This is an interesting argument I found on Infidels.org. I would suggest visiting and reading much of what they post there. It's very enlightening..
In two places in the New Testament the genealogy of Jesus son of Mary is mentioned. MAT 1:6-16 and LUK 3:23-31. Each gives the ancestors of Joseph the CLAIMED husband of Mary and Step father of Jesus. The first one starts from Abraham(verse 2) all the way down to Jesus. The second one from Jesus all the way back to Adam. The only common name to these two lists between David and Jesus is JOSEPH, How can this be true? and also How can Jesus have a genealogy when all Muslims and most Christians believe that Jesus had/has no father?
It seems to me that God can't even get his own "sons" genealogy correct. If they can't get the supposed most important person to their faiths heritage correct, how can you trust that the rest of the bible is anything but fantasy?
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Jesus. Did he exist? Where was he born?
I have been thinking on this for a while. Doing lots of reading and studying to see just what I could find out. My conclusions are as follows:
1. - I have come to the conclusion that someone named Jesus did exist at some point. Much like Mohammad and Buddha there is just too much empirical evidence to deny that a person named Jesus did exist.
2. - Jesus was NOT a son of a supreme being. He was an enigmatic philosopher that had a lot of good ideas, many of them borrowed from other cultures and religious foundations. Still in all, they were good ideas and decent philosophies to live by. Golden rule etc.
3. - There is no empirical data showing that Jesus came back to life after being hung on the cross with other criminals ( he was considered a criminal since many of his ideas and his claim to be the son of god were considered blasphemous at the time ). The Shroud of Turin has been shown to be a forgery so there is no actual data showing anything of Jesus or anyone else being resurrected.
4. - The biblical story of him being born in Bethlehem cannot be verified. The date of his birth is in doubt and since there is no biblical connection (IE books by Jesus) in the Bible we can only assume that either he was illiterate or his ideas that he did write were too radical for the Bible. Since his birthplace cannot be verified as well as the date of birth, we have to assume that he was not the son of god as stated earlier. If he were the son of god as claimed, his place of birth and date should have been well known and documented in more that just a minor passage in one book.
5. - Proof of miracles. There isn't any. Just the word of someone that saw something or thought they saw something. You would logically think that if he were performing ACTUAL miracles, there would be independent corroborating stories and witnesses of these "miracles". There isn't any.
After all this thought and consideration I have come to the conclusion that someone named Jesus Christ did exist at some point in the distant past. Much like David Koresh and the Branch Dravidian's or the Heaven's Gate cult or Jones town he lead a group of people and preached a set of values. His 'cult' lasted much longer but is still just that, to borrow a term from the band Living Colour, he had a great "cult of personality".
Was he the 'son of god' -- No.
Did he perform miracles? -- Nothing can be substantiated so, no he did not.
Did he rise from the grave? -- eww Creepy. No he did not.
Was he an enigmatic philosopher with a cult following? -- Yes, from all the evidence I believe he was.
Feel free to disagree with me. Or, conversely agree.
1. - I have come to the conclusion that someone named Jesus did exist at some point. Much like Mohammad and Buddha there is just too much empirical evidence to deny that a person named Jesus did exist.
2. - Jesus was NOT a son of a supreme being. He was an enigmatic philosopher that had a lot of good ideas, many of them borrowed from other cultures and religious foundations. Still in all, they were good ideas and decent philosophies to live by. Golden rule etc.
3. - There is no empirical data showing that Jesus came back to life after being hung on the cross with other criminals ( he was considered a criminal since many of his ideas and his claim to be the son of god were considered blasphemous at the time ). The Shroud of Turin has been shown to be a forgery so there is no actual data showing anything of Jesus or anyone else being resurrected.
4. - The biblical story of him being born in Bethlehem cannot be verified. The date of his birth is in doubt and since there is no biblical connection (IE books by Jesus) in the Bible we can only assume that either he was illiterate or his ideas that he did write were too radical for the Bible. Since his birthplace cannot be verified as well as the date of birth, we have to assume that he was not the son of god as stated earlier. If he were the son of god as claimed, his place of birth and date should have been well known and documented in more that just a minor passage in one book.
5. - Proof of miracles. There isn't any. Just the word of someone that saw something or thought they saw something. You would logically think that if he were performing ACTUAL miracles, there would be independent corroborating stories and witnesses of these "miracles". There isn't any.
After all this thought and consideration I have come to the conclusion that someone named Jesus Christ did exist at some point in the distant past. Much like David Koresh and the Branch Dravidian's or the Heaven's Gate cult or Jones town he lead a group of people and preached a set of values. His 'cult' lasted much longer but is still just that, to borrow a term from the band Living Colour, he had a great "cult of personality".
Was he the 'son of god' -- No.
Did he perform miracles? -- Nothing can be substantiated so, no he did not.
Did he rise from the grave? -- eww Creepy. No he did not.
Was he an enigmatic philosopher with a cult following? -- Yes, from all the evidence I believe he was.
Feel free to disagree with me. Or, conversely agree.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Did the Biblical prophets talk to god?
This question has vexed me recently. Not so much because I am concerned that maybe the "prophets" of the bible talked to god, but more so from the point of reference that they BELIEVE they talked to someone or something.
Here is my take on this:
They did NOT talk to god. At least NOT the god that they describe in the bible. What I think they did was talk to someone that due to their TECHNOLOGY appeared to be "god-like" to them and therefore god in their eyes. Was this being god? I don't believe so. I am going to put forward a theory that what these folks 2000+ years ago saw and talked to were visitors from somewhere else.
These visitors came here, met different people on different continents and in different cultures and in ALL cases were described as beings 'descending from out of the sky on chariots of fire' etc. These encounters are consistently described in much the same way across time-lines and cultural divides.
Before you discount this theory, think about this: If YOU were ancient man with NO understanding of technology outside of what you can make with your two hands out of rudimentary equipment with the highest technology you have being possibly Bronze metallurgy. Then you see a "pillar of light and fire" and from out of that fire a being emerges with bright light flooding from behind them. There is a loud sound like thunder (the crafts engines) and the being speaks to you.
How would you with your limited knowledge of the world and technology, never having read anything remotely close to sci-fi or fantasy. Hell, you probably can barely read your own language. How do you describe what happens? You probably equate it to what YOU know which would be a 'god theory' or experience.
This brings me to miracles. Specifically walking on water. You can walk on water. Is it a miracle? No, it's simple physics. If you can move quickly enough over the surface of the water, not breaking the surface tension on the top layer you will APPEAR to walk on water. If you would like an example of this google straw mats walking on water and you will see what I mean. You can do it if you have the right equipment in the right environment. Water is after all a non-Newtonian fluid.
