Saturday, December 31, 2011

NO SEX FOR YOU!! AND YOU! AND YOU!

So, it appears that the crazy son-of-a-bitch Warren Jeffs is at it again. First he bans his "faithful followers" from using ATV's, Children's toys, Bicycles, Trampolines or Swimming pools. Then he tells his "followers" that they MUST have an interview with his brother (the interim "leader") Lyle Jeffs to be "chosen" or they will "fry".

This last edict of his takes the proverbial cake;

He has "prophesied" that the world is going to end and the "walls of his prison will crumble and he will again be free". That in itself smacks of good old Joe Smith predicting that he would be 'freed from jail in Nauvoo and lead his people to the promised land' (that of course never happened, as we all know, he was whacked by a group of people that were pissed off about him screwing their under-age daughters) -- Prophet Warren's little prediction is about as believeable as all the other doomsayer predictions out there.

This isn't what takes the cake so to speak though.

Here is what does:

As the year comes to an end and the followers of Warren Jeffs await the apocalypse he has predicted, they're living under a challenging edict: they're forbidden to have sex until Jeffs is sprung from a Texas prison.


That's correct kids! NO NOOKIE for you till I get free!!! Either this guy is a complete jackwagon and just doesn't get it, or he thinks that by doing this it will pressure his believers to push hard for his release. I am betting on the latter more than the former.
 
The truly hilarious part of all this is that people are NOW leaving the FLDS 'faith' in droves. Looks like the power of PUSSY is more powerful that the word of the prophet? I know I would definitely leave a faith where sex was verboten. (Wait, I DID).
 
I am not sure why anyone would stay with the insane edicts he as passed down since he has been imprisoned. Not even a True Believer can swallow this crap for very long. It's not as tame as the "no earrings" edict to the LDS faithful although by far sillier.
 
Thought I would share some good humor today. It's been a while and this just struck me funny.
 
Happy new year to you all!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Happy Holidays!! (Whichever one you want to observe)

With all the holiday hullabaloo going on, I thought I would look into it a bit and wish you all a happy holiday. Now, since there are SOOO Many you can pick which one, I don't intend to walk around wishing everyone 75 different holiday greetings. (my conversations with people would be way too long).

If you want, just pick one and use it for the month. It all works the same right?

Heres a list for you to peruse. Pick your favorite! I personally like December 18th.






•Hi Neighbor Month



•National Stress Free Family Holiday Month



•Read A New Book Month



•Safe Toy and Gift Month

Check out my page for this special day!



•Universal Human Rights Month



•Write to a Friend Month



December 1st





•Eat A Red Apple Day



•National Pie Day



•Rosa Park's Day

Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus in 1955.



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•World AIDS Day



December 2nd





•National Fritters Day



•Special Education Day



December 3rd





•International Day of the Disabled Person



•National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day



December 4th





•National Cookie Day



•Wear Brown Shoes Day



December 5th





•Annual Day of the Ninja



•Walter Elias (Walt) Disney's Birthday

Born in Chicago in 1901. Check out my page for this special day!



December 6th





•Ira Gershwin's Birthday

A Famous Composer born in 1896.



•Mitten Tree Day



•St. Nicholas Day



December 7th





•National Cotton Candy Day



•Pearl Harbor Day

Japan attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941.



December 8th





•National Brownie Day



December 9th





•Ball-Bearing Roller Skates Patented

In 1884.



•First Christmas Seals Issued

In 1907.



December 10th





•Emily Dickinson's Birthday

Born in 1830.



•Human Rights Day

United Nations' Declaration of Human Rights in 1948.



•Nobel Peace Prize Awarded



December 11th





•National Noodle Ring Day



•UNICEF Anniversary

Established in 1946.



December 12th





•Frank Sinatra's Birthday

Born in 1915.



•Golf Tee Patented



•Hovercraft Patented

In 1955 by Sir Christopher Cockerill.



•Poinsettia Day



December 13th





•National Cocoa Day



December 14th





•First Miniature Golf Course Opened

In 1929.



•South Pole Discovered

In 1911.



December 15th





•Bill of Rights Day

Adopted in this day in 1791.



•Phonograph Patented

By Thomas Edison in 1877.



December 16th





•Boston Tea Party Anniversary

In 1773. Check out my page for this special day!



•Las Posadas



•Ludwig Von Beethoven's Birthday

A Famous Composer born in 1770.



•National Chocolate Covered Anything Day



December 17th





•National Maple Syrup Day



•Underdog Day



•Wright Brother's Day

First flight at Kitty Hawk in 1903. Check out my page for this special day!



December 18th





•Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day



December 19th





•Oatmeal Muffin Day



December 20th





•Games Day



•Hanukkah Begins at Sunset



December 21st





•First Crossword Puzzle in a Newspaper



•Humbug Day



•Look at the Bright Side Day



•National Flashlight Day



December 22nd





•First Christmas Lights for Sale

In 1882.



•First Day of Winter



•Thermometer Was Invented



December 23rd





•Roots Day



December 24th





•National Egg Nog Day



December 25th





•Christmas

Check out my page for this special day!



•National Pumpkin Pie Day



December 26th





•Boxing Day



•Kwanzaa Begins

Check out my page for this special day!



•National Whiners Day



December 27th





•Visit the Zoo Day



December 28th





•Card Playing Day



•Chewing Gum Patented

In 1869.



•National Chocolate Day



December 29th





•Bowling Ball Invented

In 1862.



•Pepper Pot Day



December 30th





•Let's Make A Deal Day

Debuted on NBC in 1963.



•Tiger Woods' Birthday

Born in 1975.



December 31st





•New Year's Eve

Check out my page for this special day!