A Nigerian Scammer joins "My Church" pt 1

This is quite an extensive read and story, I think though if you stick through to the end, you will not only be entertained but I hope educated as well:

My comments will be Bold and my replies to her will be in italics.

She actually JOINED my church. It's a long read, but I think worth the time.

Without Further Ado, the saga of Dr. Ms. Pimental Estrada et al.....

This one started out kinda fun, but I think you will enjoy the story

From: Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada

Metro-manila philippines

Dear Friend
Greetings and peace of the lord unto your household.
This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have
not met. The message could be strange but real, if you pay some attention
to it.
I could have notified you about it at least for the sake of your
integrity. Please accept my apologies in bringing this message of
goodwill to you; I have to say that I have no intention of causing you any
pain or harm.
I am Dr Luisa Pimentel Estrada, the wife of Joseph Ejercito Estrada,former
president of Philippines. I have children with my husband Jose, Jacqueline
and Jude.Two sons and a daugther.This mail may be coming to you as a
surprise or an article but it is very real. I will want you the receiver to
read through it and think very well if you can help or render us any
assistance.

My husband Joseph Ejercito estrada was elected as the 13thPresident of
the Philippines in May 1998 by the people of Philippines due his popularity
in the film industry made him to win the largest popularity in the history
of election in Philippines.He attained the position of Senate in 1987,then
vice-president in 1992 and later become the president 1998.My husband
was made mayor of his home town, San Juan in 1969 but it was 1972 that he
had a string of public successes. My husband was named one of the ten
Outstanding Young Men in Public Administration.He was also named Most Outstanding
Mayor and Foremost Nationalist and Most Outstanding Metro Manila Mayor.My
husband is recently accused of illegally acquireing some four Billion Peso
($80M)duringh is 31 months in office as President backed up by an
uprising of mass Demonstrators and SenateTraitors.They also said that he has
skimmed off tobacco excise taxes benefitting from government business deals.Most of
them benefitted from my h!usband’s generousity when he was in office.
But they just turned around to be the ones to impeach him.I have tried
every possible means to get him out of Detention without success.The Despotic
forces in power appear bent in deriding him rubbishing his achievements while freezing all his known Bank
accounts.He has been accused of economic plunder carrying the maximum penalty of
death.To the worst of it all,all other wives of my husband especailly Guia Gomez
and some of her children born outside wed lock are testifying against
us.In conjunction with the PCGG funded by the recent President Arroyo
Macapagal Gloria. These are some of the allegations filed before my husband in the
impeachment trial;
1. Gov. Luis Singson, a longtime friend of my husband, said he
provided my husband with more than $8million in payoffs from interesting gambling and
$2.7million from tobacco taxes.

2. Witnesses testify one of an account in the Philippines third largest
bankheld millions of dollars in bribes collected by my husband. Equitable
PCI Bank President George Go resigns. The banks senior vice president,
Clarissa Ocampo,said she saw my husband sign a false name to documents
withdrawing $10 million from a secret personal account.

3.On Dec 31 Five synchronized bomb attacks kill 22 people and injure
more than 120 in Manila, days before the trial is to return from holiday recess.
Police accuse Muslimrebels but many fear the bombs may be linked to
the trial.

4.That my husband received about $8.5 million in pay-offs from interesting
gambling operators.

5.That my husband participated in a real estate business controlled by
me  and my son Jose despite a prohibition on outside business interests
while in office.