What do you think?
Could it have been aliens in the bible and other cultures and not really a supreme being?
How do you explain it?
Here is my take on this:
They did NOT talk to god. At least NOT the god that they describe in the bible. What I think they did was talk to someone that due to their TECHNOLOGY appeared to be "god-like" to them and therefore god in their eyes. Was this being god? I don't believe so. I am going to put forward a theory that what these folks 2000+ years ago saw and talked to were visitors from somewhere else.
These visitors came here, met different people on different continents and in different cultures and in ALL cases were described as beings 'descending from out of the sky on chariots of fire' etc. These encounters are consistently described in much the same way across time-lines and cultural divides.
Before you discount this theory, think about this: If YOU were ancient man with NO understanding of technology outside of what you can make with your two hands out of rudimentary equipment with the highest technology you have being possibly Bronze metallurgy. Then you see a "pillar of light and fire" and from out of that fire a being emerges with bright light flooding from behind them. There is a loud sound like thunder (the crafts engines) and the being speaks to you.
How would you with your limited knowledge of the world and technology, never having read anything remotely close to sci-fi or fantasy. Hell, you probably can barely read your own language. How do you describe what happens? You probably equate it to what YOU know which would be a 'god theory' or experience.
This brings me to miracles. Specifically walking on water. You can walk on water. Is it a miracle? No, it's simple physics. If you can move quickly enough over the surface of the water, not breaking the surface tension on the top layer you will APPEAR to walk on water. If you would like an example of this google straw mats walking on water and you will see what I mean. You can do it if you have the right equipment in the right environment. Water is after all a non-Newtonian fluid.
What do you think?
Could it have been aliens in the bible and other cultures and not really a supreme being?
How do you explain it?
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Reason Rally!
Yes!
Today is the Reason Rally in Washington D.C.
I wish I were able to attend as it would have been very cool to be there among the masses of Logical and intelligent folk rallying for reason in our nations capital. Unfortunately, economics and work precluded me from attending.
I did read a refreshing piece on the rally on Faux News of all places. I have to say I was a bit surprised that they would even have run the piece given their proclivity for only reporting on the 'right' side of politics.
Thank you Faux News for running the piece by David Niose it's much appreciated.
Today is the Reason Rally in Washington D.C.
I wish I were able to attend as it would have been very cool to be there among the masses of Logical and intelligent folk rallying for reason in our nations capital. Unfortunately, economics and work precluded me from attending.
I did read a refreshing piece on the rally on Faux News of all places. I have to say I was a bit surprised that they would even have run the piece given their proclivity for only reporting on the 'right' side of politics.
Thank you Faux News for running the piece by David Niose it's much appreciated.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Prayer in school? Take off your clothes first!
Wow. All I can say is wow.
A family in Philadelphia got upset at the school and disrobed in the parking lot and prayed. They didn't get divine intervention, Jesus didn't save them, God didn't come down and make the school officials do what the mother wanted. The POLICE did come and arrest them for being nude in public and trespassing.
Here is the story if you care to read it.
Hmm.
Is this an argument FOR prayer in school?
Would having prayer in school kept this from happening?
I don't think so.
Just more proof that religion is for CRAZY people. Logical, intelligent people don't strip down and pray to thier imaginary friends, we DISCUSS the issue with the parties involved and come to a logical and fair solution.
Just more Christian craziness.
A family in Philadelphia got upset at the school and disrobed in the parking lot and prayed. They didn't get divine intervention, Jesus didn't save them, God didn't come down and make the school officials do what the mother wanted. The POLICE did come and arrest them for being nude in public and trespassing.
Here is the story if you care to read it.
Hmm.
Is this an argument FOR prayer in school?
Would having prayer in school kept this from happening?
I don't think so.
Just more proof that religion is for CRAZY people. Logical, intelligent people don't strip down and pray to thier imaginary friends, we DISCUSS the issue with the parties involved and come to a logical and fair solution.
Just more Christian craziness.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
PROOF: One more link in the Evolutionary Chain!
This is absolutely AMAZING!
I wonder how Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron fight THIS PROOF!
Oh wait, I can guess...... The devil planted the ENTIRE civilization!
Do you think the Devil did it?
Do you think it's proof of Evolution?
Tell me, I really would love to know what you think.
I wonder how Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron fight THIS PROOF!
Oh wait, I can guess...... The devil planted the ENTIRE civilization!
Do you think the Devil did it?
Do you think it's proof of Evolution?
Tell me, I really would love to know what you think.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Is Atheism a religion?
This fellow's opinion is interesting if not a bit screwy. I found him while trolling the interwebz for interesting stories and opinions about a myriad of things. Honestly I just pull up my google news feed and read all kinds of interesting stuff. His entire opinion piece is posted here if you would like to read it. As always, I don't cherry pick, I give you all the facts and if you disagree, feel free to do so.
His arguements though I think designed to fire up Atheists are fairly weak and like I said contrived more to get some talking going. I like to call pieces like this "opinion trolling".
His main argument is: "The cornerstone of the belief system is that there are no Gods or anything else supernatural or spiritual and that no non-Atheist understands Atheism."
This in and of itself is incorrect. It is NOT a belief system so much as it is a system of understanding based on empirical data and a patent lack of proof that there is a supreme being that controls the universe. I have to give the guy credit though. He does make for an entertaining read.
Do you agree with him?
Do you agree with me?
Where do you stand?
His arguements though I think designed to fire up Atheists are fairly weak and like I said contrived more to get some talking going. I like to call pieces like this "opinion trolling".
His main argument is: "The cornerstone of the belief system is that there are no Gods or anything else supernatural or spiritual and that no non-Atheist understands Atheism."
This in and of itself is incorrect. It is NOT a belief system so much as it is a system of understanding based on empirical data and a patent lack of proof that there is a supreme being that controls the universe. I have to give the guy credit though. He does make for an entertaining read.
Do you agree with him?
Do you agree with me?
Where do you stand?
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Christian apologist arguing god with an atheist
While surfing the Interwebz I came across this great site for entertainment value only in my eyes. It's The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry. Essentially they are there to make excuses and try to refute ALL other belief structures as wrong and or incorrect. I found a post there between one of the apologetics and an atheist. I am posting it here and will put my responses in BOLD to the conversation below.
This atheist actually believed he knew for a fact that there was no God. I found that position to be interesting and, quite honestly, not possible. Of course you did, you will say anything to get people to believe in your illogical and ill conceived notions of there being a magic man in the sky.
Also, he and I discussed faith a bit towards the end.
Atheist: As to religious arguments I haven't found one that can stand up to the logic of atheism.
