimentel Estrada.
will she sign it?
somehow I missed an email somewhere but she requested I send the attachments again. so of course I did
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Estradea
Mrs. Estradea,
Here are the attachments as requested. Please follow all the instructions from the previous email I sent you. I will be looking for your return email to begin the process for you.
Again our phone/fax number here at the church offices is: 206-666-4930. Please call us if you have any concerns or problems.
God bless you and may the Great Phallus keep you.
Gaylord Fagg
Asst. to Rev. Harry Balls
hmm will she sign or not?
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls Sir Please write to find out if you
received the mail i sent to you about two hours ago. Please sir, i requested
that the attachments should please resend to me so that i can complete that which i was required to do.I was not able to retrive the attachment through this box. Please i will be very much happy if
those attachments should be resent to me via this my alternative e-mail
address:mrsl_estra2002@yahoo.com.au so that i will proceed.Sorry for
the troublems. I look forward hearing from you. Thank you and God Bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.luisa Pimentel Estrada
and round we go
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Louis Pimento Estradea
Sister Estrada,
I have received your email and have sent the attachments to the email
address you specified. I hope that this helps you and you are able to
complete the membership process with our church. We do look forward to
having you and your families as new members in the Great Phallus.
God bless you,
Gaylord Fagg
Asst. to Rev. Harry Balls
well I'm waiting....
Attn: Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i am very sorry for replying late it was as a
result of my illness.For the past three days i have been on the sick
bed.Once again, i reallY appreciate your co-working and co-operation for
us always and thank you for your great assistances.
Sir, please do what ever you wish to do to help my family and i out.
Finally,,below is the attached Membership Agreement form for your
persual. Ilook forward to hearing from you.Thank you and God bless us all.
warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
She signed it, and here it is for your viewing pleasure, now read carefully kiddies
The Church of the Assimilated Virgin
MEMBERSHIP AGREEMENT AND ENROLLMENT FORM
Name: ____________________________
1. I _____________, Do swear to uphold the beliefs and tenets of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. I promise to follow in the teachings and the ways of my Church Officials. I will NEVER question or doubt the leadership of the Church.
2. I _____________, Will spend every waking moment worshiping the Great Phallus, and praying that one day it may spooge its glory upon me.
3. I _____________, Give myself wholly and completely to the Great Phallus, and will never stray from its testimonial testicles. The great and heavy testimonial testicles will be my guiding rod.
4. I _____________, Shall donate my time and energy to making the Church of the Assimilated Virgin the greatest and most powerful phallus on Earth. My phallus shall be dedicated to the whims and turns of the Church.
5. I _____________, Promise to give my corn hole to all sailors and men of honor or inmates whenever they need a warm corn hole to place their phallus in.
With the above agreements and with my whole being I do declare that I wish to join the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. By agreeing to become a member of the Church I agree to follow the Assimilated Virgin in all things, and to become the best baited person that I can be, following in her wet and waiting gash of love and healthy living, as only the great phallus could provide.
______________________ _____________
Newly Baited Member Date of Baiting
So I sit on the membership agreement for a while
Attn:Rev Harry Balls
Sir,
I write to know if youhave received the mail i sent to you with the attached membershipagreement.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
A little anxious arent' we?
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
Can some body tell me what is goingon.I have not heard from you since i sent the membership agreement toyou. Please sir, is anything the matter?Kindly up date me.
I lookforward hearing from you.
Thank you and God Bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.luisa Pimentel Estrada
Still made her wait a bit, and you will soon see why
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
I have not heard from you since isent the membership agreement to you.Is anything the matter? Please tryto up date me.I look forward hearing from you.
Thank you and Godbless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
ok time to let her in on a little disaster secret
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Louisa Pimento Estradea
Sisster Estreada,
I am sorry that I have not gotten back to you sooner regarding your membership agreement. It has been a very sad week for us here. You see, Rev. Harry Balls was murdered while attempting to assist some homeless people into the relocation vans, which the city uses to move the homeless to Akron. Unfortunately due to this situation, I have not had much time to handle your situation. Please forgive the delay in your assistance.