My husband is presently suffering from bronchitis and emphysema and he
is been detained at the Veterans Memorial Medical Center in Quezon City
in hospital prison outside Manila where the life of my husband is in
danger.I will let you to know that it is political motivated by Gloria
Arroyo.Meanwhile,the government has said that it may drop rebellion
charges against my husband allies Senator Juan Ponce Enrile and the former
ambassador to the United State Ernesto Maceda because they were on the
side of my husband,both men were later jailed by the government of Gloria
Arroyo that they instigated a march on the presidential palace by 50,000 supporters of my husband.These are all political. All these are done to have my husband dead. Presently life has not been easy for my
children and I,my travelling documents have been seized by the government and they restricted me and my children to have access to my husband. You will get more details on the story through this links
Haven seen the way things are going with us.He decided to let me know
that he deposited some money with security companies in Asia and Europe.He
said that he deposited the sum of Eighteen Million United states Dollars
$18,000,000 in my name (Luisa Pimentel Estrada) in Europe, the money was
deposited with a security firm that transports valuable goods and consignments through diplomatic means. He declared that the consignment was solid gold and owned by his foreign business partner. Now I have
decided to start a new life with the money.I want to invest the money outside Philippines. What I am begging you is to assist me in receiving the money on my behalf.You will have to represent me in receiving the money
from the security company.I have discussed with the security company about this arrangement is I can not leave manila for now and they assured me that the money will be released to my representative.In
this regards,I have gone to collect the documents needed from Gomez Carlos who my husband kept the
documents with.If you are willing to assist me in receiving the money. I am contacting you because I want you to go to the security company and claim the money on my behalf since I have declared that the
consignment belong to my foreign business partner. You shall also be required to assist me in investment in your country. I hope to trust you as a God fearing person who will not sit on this money when you claim it, rather assist me properly, I am willing to offer you 25% of the funds for your sincere assistance. When I receive your positive response I will let you know where the security company is . For now, let all our
communication be by e-mail because my lines are right now connected to the Philippines Telecommunication Network services. Please do send me your private telephone/ fax number so that we can have a smooth communication. Please treat this vital information with maturity and sincerity. Your due coperation in this regards, will be duely appreciated. I look forward to your urgent reply.

Thank you and God bless us all.

Warmest Regards

Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.

So of course I answer, it was a creative ploy to say the least

Maam,

Thank you for your email. Iwould be interested in assisting you with your current plan. Please letme know how I can assist you and what the details of the transactionwill be. I currently do not have phone service due to the phone companyperforming maintenance on the lines in my city.

Thank you,

IP Standingup

Wow she jumped on me quick huh!!

Sir

Thanks for your mail.

Please all you have to do now is to startmaking arrangment to make a trip in Europe to represent me in receivingthe money from the security company on my behalf with the help of theDiploma.I have discussed with the security company about thisarrangement . since I have declared that the consignment belong to myforeign business partner. You shall also be required to assist me ininvestment in your country. I hope to trust you as a God fearing personwho will not sit on this money when you claim it, rather assist meproperly.

Finally, the contact of the security company and the nameof the Diploma shall be given to you as soon as i hear from you.
Yourdue coperation in this regards, will be duely appreciated. I lookforward to your urgent reply.

Thank you and God bless us all.

WarmestRegards

Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.

Nb: Please kindly forwardyour private telephone numbers to me.

Well, we know whats next right?

Maam,

I would be happy to makearrangements to fly to Europe to complete the transaction. Please tellme where I need to make arrangements to fly to. As to my personal numberI am very embarrassed to say this, but the phone company was not havingproblems with my line, I am deaf and can only communicate via TextPhoneor email. If you have a TextPhone I would be happy to communicate withyou that way. Please let me know if that would work for you? I doapologize for not informing you of that earlier, but I have found thatmany people find my handicap a weakness and I did not wish to appearweak to you.

god bless,

IPStandingup

Jeez! I can't type and she doesn't even notice!

Sir,

Thanks for your mail.Below is the information of thesecurity company,Address and the Name of the Diploma for yourpersual.

1) Name of the Security Company ** P : SECURITASDIRECT

2) BranchOffice Business Address Where the Consignment is **FURTHER STR, 115--116 DUSSELDORF, GERMANY

3) Diploma/ ContactPerson ** MR TONY MORRIS

4) Title ********** LOGISTIC MANEGER

5) E-Mail: **

Please writeto them immediately since Ihave declared that the consignment belong tomy foreign businesspartner.

Finally, i shall be forwarding yourinformation to them so that they can contact and give you an appointmentwhen to be in Germany.
Your due coperation in this regards, will beduelyappreciated. I look forward to your urgent reply.

Thank you andGodbless us all.

Warmest Regards

Dr. Mrs LuisaPimentelEstrada.

Well I wonder how I should respond?