Matt: Are you a strong atheist or a weak one? An atheist is an atheist. A theist is a theist. What is the necessity of ranking them other than to prove an illogical argument?
Atheist: Never heard of a weak atheist. EXACTLY!
Matt: I’ll explain. A strong atheist states that there is no God. He knows there is no God. A weak atheist, basically, 'lacks belief' in a god of any sort. So conversely, a strong Christian knows they ARE a sinner and a weak Christian just thinks they "might be."? Stupid if you ask me.
Atheist: Then I am a strong atheist. Don't buy into his crap. Just say "I am an Atheist. No additional definitions needed."
Matt: Then you know there is no God? We all there is NO God, just like we know there isn't an Easter Bunny.
Atheist: As much as knowledge can tell us yes..Maybe it's you who have to catch up on your atheism... Agnostic fits the description pretty well of a weak atheist... Maybe he also needs to catch up logic, reason and intelligent debate.
Matt: That is what I said...which are you?
Atheist: I am a strong. Characteristic human thought, coupled with hope is what religion boils down to, the unexplained tried to be explained...
Matt: So, you know there is no god?
Atheist: Yes.
Matt: How can you know that?
Atheist: It's a reasonable assumption. If you want a definitive answer. Does any Christian bother to look in the dictionary to what truth actually means? There is no 100% anything. Only close to it. Why oh why did you go there? This will just feed his argument. Honestly, just state the facts, you will NEVER convice this guy of anything.
Matt: Then you cannot KNOW there is no God. Your strong atheism is illogical. No, belief in a magic man in the sky THAT is illogical.
Atheist: Let's look at Christianity. It runs on faith. Faith is not logical. It gives credence to unicorns, goblins and thing s that go bump in the night. Exactly.
Matt: Nope. The subject is your atheism. Please don't try to change the subject. Oh, he doesn't want to defend belief in god, he just wants to attack a non-believer. Typical.
Atheist: The subject can jump where ever.
Matt: Your atheism is illogical. You cannot know there is no God. To do that, you'd have to know All things to know there is no God. And conversely, you would have to know the same to know that there IS. Your argument is illogical as well. Using YOUR logic we must believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
Atheist: I will defend, but also place in attack. Try to defend faith
Matt: One subject at a time....You'd have to have seen all evidences to know there is no God. You cannot claim this, therefore, your atheism is illogical. Seriously? that is your argument?
Atheist: You can never see all evidences but that does not mean there is a god.
Matt: Correct.
Atheist: No, that means there is not enough information for a conclusion. So we make assumptions as best we can according to our knowledge...
Matt: But you must concede that your claim to strong atheism (that you know there is no God) is not logical. You gave the definition which is ridiculous on its face therefore your entire premise is not only illogical but moronic.
Atheist: My knowledge of the human brain leads me to believe there is no god...
Matt: Then that means there MIGHT be a God, because you don't know all the evidence. Therefore, you must logically be an agnostic. Why the word play? Because you CANNOT defend the position that there IS a god. Why can't you? Because there isn't. You can't prove there is and so you attack using word games to cover your own ineptitude.
Atheist: And so must you... But you picked a side.
Matt: Then it [your atheism] is not logical, but only assumptions you base your atheism on. Your atheism is untenable.... You must admit that agnosticism is more logically viable. If you admit that, we can discuss my faith. Ahh now it comes out. Your entire argument is to get someone to admit something they don't believe so you can SHOVE your beliefs at them and hope they accept it. Poor strategy my friend, poor strategy.
Atheist: I'm not ignorant to say I don't use faith. But only the usage of faith in a situation that remains provable.
Matt: So, are you agnostic or atheist? which is it?
Atheist: Atheist.
Matt: You've lost the argument. Sorry... It's a one sided argument, of course he lost. He lost before it started since you as the instigator set the rules without letting him know what they were! Just like your magic man in the sky. You change the rules when it suits you.
Atheist: Wrong. What you're doing is a ploy. You bring me over.. but you stay the same. Either you must move over as well or the argument is mute in the first place. One can not keep faith and call his beliefs logical. For a bit I will stray over to the agnostic side. But I am willing to state instances where I believe prove my contention that there is no god. Nice my friend, nice.
Matt: You have been cornered.... It is not logical for you to claim strong atheism. You have not seen all the facts. Therefore, the possibility of God's existence is real. Therefore, you must admit that agnosticism is more logical in this situation. Alright, Let's talk faith. What? You have done nothing but talk in circles. Nothing you have said is logical or in any way pulls anyone toward your argument. You simply cloud the issue to forward your own agenda.
Atheist: Alright faith. you first.
Matt: I believe God exists. I have faith that he exists. Of course you do. How else do you explain unicorns, santa claus, and the easter bunny?
Atheist: Proof.
Matt: I have none. So you admit you are a WEAK Christian? hahaha. Argument lost according to your rules.
Atheist: No proof with faith. So, do you always believe in things that you can not prove? I see where you are going. I doubt he will let it go that way though.
Matt: No... not at all... I have evidences, but they cannot lead to 100% proof or else all could be forced to believe. But, if there is enough evidence, I do believe. Again, you are a Weak Christian!
Atheist: So you must be agnostic in that sense as well.
Matt: No... because I make choices. Though it is possible for my faith to be proven wrong, I still rest on the evidences and draw logical conclusions. Faith in a magic man in the sky is illogical. Therefore your faith is illogical and your arguments are silly and worthless.
Atheist: Evidence....
Matt: Yes.... And that evidence would be what?
Atheist: Then you disregard one of the most fundamental rules of the game...
Matt: Which is?
Atheist: "Where ever knowledge is incomplete, there is a place for "faith;" but where ever knowledge and "faith" conflict, it is "faith" which must be modified or abandoned." Exactly.
Matt: Or the understanding must be reevaluated.... 'Facts' have been found to be wrong before. Very true, the Earth is indeed a sphere.
Atheist: Facts are not Truths. They are reasonable assumptions. I will get a dictionary definition for that one...
Matt: That's fine. So what about it? What kind of evidence would be sufficient for you to conclude there is a god? Oh, I don't know. Meeting God would be a good start.
Atheist: Fact - Reality or actuality as distinguished to from conjecture or fantasy; Something known by observation or experience to be true or real.
Matt: That's good.... Now... what would constitute evidence for God's existence? Meeting God. Hearing a chorus of angels etc.
Atheist: An instance of superiority... Something humans could not do.. OR not be able to explained through phenomena but event then... You mean like a giant hand coming out of the sky.
Matt: That's good... now... what would constitute evidence for God's existence? Gods hand coming out of the heavens for the world to see.