I will now review your membership agreement, and from there it should not be an issue to have the money wired to the security house and to have your monies released. I will get back to you within the next few days, with your payment information.
Now, were you interested in opening a branch of the church in your area? If so, please let us know so that we may begin the process of alocating that money as well.
Also, which bank would you like the funds wired to? or, do you prefer to use Western Union?
May the phallus bless and keep you,
Acting Rev. Gaylord Fagg.
hmm will she take the bait, and feel the pain of the church? Now she did send me the information, but I seem to have misplaced the email. Oh, well
Attn: Rev Harry Balls Sir, How areyou today, the church and the whole members? I write to know how farthings are going with te church and to ask if you have received theaccount information where the funds will be wired into via TelegraphicTransfer or Swift Transfer. Have a nice day and take very good careof your self. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you and God Bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.luisa PimentelEstrada
well now I just have to respond to her right?
Sister Etceteda,
The church is still recovering from Rev. Harry Ball's death. We will be back to church business as usual shortly. I know you mean well, but could you please not address you future email to Rev. Harry? He has gone to the great wet gash in the center, and so if you could please address the mail to myself that would be very appreciated.
We have received your payment information, and are in the process of disbursing the funds. We in the church are very excited to hear that you would like to open a branch chamber of the great phallus in your area. I have spoken to the testicular comittee, and they are as I write arranging for as many as 100 missionaries to travel to the Phillipines to begin the great work with you to open the church! Bless you Sister Etceteda! You will soon be in the great warmth of the Phallus I am sure!
God bless and phallically keep you,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend.
the saga continues....
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail and i am very sorry if i have done something wrong.Please sir, howwas the burial?Please help me tell the diseased family and the wholechurch to take heart to bear the lost of the former Rev.HarryBalls. Please sir, my family and i are suffering.Make sure you actfast to help our situation.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
So I guess she took my admonition to heart huh? Yea and I will make sure and tell the "diseased" family all about it.
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Louis Pimento Estreta
SisterEstreta,
You have not offended anyone with your emails. We allunderstand that with your limited english vocabulary, that you may havea hard time with those sorts of things.
I will be wiring the paymentout later this afternoon, and then I will send you the paymentinformation so that you may collect the funds necessary to help yourfamily out of their situation.
We do appreciate the care andheartfelt sympathies that you have sent in your emails regarding thepassing of Rev. Balls. We do appreciate you and your families prayersand love in this time of sadness for the church.
Please look forthe email with the payment information attached.
May god blessyou and his phallus keep you wet.
Gaylord Fagg
ActingReverend.
From: Gaylord Fagg
Assistant to Rev. Harry Balls
To: Mrs. Louisa Pimental Estrada
Sister Estrada,
Firstly let me introduce myself, I amPastor in training Gaylord Fagg. I am Rev. Harry Balls' assistant andNew Membership coordinator. I want to first let you know that, as awhole we were not offended by your offer of 25%, you simply did notunderstand how our church works.
I have been instructed by Rev.Balls to begin the New Membership process with you, so that we may beable to assist you and spread the word of the Assimilated Virgin to allpeoples of the earth.
In order for us to assist you as I amsure Rev. Balls informed you, the first step is to bring yourself andyour family into our "family of the Assimilated Virgin". This doesrequire that you of course join in our faith. The process for this isvery simple, and we are sure you will be able to do this with little orno effort or hardship on your part.
First, you must send us aphoto of yourself for our new membership rolls. This of course hasalready been supplied by our brother Standingup. You needn't send usanother one, as you have ALREADY TAKEN THE FIRST STEP!Congratulations!
Second, you must sign and return the attachedmembership acceptance and enrollment form. All you need do is eitherprint sign, scan and return to us or you may also print it then fax itback to us if that would be easier for you. Please make sure that you dosign the form. Only hand signed forms will be accepted. Our fax/phonenumber is: 206-666-4930.
Once the forms have been submitted tous we can either send you the funds to release your belongings via MoneyTransfer or we can simply wire the money to a bank account of yourchoosing.