Why should Ihave to contact them? They should contact me and let me know what I needto do to get the money? You have fowarded my information to themcorrect? I would hope that you were at least competent enough to do thatright? Why do I need to contact them? Do they not have the necessaryinformation to complete the transaction and have me fly to Germany tocollect the monies? Please tell me what the hell is going on here.

thanks.

Hmm, I wonder? will she get mad at me?

Sir,

Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that you are right.iknow that it is not mandatory that you should contact them but thesecurity company will contact you, but i just informed you be may youhave something to ask them before you will be contacted bythem.
Please kindly forgive me if i have done somethingwrong.
Finally, you will soon hear from them.
Ilook forward to yoururgent reply.

Thank you and God bless us all.

Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada

lol she just wants me to help her eh??

thank you for your swift reply to myquestion. That only reinforces my belief that you are an honest personand that this will go smoothly for us.

thankyou..

Well I do have to make her feel like I am interested right?

Sir,

Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify youthat the security company is asking for your full name to enable themcontact you.
Please sir, kindly forward immediately to me your fullname as been required by the security company
Ilook forward to yoururgent reply. Thank you

and God bless us all.

Dr.Mrs LuisaPimentel

Notice she FORGOT her last name lol
Now I didn't respond for a while, cuz I wanted her to stew, and whaddya know she writes again!

Sir,

Please i am still waiting to receiving your full name so that ican forward it to the security company today.
I look forward to yoururgent reply.

Thank you and God bless us.
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada

In comes the "security company"

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)

Sir,

We write to acknwoledge a Consignment deposited in our Security Company(P.Securitas Direct)by Mr Joseph Ejercito Estrada, in the beneficiary of her wife Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada of Philipines. And we would respond herewith as follows.

(1) That Mr. Joseph. E. Estrada has a trunk boxes deposited in our security company in the Beneficiary of her wife Mrs Luisa.P. Estrada,for further clearance by Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)As she wrote to us.

( 2)That his transaction script no; is referenced, No:BG/5077VGH/ETD
In line with logistics, we would require that;

(1) That You,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)whose name is labelled as the consignee Trustee presents a duly signed and stamped Power Of Attorney by Mrs Luisa .P. Estrada as he forward´s claim

( 2) That you presents an Authentic Identitiy card ,ie, Int. Passport and a Copy of Certificate of Deposite Issued by our Security Company (P.SECURITAS DIRECT)to Estrada Family.

(3) That you upon claim of this consignment, following documentation, shall pay a total sum of NINE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED EUROS (€9,500) for the diplomatic handling charges respectively as it affects Valuable delivery acts 1992 section 174 subsection 6-7 of the German Security Law.

Finally, we would advise you inform us of your travel arrangement, ie, flight schedule and date as we shall make all neccessary arrangement to pick and check you inn in a reserved hotel.This is in line with our esteeemed service of security to our numerous clients.

Thanks.
Yours Sincerely,

Tony Morris
For . P securitas
NB. Please, kindly forward to me your private telephone numbers

hmm where should I go from here? Also, didn't I tell them earlier that I don't use the phone?

Mr. Morris,

I do believe that the arrangements will be acceptable to me. I am however curious, how will I know you or someone from your firm? To that end, I need you to send me a picture of yourself holding the Password which is: "Seaman Stained Briefs". Once I receive the photo, I will inform you of my travel and lodging arrangements. I think this is more than fair, do you not agree?

Thanks bunches,

IP Standingup

Gee, I am only asking for one photo right?

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)
Sir,

I am in receipt of your mail and i wish to let you know that once you notify us of your flight schedule and date we shall them let you know how you will recognized us.Please do notify us in time because you are advise to be in Germany by next week wednesday as to enable us make all neccessary arrangement to pick and check you inn in a reserved hotel.This is in line with our esteeemed service of security to our numerous clients.

Sir, you don't need to make any arrangement for your lodging arrangements that will be taking care of by us.
Finally, please you are advised to route your flight to DUSSELDORF AIRPORT GERMANY because the is the 2nd international airport in Germany and has a direct flight from USA.

We looking forward to receiving your flight Schedule soonest.

Thanks.
Yours Sincerely

Tony Morris
For.P.Securitas.