Atheist: A universal movement. A stoppage of the planet. Nothing earthly. nice.
Matt: If that were to happen, would you conclude there was a god? Couldn't it be explained in other ways? No. I would not conclude there was a god till I met him or her.
Atheist: I would of course doubt it at first. I would look for an explanation... And for something like that I would probably find no reasonable explanation..
Matt: If you had could not find one, what would you conclude? Would you conclude that there is a god? or that you simply don't have all the facts?
Atheist: You never have all of the facts... Reasonable assumptions, remember?
Matt: Then you could not safely conclude it was the hand of God, could you?
Atheist: Nope. that would be the only explanation that I could think of that would have the three means, opportunity. (forget motive) [I did not understand him here...]
Matt: Then you couldn't know anything for sure, right? That is, if you don't have all the facts, all of them.
Atheist: Haven't we already agreed you can never have all the facts?
Matt: What you are telling me is that you have no real way of proving or disproving God. So then, doesn't it come down to faith based upon evidence? I have evidence.... You can't have evidence. Of course you will claim something silly like weather, trees or people. Maybe even resort to the BuyBull but we all know that is smoke and mirrors.
Atheist: I have to go. Friends just arrived. Can we finish this later?
Matt: If you want....
I'm not sure how it went with this atheist. But I hope some seeds were planted.
They weren't I am sure he left irritated and frustrated with your complete lack of logic and intelligent debate. Talking in circles NEVER got anyone anywhere. Enjoy spinning your wheels Matt.
I will be following up with more posts and hopefully I will get the opportunity to debate with this fellow soon......
This atheist actually believed he knew for a fact that there was no God. I found that position to be interesting and, quite honestly, not possible. Of course you did, you will say anything to get people to believe in your illogical and ill conceived notions of there being a magic man in the sky.
Also, he and I discussed faith a bit towards the end.
Atheist: As to religious arguments I haven't found one that can stand up to the logic of atheism.
Matt: Are you a strong atheist or a weak one? An atheist is an atheist. A theist is a theist. What is the necessity of ranking them other than to prove an illogical argument?
Atheist: Never heard of a weak atheist. EXACTLY!
Matt: I’ll explain. A strong atheist states that there is no God. He knows there is no God. A weak atheist, basically, 'lacks belief' in a god of any sort. So conversely, a strong Christian knows they ARE a sinner and a weak Christian just thinks they "might be."? Stupid if you ask me.
Atheist: Then I am a strong atheist. Don't buy into his crap. Just say "I am an Atheist. No additional definitions needed."
Matt: Then you know there is no God? We all there is NO God, just like we know there isn't an Easter Bunny.
Atheist: As much as knowledge can tell us yes..Maybe it's you who have to catch up on your atheism... Agnostic fits the description pretty well of a weak atheist... Maybe he also needs to catch up logic, reason and intelligent debate.
Matt: That is what I said...which are you?
Atheist: I am a strong. Characteristic human thought, coupled with hope is what religion boils down to, the unexplained tried to be explained...
Matt: So, you know there is no god?
Atheist: Yes.
Matt: How can you know that?
Atheist: It's a reasonable assumption. If you want a definitive answer. Does any Christian bother to look in the dictionary to what truth actually means? There is no 100% anything. Only close to it. Why oh why did you go there? This will just feed his argument. Honestly, just state the facts, you will NEVER convice this guy of anything.
Matt: Then you cannot KNOW there is no God. Your strong atheism is illogical. No, belief in a magic man in the sky THAT is illogical.
Atheist: Let's look at Christianity. It runs on faith. Faith is not logical. It gives credence to unicorns, goblins and thing s that go bump in the night. Exactly.
Matt: Nope. The subject is your atheism. Please don't try to change the subject. Oh, he doesn't want to defend belief in god, he just wants to attack a non-believer. Typical.
Atheist: The subject can jump where ever.
Matt: Your atheism is illogical. You cannot know there is no God. To do that, you'd have to know All things to know there is no God. And conversely, you would have to know the same to know that there IS. Your argument is illogical as well. Using YOUR logic we must believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
Atheist: I will defend, but also place in attack. Try to defend faith
Matt: One subject at a time....You'd have to have seen all evidences to know there is no God. You cannot claim this, therefore, your atheism is illogical. Seriously? that is your argument?
Atheist: You can never see all evidences but that does not mean there is a god.
Matt: Correct.
Atheist: No, that means there is not enough information for a conclusion. So we make assumptions as best we can according to our knowledge...
Matt: But you must concede that your claim to strong atheism (that you know there is no God) is not logical. You gave the definition which is ridiculous on its face therefore your entire premise is not only illogical but moronic.
Atheist: My knowledge of the human brain leads me to believe there is no god...
Matt: Then that means there MIGHT be a God, because you don't know all the evidence. Therefore, you must logically be an agnostic. Why the word play? Because you CANNOT defend the position that there IS a god. Why can't you? Because there isn't. You can't prove there is and so you attack using word games to cover your own ineptitude.
Atheist: And so must you... But you picked a side.
Matt: Then it [your atheism] is not logical, but only assumptions you base your atheism on. Your atheism is untenable.... You must admit that agnosticism is more logically viable. If you admit that, we can discuss my faith. Ahh now it comes out. Your entire argument is to get someone to admit something they don't believe so you can SHOVE your beliefs at them and hope they accept it. Poor strategy my friend, poor strategy.
Atheist: I'm not ignorant to say I don't use faith. But only the usage of faith in a situation that remains provable.
Matt: So, are you agnostic or atheist? which is it?
Atheist: Atheist.
Matt: You've lost the argument. Sorry... It's a one sided argument, of course he lost. He lost before it started since you as the instigator set the rules without letting him know what they were! Just like your magic man in the sky. You change the rules when it suits you.
Atheist: Wrong. What you're doing is a ploy. You bring me over.. but you stay the same. Either you must move over as well or the argument is mute in the first place. One can not keep faith and call his beliefs logical. For a bit I will stray over to the agnostic side. But I am willing to state instances where I believe prove my contention that there is no god. Nice my friend, nice.
Matt: You have been cornered.... It is not logical for you to claim strong atheism. You have not seen all the facts. Therefore, the possibility of God's existence is real. Therefore, you must admit that agnosticism is more logical in this situation. Alright, Let's talk faith. What? You have done nothing but talk in circles. Nothing you have said is logical or in any way pulls anyone toward your argument. You simply cloud the issue to forward your own agenda.
Atheist: Alright faith. you first.
Matt: I believe God exists. I have faith that he exists. Of course you do. How else do you explain unicorns, santa claus, and the easter bunny?
Atheist: Proof.
