If I were a religious man......

If I were a religious man.....I would probably find this post INCREDIBLY OFFENSIVE. Since I am not a religious individual and I hope that whether or not you are a religious person, you can take this with the sense in which it is intended: Humor....

Yes, that's right, I am going to poke fun at religion, belief etc. If you think I'm wrong or a blasphemer, feel free to tell me. Matter of fact, I won't censor your posts (Like MORMON sites and many Christian pages do) Say your piece, you have that right here. Nobody gets censored save for pornography. Although it has it's place and I have been known to be a fan of it from time to time, it's place is not here.

So, without further adieu here we go......

If this is what going to church looked like, I WOULD be there every Sunday and twice at X-Mas!!! You better believe it, If this were church, I would be a True Believer For Life!! You could even get me to donate income if that is what it looked like to go.

Sadly it's not.....

Church/Religious belief actually looks like this:

And I am sure you all know, the "guilt" factor of being religious and going to church. Everything damn thing you do is a SIN, yes that's right. Touch your weenie, you SINNER. Check out an ass --You got it!! SINNER! Watch the game instead of going to Church -- SINNER!! No wonder Church looks like an old hag. It sucks and you would never wanna be seen with it in public!! It's not even a moped. You don't get to even have fun 'riding' it!!

Tell you what, if you look closely you can see that EVEN TRUE BELIEVERS, DON'T BELIEVE AND ARE ONLY GOOD WHEN SOMEONE IS WATCHING. Check out the pic, it's the perfect example of what I mean.

I remember a time I went to an "Adult Bookstore" to buy some "Adult Magazines", Yes I do occasionally check em out. (My wife bought me a subscription to Playboy). While I was in there perusing the different magazines for sale, I saw a familiar face --- MY BISHOP!! When I said hello, he did the "Whaaaaa!!!! Ummm hello brother..... I was just seeing what was so tempting about this for my talk on Sunday." -- Sure he was, that's why he was playing "pocket pool" and holding the magazine with one hand? Because he was doing research??? I don't think so...

The apologist would say that this van is in the parking lot to hand out brochures and to beg sinners to stop sinning. Maybe they are there witnessing? NO, they are jerking off in the peep-show and causing the scum bucket guy to do some work.

Let's get real.

Peace...