We also require that as a new member, if there is not a hall of worship where you may go and worship the Great Phallus, thatyou also stay in touch with us, so that we can begin the process offinding a suitable location to either build or purchase a building foryou and all the new members to worship in. We as a church of coursewould finance the entire project. As the first member in your area, youof course would have sole discretion over what type of building or landwould be appropriate for this. If you would like we can also sendmissionaries to you to assist you in starting this process as well.
I have at Rev. Balls' request also attached a photo of the reverendfor you as well.
I am happy to assist you, and if you needanything or have any questions, please feel free to ask. God bless yousister, and may the Great Phallus protect you.
God bless,
Gaylord Fagg
Assistant to Rev. HarryBalls
gotta keep her on her toes right? Now the photo attached was of Q from the judgment episode. I will post the enrollment agreement in a while
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
Thanks for all your endavours ireally appreciate it all. Sir, i accepted all what you madementioned in the mail. But could you please help me re-send all theattachments via this my alternative e-mailaddress:mrsl_estra2000@yahoo.com.au so that i can get all theattachments and complete that which you requested that i shoulddo.Please i find it difficult to get attachment from this box.
Onceagain,my family and i are highly appreciate your co-working andco-operating for us always.
And thank you again for your greatmerciful assistances .
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs LuisaPimentel Estrada.
will she sign it?
somehow I missed an email somewhere but she requested I send the attachments again. so of course I did
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Estradea
Mrs. Estradea,
Here are the attachments as requested. Please follow all the instructions from the previous email I sent you. I will be looking for your return email to begin the process for you.
Again our phone/fax number here at the church offices is: 206-666-4930. Please call us if you have any concerns or problems.
God bless you and may the Great Phallus keep you.
Gaylord Fagg
Asst. to Rev. Harry Balls
hmm will she sign or not?
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls Sir Please write to find out if you
received the mail i sent to you about two hours ago. Please sir, i requested
that the attachments should please resend to me so that i can complete that which i was required to do.I was not able to retrive the attachment through this box. Please i will be very much happy if
those attachments should be resent to me via this my alternative e-mail
address:mrsl_estra2002@yahoo.com.au so that i will proceed.Sorry for
the troublems. I look forward hearing from you. Thank you and God Bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.luisa Pimentel Estrada
and round we go
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Mrs. Louis Pimento Estradea
Sister Estrada,
I have received your email and have sent the attachments to the email
address you specified. I hope that this helps you and you are able to
complete the membership process with our church. We do look forward to
having you and your families as new members in the Great Phallus.
God bless you,
Gaylord Fagg
Asst. to Rev. Harry Balls
well I'm waiting....
Attn: Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i am very sorry for replying late it was as a
result of my illness.For the past three days i have been on the sick
bed.Once again, i reallY appreciate your co-working and co-operation for
us always and thank you for your great assistances.
Sir, please do what ever you wish to do to help my family and i out.
Finally,,below is the attached Membership Agreement form for your
persual. Ilook forward to hearing from you.Thank you and God bless us all.
warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
She signed it, and here it is for your viewing pleasure, now read carefully kiddies
The Church of the Assimilated Virgin
MEMBERSHIP AGREEMENT AND ENROLLMENT FORM
Name: ____________________________
1. I _____________, Do swear to uphold the beliefs and tenets of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. I promise to follow in the teachings and the ways of my Church Officials. I will NEVER question or doubt the leadership of the Church.
2. I _____________, Will spend every waking moment worshiping the Great Phallus, and praying that one day it may spooge its glory upon me.
3. I _____________, Give myself wholly and completely to the Great Phallus, and will never stray from its testimonial testicles. The great and heavy testimonial testicles will be my guiding rod.
4. I _____________, Shall donate my time and energy to making the Church of the Assimilated Virgin the greatest and most powerful phallus on Earth. My phallus shall be dedicated to the whims and turns of the Church.
5. I _____________, Promise to give my corn hole to all sailors and men of honor or inmates whenever they need a warm corn hole to place their phallus in.