Matt: I have none. So you admit you are a WEAK Christian? hahaha. Argument lost according to your rules.
Atheist: No proof with faith. So, do you always believe in things that you can not prove? I see where you are going. I doubt he will let it go that way though.
Matt: No... not at all... I have evidences, but they cannot lead to 100% proof or else all could be forced to believe. But, if there is enough evidence, I do believe. Again, you are a Weak Christian!
Atheist: So you must be agnostic in that sense as well.
Matt: No... because I make choices. Though it is possible for my faith to be proven wrong, I still rest on the evidences and draw logical conclusions. Faith in a magic man in the sky is illogical. Therefore your faith is illogical and your arguments are silly and worthless.
Atheist: Evidence....
Matt: Yes.... And that evidence would be what?
Atheist: Then you disregard one of the most fundamental rules of the game...
Matt: Which is?
Atheist: "Where ever knowledge is incomplete, there is a place for "faith;" but where ever knowledge and "faith" conflict, it is "faith" which must be modified or abandoned." Exactly.
Matt: Or the understanding must be reevaluated.... 'Facts' have been found to be wrong before. Very true, the Earth is indeed a sphere.
Atheist: Facts are not Truths. They are reasonable assumptions. I will get a dictionary definition for that one...
Matt: That's fine. So what about it? What kind of evidence would be sufficient for you to conclude there is a god? Oh, I don't know. Meeting God would be a good start.
Atheist: Fact - Reality or actuality as distinguished to from conjecture or fantasy; Something known by observation or experience to be true or real.
Matt: That's good.... Now... what would constitute evidence for God's existence? Meeting God. Hearing a chorus of angels etc.
Atheist: An instance of superiority... Something humans could not do.. OR not be able to explained through phenomena but event then... You mean like a giant hand coming out of the sky.
Matt: That's good... now... what would constitute evidence for God's existence? Gods hand coming out of the heavens for the world to see.
Atheist: A universal movement. A stoppage of the planet. Nothing earthly. nice.
Matt: If that were to happen, would you conclude there was a god? Couldn't it be explained in other ways? No. I would not conclude there was a god till I met him or her.
Atheist: I would of course doubt it at first. I would look for an explanation... And for something like that I would probably find no reasonable explanation..
Matt: If you had could not find one, what would you conclude? Would you conclude that there is a god? or that you simply don't have all the facts?
Atheist: You never have all of the facts... Reasonable assumptions, remember?
Matt: Then you could not safely conclude it was the hand of God, could you?
Atheist: Nope. that would be the only explanation that I could think of that would have the three means, opportunity. (forget motive) [I did not understand him here...]
Matt: Then you couldn't know anything for sure, right? That is, if you don't have all the facts, all of them.
Atheist: Haven't we already agreed you can never have all the facts?
Matt: What you are telling me is that you have no real way of proving or disproving God. So then, doesn't it come down to faith based upon evidence? I have evidence.... You can't have evidence. Of course you will claim something silly like weather, trees or people. Maybe even resort to the BuyBull but we all know that is smoke and mirrors.
Atheist: I have to go. Friends just arrived. Can we finish this later?
Matt: If you want....
I'm not sure how it went with this atheist. But I hope some seeds were planted.
They weren't I am sure he left irritated and frustrated with your complete lack of logic and intelligent debate. Talking in circles NEVER got anyone anywhere. Enjoy spinning your wheels Matt.
I will be following up with more posts and hopefully I will get the opportunity to debate with this fellow soon......
Friday, March 16, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 13
From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
It is good to hear that our efforts to assist you are appreciated. It is erection inducing to know that you are ready and willing to receive the sacraments of the Great Phallus, and that you do wish to become one with the Testimonial Testicles.
To answer your question the Sock Washing Drive will be finished mid week and we will have the funds immediately transferred by Western onion to you so that you will be able to feed your starving presidential family. I am sure that your caviar supplies are running low now.
Fellations 5:77 " Eat of the Phallus, drink of the Phallus and you shall be strong and virginal before the Lord of Hostess. All who come before the Great Phallus on bended knee in supplication shall receive their reward."
Since you are fast becoming a solid member of the Church, it is incumbent upon me that I make this request of you now. In order for you to take the next step within the teachings of the Great Phallus, you must begin the Rite of Aid or CVS Pharmasy program. What this requires is your diligence, faith and above all your willingness to see the program through.
The requirements of the program are as follows:
1. Bring 2 new members into the fold of the Church. (they must also sign and send to us a copy of the membership agreement.)
2. Supply a photo of the new members holding a sign bearing their allegiance to the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. Something like "I have been Assimilated" will be fine.
3. Send the Church a handwritten letter describing how you will offer your corn hole as a place of solace and refuge to all Sailors, Inmates, and men of consience.
4. Denounce all former religous ties to any other religion with a formal declaration of faith.
5. Observe the holy day of Fellatrixation (May 2) by standing naked in your window for 1 hour before sunrise and before sunset. (provide photo of this if possible).
Once you have completed these tasks, you will be more on your way to becoming a great and trusted member of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.
I am looking forward to hearing from you and welcoming you into the fold of the Great Phallus.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
so, she writes back thinking that she can avoid the "tasks" I have laid out for her. I DON'T THINK SO!
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder)
Sir
How are you today?No newsfrom you yet. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thank you andGod bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So of course I write back and put her back on track. This should be a fun little round of email blasting teehee
From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
The Church is doing wonderfully. We are very blessed to be part of such a great and powerful faith as the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. I confer upon you the blessing of the Kuhm Burping Fellatrix. It is a great honor to have this blessing given to you, and I hope that you will proudly tell all with whom you speak of this great blessing!
How is it coming with the tasks that I have set before you? Have you accomplished them yet? I have not heard from you regarding them, it is very concerning to me that I have not heard from you regarding these simple requests.
Eurethra 17:23 "For he that completeth all things shall feel the glory of the great Phallus. Yea, even the lowly Pubococcus shall be blessed in the great and wonderful glory hole."
Let me know when you have completed the tasks that I have set before you and great blessings of prosperity and wealth shall be yours forever.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
She never responded to me after this email. I think she got tired of the game and moved on to 'easier marks'. It's sad really, I was having tons of fun at her expense.
I hope you enjoyed this little saga, I hope to have much more fun doing many other things and letting you ALL know about it!
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
It is good to hear that our efforts to assist you are appreciated. It is erection inducing to know that you are ready and willing to receive the sacraments of the Great Phallus, and that you do wish to become one with the Testimonial Testicles.
To answer your question the Sock Washing Drive will be finished mid week and we will have the funds immediately transferred by Western onion to you so that you will be able to feed your starving presidential family. I am sure that your caviar supplies are running low now.