And He IGNORED MY REQUEST!! THE BASTARD!

Thank you for your email.

I am just a bit nervous about coming to Germany without knowing who or where I will be staying with. I need you to send me the picture that I asked for with the Password in the picture and then I will inform you of my travel arrangements so that we can conclude our business. If you cannot send me the picture, which is a small request, then I will simply refuse to finish our business and move on with other opportunities.
get back to me with the picture and we can conclude our business by Tuesday at the latest next week.

Thanks,

IP Standingup

So I ask for it again

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)
Sir,
I am in receipt of your mail and as demanded, below is the attached picture you requested for.
Listen, When you send your ticket confirmation , we can book your hotel reservation. And on your arrival you will meet me at the airport, Holding your sign board as you have demanded this is only in the Airport.
Please , kindly send me your own picture immediately for identification.

Finally, make sure you route your flight to DUSSELDORF AIRPORT GERMANY because this is the 2nd international airport in Germany and has a direct flight from USA.
We look forward to receiving your flight Schedule soonest.

Thanks.
Yours Sincerely

Tony Morris
For.P.Securitas.

well, at the airport ok, but I want a photo, not some scanned one from a magazine. I no longer have the photo or I would post it here.

the picture does not contain the Password. I require the Password in order for me to send you the flight information so that I can make sure of whom I am doing business with. Send me the picture with the Password on a sign in with you. The Password is: "Seaman Stained Briefs"

Thanks,

IP Standingup

now they get a bit irritated with me I think

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)
Sir,

Thanks for your mail.Please how do mean by Password and what does it got to do with this?Please i don't understand.Does it mean that you are not satisfied with my picture
Please kindly adhear to my directives everyother information shall be given to you as soon as we confirm your flight information.
We look forward to receiving your flight schedule soonest.

Yours Sincerely

Tony Morris

For.P.Securitas

No I wasn't lets see if I can push their buttons
here comes the good Dr again

Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup
Sir,

How are youtoday?
Sir,

what is going between you and the security company?Pleasesir, do everything at your reach and power to ensure that you my familyand i to collect the consignment from the security company.As ia mwriting to you now we are passing through hell, hunger etc.
Pleasesir, kindly notify me when you will be in Germany.
Ilook forward toyour urgent reply.

Thank you and God bless us all.

Dr.Mrs LuisaPimentel Estrada

now I fire off my demand to the Security company again

I appreciate what you are saying. But, I don't think you are understanding what I mean. I need you to send me a photo BEFORE I get to Germany with the password on the sign in the photo. If you cannot do this, I will NOT fly to Germany and I will NOT take posession of the consignment. I think this is a simple request, and I am sure you will comply if you want me to finish our business. I have set aside a rather large sum of money for this trip and your fees, and I do not enjoy being taken lightly. Comply with my simple requirement and we can complete this business ASAP.

Thanks bunches,

IP Standingup

I think they are a bit confused

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)
Sir,

Thanks for your mail.
Could you please show me an example of what exactly you want me to do with your picture so that i can do it for you.

Thanks.
Yours Sincerely

Tony Morris
For.P.Securitas.

you would think it was a simple request wouldnt' you?
now the Dr sends me her ID obviously fake but hey she tried right?

Attn: Mr Ignacious Pantieshoes Standingup
Sir
Thanks for your mail and as requested, attached here is my identity for
your persual.
I look forward to your urgent reply.

Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards

Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada

watch how I respond to this one!

Ms. Estrada,

I am getting the idea that you don't want tocomplete this transaction. I don't think you are truly serious aboutdoing this, and this raises some large doubts about you and yoursituation. I ASKED YOU FOR A PHOTO OF YOU CONTAINING THE password, NOTSOME DAMN ID CARD! I expect to see the photo of you holding a sign withthe password "Seaman Stained Briefs" If your next email does not containthis photo, I will discontinue our business and you can KISS MY ASS! Itis a simple request so fulfill it MORON! I make this request because Iwant to make sure that I am truly talking to you and not some damnUgandan scammer.