With the above agreements and with my whole being I do declare that I wish to join the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. By agreeing to become a member of the Church I agree to follow the Assimilated Virgin in all things, and to become the best baited person that I can be, following in her wet and waiting gash of love and healthy living, as only the great phallus could provide.
______________________ _____________
Newly Baited Member Date of Baiting
So I sit on the membership agreement for a while
Attn:Rev Harry Balls
Sir,
I write to know if youhave received the mail i sent to you with the attached membershipagreement.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
A little anxious arent' we?
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
Can some body tell me what is goingon.I have not heard from you since i sent the membership agreement toyou. Please sir, is anything the matter?Kindly up date me.
I lookforward hearing from you.
Thank you and God Bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.luisa Pimentel Estrada
Still made her wait a bit, and you will soon see why
Attn:Rev. Harry Balls
Sir,
I have not heard from you since isent the membership agreement to you.Is anything the matter? Please tryto up date me.I look forward hearing from you.
Thank you and Godbless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
ok time to let her in on a little disaster secret
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Louisa Pimento Estradea
Sisster Estreada,
I am sorry that I have not gotten back to you sooner regarding your membership agreement. It has been a very sad week for us here. You see, Rev. Harry Balls was murdered while attempting to assist some homeless people into the relocation vans, which the city uses to move the homeless to Akron. Unfortunately due to this situation, I have not had much time to handle your situation. Please forgive the delay in your assistance.
I will now review your membership agreement, and from there it should not be an issue to have the money wired to the security house and to have your monies released. I will get back to you within the next few days, with your payment information.
Now, were you interested in opening a branch of the church in your area? If so, please let us know so that we may begin the process of alocating that money as well.
Also, which bank would you like the funds wired to? or, do you prefer to use Western Union?
May the phallus bless and keep you,
Acting Rev. Gaylord Fagg.
hmm will she take the bait, and feel the pain of the church? Now she did send me the information, but I seem to have misplaced the email. Oh, well
Attn: Rev Harry Balls Sir, How areyou today, the church and the whole members? I write to know how farthings are going with te church and to ask if you have received theaccount information where the funds will be wired into via TelegraphicTransfer or Swift Transfer. Have a nice day and take very good careof your self. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you and God Bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.luisa PimentelEstrada
well now I just have to respond to her right?
Sister Etceteda,
The church is still recovering from Rev. Harry Ball's death. We will be back to church business as usual shortly. I know you mean well, but could you please not address you future email to Rev. Harry? He has gone to the great wet gash in the center, and so if you could please address the mail to myself that would be very appreciated.
We have received your payment information, and are in the process of disbursing the funds. We in the church are very excited to hear that you would like to open a branch chamber of the great phallus in your area. I have spoken to the testicular comittee, and they are as I write arranging for as many as 100 missionaries to travel to the Phillipines to begin the great work with you to open the church! Bless you Sister Etceteda! You will soon be in the great warmth of the Phallus I am sure!
God bless and phallically keep you,
Gaylord Fagg
Acting Reverend.
the saga continues....
Attn: Mr Gaylord Fagg(Acting Reverend)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail and i am very sorry if i have done something wrong.Please sir, howwas the burial?Please help me tell the diseased family and the wholechurch to take heart to bear the lost of the former Rev.HarryBalls. Please sir, my family and i are suffering.Make sure you actfast to help our situation.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you and God bless all.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.LuisaPimentel Estrada
So I guess she took my admonition to heart huh? Yea and I will make sure and tell the "diseased" family all about it.
From: Gaylord Fagg
To: Louis Pimento Estreta
SisterEstreta,
You have not offended anyone with your emails. We allunderstand that with your limited english vocabulary, that you may havea hard time with those sorts of things.
I will be wiring the paymentout later this afternoon, and then I will send you the paymentinformation so that you may collect the funds necessary to help yourfamily out of their situation.
We do appreciate the care andheartfelt sympathies that you have sent in your emails regarding thepassing of Rev. Balls. We do appreciate you and your families prayersand love in this time of sadness for the church.
Please look forthe email with the payment information attached.
May god blessyou and his phallus keep you wet.
Gaylord Fagg
ActingReverend.
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