Fellations 5:77 " Eat of the Phallus, drink of the Phallus and you shall be strong and virginal before the Lord of Hostess. All who come before the Great Phallus on bended knee in supplication shall receive their reward."
Since you are fast becoming a solid member of the Church, it is incumbent upon me that I make this request of you now. In order for you to take the next step within the teachings of the Great Phallus, you must begin the Rite of Aid or CVS Pharmasy program. What this requires is your diligence, faith and above all your willingness to see the program through.
The requirements of the program are as follows:
1. Bring 2 new members into the fold of the Church. (they must also sign and send to us a copy of the membership agreement.)
2. Supply a photo of the new members holding a sign bearing their allegiance to the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. Something like "I have been Assimilated" will be fine.
3. Send the Church a handwritten letter describing how you will offer your corn hole as a place of solace and refuge to all Sailors, Inmates, and men of consience.
4. Denounce all former religous ties to any other religion with a formal declaration of faith.
5. Observe the holy day of Fellatrixation (May 2) by standing naked in your window for 1 hour before sunrise and before sunset. (provide photo of this if possible).
Once you have completed these tasks, you will be more on your way to becoming a great and trusted member of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.
I am looking forward to hearing from you and welcoming you into the fold of the Great Phallus.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
so, she writes back thinking that she can avoid the "tasks" I have laid out for her. I DON'T THINK SO!
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder)
Sir
How are you today?No newsfrom you yet. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thank you andGod bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So of course I write back and put her back on track. This should be a fun little round of email blasting teehee
From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
The Church is doing wonderfully. We are very blessed to be part of such a great and powerful faith as the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. I confer upon you the blessing of the Kuhm Burping Fellatrix. It is a great honor to have this blessing given to you, and I hope that you will proudly tell all with whom you speak of this great blessing!
How is it coming with the tasks that I have set before you? Have you accomplished them yet? I have not heard from you regarding them, it is very concerning to me that I have not heard from you regarding these simple requests.
Eurethra 17:23 "For he that completeth all things shall feel the glory of the great Phallus. Yea, even the lowly Pubococcus shall be blessed in the great and wonderful glory hole."
Let me know when you have completed the tasks that I have set before you and great blessings of prosperity and wealth shall be yours forever.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
She never responded to me after this email. I think she got tired of the game and moved on to 'easier marks'. It's sad really, I was having tons of fun at her expense.
I hope you enjoyed this little saga, I hope to have much more fun doing many other things and letting you ALL know about it!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 12
this little saga may be over, but we will see what happens....
So, she ran whining back to Tits Mcghee
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail and I wish to notify you are like that of a Shepard and as aShepard you are supposed to guide your sheep even when they are goingastray. The mal words you are using on me, do you think you aresupposed to sue it on your on me as a member been a Shepard you are.Why? I was not happy when I was told that it was set up and I nowbelieve that those police are spies. Please let forget about that andmove forward. If I said I was going to pull out from the church andwithdraw my membership card back was statement made out annoyance
Ilook forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless usall.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada
JEEZUS!! I really wish she would learn how to spell and write! Just reading the bullshit she is spewing is giving me a headache!
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I understand that you feel that you were "set up" by "spies" and such. What would make you think that they were "spies"? They are both good upstanding members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin and have dealt with you honestly and truthfully at every turn. I have personally spoken with them regarding your concerns, and they both assure me as members of the Church that they are NOT spies nor are they interested in "setting you up".
I have been informed that they are not able to re-open your claim/case as once you decided to close the case that permanently bars them from re-opening it in the future.
As to your emotional outburst earlier, that can be forgiven by myself and the Church. I am sure if you sent an apology to the Church and it's members that would be sufficient for us to satisfy what is necessary to maintain your membership in the church. I would suggest in the letter that you make great mention of your willingness to open your corn hole to all the needy phalli of the world. It would be prudent for you as well to sign all your future correspondence with an appropriate signature line such as "Open Corn Hole of Love".
I do believe that if you do those things, you will have gone a long way towards bringing yourself back into good graces with the Church and it's membership. I do need to ask you these following questions, and you must answer them truthfully.
1. Have you knelt and worshipped the Great Phallus?
2. Do you offer your Corn Hole to all Sailors, Men of Consience and Inmates?
3. Do you honor the Phallus by penetrating the Corn Holes of others?
4. Will you swallow the offering of the Great Phallus?
5. Are you willing to submit to the teachings of the Great Phallus and the meanderings of the wet and waiting vage?
6. Have you maintained a vigilant watch for the Testimonial Testicles?
7. Will you cup the Testimonial Testicles and caress them with all your heart?
8. Has your taint been cleansed by the great tongue of love?
I expect an answer to all of these questions as it is very important to your development in the Church. The more you learn and grow with the Church, the more will be asked of you. The rewards of which are immesurable both in material things such as money and physical things but in spiritual things as well.
It the Great Book it states: Book of Testicles 3:69. : "For it is the responsibility of all men and women, to worship and be blessed with the offerings of The Great Phallus. Yea, all must worship and not be whores unto the babylon of lies and deceit."
Also, in Fellations 32:77.: "Suck the great rod into your mouth and accept the offerings of The Great Phallus. Your vage shall remain open and your Corn Hole an oasis to all who request it of ye. Yea, even fellate those that ask, it is a great duty to fellate all."
I think it would be a good idea for you to also get a copy of our holy scriptures. If you cannot find a copy we can send you one as well. The title of the Great Book is: The Testimonial Testicles of The Great Phallus. Get it, read it, and live it.
Please answer the questions I have posed to you and get back to me when you have.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Gee I wonder if she will answer my questions and get herself a copy of the book?
so she finally gets back to me with another sob story...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail and I wish to notify you and the whole church that i am confusedand belive me that i don't know what i am doing now by seeing mychildren crying every day and night of what to eat. Please tell thewhole church to kindly help my family.please they should not look uponwhat i have caused the whole chrch.
please please sir.
Ilookforward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrad
Notice, she can't even spell her own name!so of course I respond to her and make things even worse for the stupid idiot!