Thanks Bunches,

IPStandingup

hehe, now she really is confused

Attn: Mr Ignacious Pantieshoes Standingup
Sir

Thanks foryour mail.Please i don't like the way you are talking to me.Please idon't like anything that will stress my life.Please, you can discontinuebecause i can not comply to your wish reason is because i am under housearrest but always remember that one good turn deserve another.

Thankyou and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards

Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada

so of course I don't want to give up my demands

ok,

You areunder house arrest, but have access to a computer correct? so you cantake the picture I requested or I can discontinue our business. It'sthat simple, comply or we are finished.


thanks,

IPStandingup

I think she is really upset with me now

Attn: Mr Ignacious Pantieshoes Standingup
Sir

Thanks for yourmail.Please, i can not comply and you can go ahead and discontinue ourbusiness.
Try to remember and understand that in this world that onegood turn deserve another.

Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada

A really bad attempt at a guilt trip I think
So I finally send the email again to the Security company

Mr. Morris,

What I want you to do is have a picture taken of yourself holding a sign with the phrase printed on the sign. Basically, I want you to write the phrase on a sign and then have your picture taken holding it, then send the picture to me. I hope that I have made it clear exactly what I am looking for.

thanks bunches,

IP Standingup

Now he thinks throwing an insult at me will help him out

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)
Sir,

Thanks for your mail.
I do not really understand a man like you, you really sound stupid in most of emails.
Listen, if you are not ready to get this package cleared do let me know so that i will inform madam.Don't be too smart thinking you could lead me into tarnishing my image in my company and afterwards losing my busniess just to satisfy you Thanks.

Yours Sincerely

Tony Morris
For.P.Securitas.

hmm how should I respond?
Now I respond to the doctor one with a scathing email and two to introduce a new character to them

Mrs. SLUTSTRADA,

I HAVE A REALLY HARD TIME BELIEVING THAT YOU ARE UNDER HOUSE ARREST AND THAT YOU CANNOT GET A PICTURE TAKEN! YOU CAN CONTACT A CLEARING HOUSE TO MOVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT, SEND OUT EMAIL, SCAN A COPY OF YOUR "ID" BUT YOU CANNOT TAKE A PICTURE? LOL YOU MUST THINK THAT I AM A REALLY "STUPID AMERICAN" JESUS, YOU DON'T THINK THAT THE REASON I ASKED FOR A PHOTO WAS BECAUSE THE ID YOU SENT ME WAS A COMPLETE FAKE? I AM NOT STUPID, I DO KNOW HOW PAINT SHOP WORKS KID!

SO TAKE YOUR SCAM AND FUCK OFF!! I DON'T NEED TO WASTE ANY MORE TIME ON YOU OR YOUR PRETEND CLEARING HOUSE, WHOSE IP ADDRESS IS THE SAME AS YOURS! GOD YOU MUST REALLY THINK THAT WE ARE ALL STUPID HERE. I AM GLAD I WASTED YOUR STINKY CUNTS TIME AND HOPE THAT YOU CAN SUCK MY COCK IN THE AFTERLIFE YOU USELESS PIECE OF DONKEY MINGE! FUCK OFF AND DIE, JUST FUCK OFF!!

FUCK OFF FOREVER!

IP STANDINGUP

lol now that should get her goat eh?
and of course I have to send another email to the company as well

Mr Curtis,

I have decided if you cannot provide some simple proof of whom you are then, I will not be doing business with you. It sounds to me like you are not truly interested in completing this transaction. I could be on a flight to Germany tonight to collect the consignment, but you are not willing to comply with one simple request! Send me the picture, or do not contact me again. I am a very busy person and don't have time for your bullshit! Obviously, you don't want my $9,500 very much do you?? so if I don't see the picture fuck OFF!!

Phallically yours,

IP Standingup

you would think they would get a hint right?

P:SECURITAS DIRECT
FURTHER STR, 115
DUSSELDORF GERMANY

Dear,Mr Ignacious Pantishoes Standingup(USA)
Sir,

Thanks for your mail. Obviously,we are not after your money.What we are after is to know if you were one of the spies madam is talking about.Please, you can call off the transaction if you are not ready to adhear to our directives.We tell you what to do and not you telling us what to do.

Thanks.

Yours Sincerely

Tony Morris
For.P.Securitas.