Saturday, April 17, 2010

What the $!@#%

Last night, my wife invited her sister's family to go to dinner with us. While I am not always a 'huge fan' of going to dinner with her family. (They for the most part annoy me)-- although they are good material for my blog and my book.

We arrive and are waiting for them to arrive, after a few minutes, my wife the patient individual that she is --she's about as patient as a tick at a blood drive, calls her sister at their HOME number. Of course, they haven't left yet and they are already 10 minutes late. Normally, this isn't annoying but you have to understand first; I'm HUNGRY, my 11 year old is hungry and I wanted to go out to dinner, I just wasn't planning on having to wait to eat till her sister and family arrived. About 20 minutes after she calls, they arrive, fight with their 2 year old to sit down and behave order our food and of course make small talk till the food arrives.

Once the food arrives, my wife, myself and our son dig in. It's chow-time right?

Loudly and in her most annoying voice my wife's sister announces "Son, fold your arms!" she then leans across her husband and begins forcibly grabbing at her 2 year old. The kid of course begins his "aaah, aaah, NO, NO" routine, slapping her hands away and avoiding her. Frustrated I am sure, she then YELLS (In a CROWDED Restaurant) "We are SAYING A PRAYER, FOLD YOUR ARMS!" I swear, the entire dining-room was staring at our table. She then says loudly "Honey, say the prayer." Staring at my son "We are Praying now!" My son, stared and continued to chew on his pizza that he had ordered.

She nudges her husband who blurts out some quick and dirty little prayer, his face red as a beet, at the end of his prayer, his wife announces "AMEN!" then tells my son, "you can eat now, the food is blessed."

I, if it weren't for the fact that I love my wife and of course didn't want to make the scene any worse wanted desperately to punch that psycho directly in the forehead and then loudly apologize to the entire restaurant for her behavior.

Needless to say, I have some questions:

Since when did people pray loudly in restaurants? Is this a new phenomena or have I just been oblivious?

Is this some kind of new christian dogma that people are supposed to publicly display their belief in imaginary beings?

Am I wrong to be mortified and pity their kid?

What do you think?


  1. Thats pretty crazy. I feel sorry for your son, this '"you can eat now, the food is blessed."' was completely innapropriate. I feel like this is something that I can chuckle about because I wasn't a part of it-but that did sound incredibly uncomfortable.

  2. It was. Sadly, it wasn't a surprise. That is her typical behavior, my son by now is used to her, still gets embarrassed and annoyed but he wills survive..