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
It saddens me to hear that your children are starving in your presidential palace in the Phillippines. As I have previously told you the Church would be more than happy to assist you, but we need to be sure of your conviction and belief in The Assimilated Virgin. That is why I asked you the questions that I did. I am putting them in this email as well, so that you may answer the questions either in an email or you are welcome to call the Church by phone and either tell me personally or leave your answers on our answering service. Again, the questions were:
1. Have you knelt and worshipped the Great Phallus?
2. Do you offer your Corn Hole to all Sailors, Men of Consience and Inmates?
3. Do you honor the Phallus by penetrating the Corn Holes of others?
4. Will you swallow the offering of the Great Phallus?
5. Are you willing to submit to the teachings of the Great Phallus and the meanderings of the wet and waiting vage?
6. Have you maintained a vigilant watch for the Testimonial Testicles?
7. Will you cup the Testimonial Testicles and caress them with all your heart?
8. Has your taint been cleansed by the great tongue of love?
I am sure you have our telephone number correct? If not, it is (206)666-4930. You are welcome to call us anytime for help or assistance. Please do not be alarmed if you get the answering service, as the message still has Rev. Balls' voice on it. We are keeping it there out of remembrance for a great and loving man. He had great and heavy testicles and was an excellent fellatrix as well.
We here at the Church of the Assimilated Virgin await you with open corn holes and sopping vage's. Come to us on your knees in a postition of forgiveness and all will be forgiven of you.
Fellatians 6:23 "For the virgin so loved the world that she gave her self wholly and not in part to all that requested of her. Blessed are the fellatrices as they shall conquer the phallus before all others."
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
here is more updated goodness for you!
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks foryour mail and i wish to notify you and the whole church to help us.Iwill answers the questions in an email.
Below are the answers to yourquestions.
1. Have you knelt and worshipped the GreatPhallus?YES.
2. Do you offer your Corn Hole to all Sailors, Men ofConsience and Inmates? YES I WILL DO.
3. Do you honor the Phallus bypenetrating the Corn Holes of others? YES I WILL DO.
4. Will youswallow the offering of the Great Phallus? NO I WILL NOT
5. Are youwilling to submit to the teachings of the Great Phallus and themeanderings of the wet and waiting vage?YES I WILL
6. Have youmaintained a vigilant watch for the Testimonial Testicles? YES IHAVE.
7. Will you cup the Testimonial Testicles and caress them withall your heart? YES I WILL.
8. Has your taint been cleansed by thegreat tongue of love?NO
Please sir, i will be very greatful if thewhole church will come to our help.I would have love to call you but forsecurity reason i will not be able because my lines are right nowconnected to the Philippines Telecommunication Network services.
Ilook forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless usall.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
So of course after her answers to my questions, I get back to her again
From:TitsMcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
I do appreciate your situation, and the wholechurch is mobilizing to assist you and your family in this great time ofneed. I have even contacted the US Embassy in the Phillippines and theyhave assured me that they will do whatever I ask of them to secure yourfreedom and liberty. You see, as members of The Church of theAssimilated Virgin, you are entitled to all the protections andliberties of such a great church in the US.
Thank you for beingso honest and frank in your answers to the questions which were posed toyou. We at the church do have one concern however: Your answer toquestion #5 has us a bit concerned. You will not swallow the offering ofthe Great Phallus? You see it is very important that you immerseyourself fully in the ways of the Great Phallus and the AssimilatedVirgin.
Cockeronemy 36:18 "Follow unto the Great Phallus in allthings, for it will never lead you astray nor will it lead you intotemptation."
Please let myself and the church know what else wecan do for you regarding your situation. Your last communication on thatmatter was rather vague.
I have also included a photo of our church in Springfield for you as well. As you can see we are a wealthyand powerful religion in the US.
May the Great Phallus keep youwet.
Tits Mcghee
High PhallicElder
and she of course continues with her sob story and the "please help us" routine
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder) Sir,
Thanks foryour mail and i wish to notify you that my family and i need financialhelp.
I have seen the attachment and i would like to tell you thtour church is very big and it cost alot of money to get that kind of bigchurch oh i really thank God for that. I have vowed that my familyand i will forever worship with you people throughout the days of ourlives.
Finally, please sir, do what ever you can to help usfinancially.
I look forward to your urgent reply. Thank youand God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
Hmm, I think we will help her yet again. Damn Christians always turning the other cheek and all that good stuff. But, before I do, I am gonna make her wait about a week.
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How areyou today? Please sir, what is going on?i have not heard from you orreceive any help from you either. Please kindly inform me what isgoing on.
Finally, please extend my regards to the whole church.
Ilook forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
so I get back to her like a good priest should
From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
We are working to assist you, as you are already aware when Gaylord Fagg did what he did, he caused some serious issues within the Church as well as inconviencing many of our members overseas and in other parts of the galaxy.
Assholio 6:34. " For he that is patient and waits for the Phallus shall be blessed. If, he should falter in patience he will be castrated and left soulless."
The brotherhood and sisterhood of the Church are putting together a Sock Washing Drive to raise funds to assist your family in their terrible plight. We always do our best to make sure that members of our faith are well taken care of, and always blessed in all they do.
If all goes well, we will have raised more than 10,000$ which is our goal to send to your family. Now, I know it is not as much as we were initially sending to you but with all of the problems we ran into previously it is what will be available to you this go round. I am sure in the future, more money will be made availble to you if it is needed.
If there is anything else you need, please don't hesitate to contact me further.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
so she responds and is "praying for the church"
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder)
Sir
Thanks for yourmail.I personally thank you for what you are doing to ensure that myfamily never suffered and i pray that the Great Phallus will alwayskeep and bless you in all your doings.I can not thank you enough but iknow that the Great Phallus will sure answered you when ever you openyour mouth to make a request.
Sir, I am very okay by yourmessage.But, when is the money going to be sent to me? I asked because iwant to know so that i can arrange on how the money will be sent tome.
My Family and i wishes you and the whole church happyEaster.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
so I respond with something that I think she will hate but you all should love!!
So, she ran whining back to Tits Mcghee
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail and I wish to notify you are like that of a Shepard and as aShepard you are supposed to guide your sheep even when they are goingastray. The mal words you are using on me, do you think you aresupposed to sue it on your on me as a member been a Shepard you are.Why? I was not happy when I was told that it was set up and I nowbelieve that those police are spies. Please let forget about that andmove forward. If I said I was going to pull out from the church andwithdraw my membership card back was statement made out annoyance
Ilook forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless usall.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada
JEEZUS!! I really wish she would learn how to spell and write! Just reading the bullshit she is spewing is giving me a headache!
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I understand that you feel that you were "set up" by "spies" and such. What would make you think that they were "spies"? They are both good upstanding members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin and have dealt with you honestly and truthfully at every turn. I have personally spoken with them regarding your concerns, and they both assure me as members of the Church that they are NOT spies nor are they interested in "setting you up".
I have been informed that they are not able to re-open your claim/case as once you decided to close the case that permanently bars them from re-opening it in the future.
As to your emotional outburst earlier, that can be forgiven by myself and the Church. I am sure if you sent an apology to the Church and it's members that would be sufficient for us to satisfy what is necessary to maintain your membership in the church. I would suggest in the letter that you make great mention of your willingness to open your corn hole to all the needy phalli of the world. It would be prudent for you as well to sign all your future correspondence with an appropriate signature line such as "Open Corn Hole of Love".
I do believe that if you do those things, you will have gone a long way towards bringing yourself back into good graces with the Church and it's membership. I do need to ask you these following questions, and you must answer them truthfully.
1. Have you knelt and worshipped the Great Phallus?
2. Do you offer your Corn Hole to all Sailors, Men of Consience and Inmates?
3. Do you honor the Phallus by penetrating the Corn Holes of others?
4. Will you swallow the offering of the Great Phallus?
5. Are you willing to submit to the teachings of the Great Phallus and the meanderings of the wet and waiting vage?
6. Have you maintained a vigilant watch for the Testimonial Testicles?
7. Will you cup the Testimonial Testicles and caress them with all your heart?
8. Has your taint been cleansed by the great tongue of love?
I expect an answer to all of these questions as it is very important to your development in the Church. The more you learn and grow with the Church, the more will be asked of you. The rewards of which are immesurable both in material things such as money and physical things but in spiritual things as well.
It the Great Book it states: Book of Testicles 3:69. : "For it is the responsibility of all men and women, to worship and be blessed with the offerings of The Great Phallus. Yea, all must worship and not be whores unto the babylon of lies and deceit."
Also, in Fellations 32:77.: "Suck the great rod into your mouth and accept the offerings of The Great Phallus. Your vage shall remain open and your Corn Hole an oasis to all who request it of ye. Yea, even fellate those that ask, it is a great duty to fellate all."
I think it would be a good idea for you to also get a copy of our holy scriptures. If you cannot find a copy we can send you one as well. The title of the Great Book is: The Testimonial Testicles of The Great Phallus. Get it, read it, and live it.
Please answer the questions I have posed to you and get back to me when you have.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Gee I wonder if she will answer my questions and get herself a copy of the book?
so she finally gets back to me with another sob story...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for yourmail and I wish to notify you and the whole church that i am confusedand belive me that i don't know what i am doing now by seeing mychildren crying every day and night of what to eat. Please tell thewhole church to kindly help my family.please they should not look uponwhat i have caused the whole chrch.
please please sir.
Ilookforward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrad
Notice, she can't even spell her own name!so of course I respond to her and make things even worse for the stupid idiot!
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
It saddens me to hear that your children are starving in your presidential palace in the Phillippines. As I have previously told you the Church would be more than happy to assist you, but we need to be sure of your conviction and belief in The Assimilated Virgin. That is why I asked you the questions that I did. I am putting them in this email as well, so that you may answer the questions either in an email or you are welcome to call the Church by phone and either tell me personally or leave your answers on our answering service. Again, the questions were:
1. Have you knelt and worshipped the Great Phallus?
2. Do you offer your Corn Hole to all Sailors, Men of Consience and Inmates?
3. Do you honor the Phallus by penetrating the Corn Holes of others?
4. Will you swallow the offering of the Great Phallus?
5. Are you willing to submit to the teachings of the Great Phallus and the meanderings of the wet and waiting vage?
6. Have you maintained a vigilant watch for the Testimonial Testicles?
7. Will you cup the Testimonial Testicles and caress them with all your heart?
8. Has your taint been cleansed by the great tongue of love?
I am sure you have our telephone number correct? If not, it is (206)666-4930. You are welcome to call us anytime for help or assistance. Please do not be alarmed if you get the answering service, as the message still has Rev. Balls' voice on it. We are keeping it there out of remembrance for a great and loving man. He had great and heavy testicles and was an excellent fellatrix as well.
We here at the Church of the Assimilated Virgin await you with open corn holes and sopping vage's. Come to us on your knees in a postition of forgiveness and all will be forgiven of you.
Fellatians 6:23 "For the virgin so loved the world that she gave her self wholly and not in part to all that requested of her. Blessed are the fellatrices as they shall conquer the phallus before all others."
May the Great Phallus keep you wet,
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
here is more updated goodness for you!
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks foryour mail and i wish to notify you and the whole church to help us.Iwill answers the questions in an email.
Below are the answers to yourquestions.
1. Have you knelt and worshipped the GreatPhallus?YES.
2. Do you offer your Corn Hole to all Sailors, Men ofConsience and Inmates? YES I WILL DO.
3. Do you honor the Phallus bypenetrating the Corn Holes of others? YES I WILL DO.
4. Will youswallow the offering of the Great Phallus? NO I WILL NOT
5. Are youwilling to submit to the teachings of the Great Phallus and themeanderings of the wet and waiting vage?YES I WILL
6. Have youmaintained a vigilant watch for the Testimonial Testicles? YES IHAVE.
7. Will you cup the Testimonial Testicles and caress them withall your heart? YES I WILL.
8. Has your taint been cleansed by thegreat tongue of love?NO
Please sir, i will be very greatful if thewhole church will come to our help.I would have love to call you but forsecurity reason i will not be able because my lines are right nowconnected to the Philippines Telecommunication Network services.
Ilook forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless usall.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
So of course after her answers to my questions, I get back to her again
From:TitsMcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
I do appreciate your situation, and the wholechurch is mobilizing to assist you and your family in this great time ofneed. I have even contacted the US Embassy in the Phillippines and theyhave assured me that they will do whatever I ask of them to secure yourfreedom and liberty. You see, as members of The Church of theAssimilated Virgin, you are entitled to all the protections andliberties of such a great church in the US.
Thank you for beingso honest and frank in your answers to the questions which were posed toyou. We at the church do have one concern however: Your answer toquestion #5 has us a bit concerned. You will not swallow the offering ofthe Great Phallus? You see it is very important that you immerseyourself fully in the ways of the Great Phallus and the AssimilatedVirgin.
Cockeronemy 36:18 "Follow unto the Great Phallus in allthings, for it will never lead you astray nor will it lead you intotemptation."
Please let myself and the church know what else wecan do for you regarding your situation. Your last communication on thatmatter was rather vague.
I have also included a photo of our church in Springfield for you as well. As you can see we are a wealthyand powerful religion in the US.
May the Great Phallus keep youwet.
Tits Mcghee
High PhallicElder
and she of course continues with her sob story and the "please help us" routine
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder) Sir,
Thanks foryour mail and i wish to notify you that my family and i need financialhelp.
I have seen the attachment and i would like to tell you thtour church is very big and it cost alot of money to get that kind of bigchurch oh i really thank God for that. I have vowed that my familyand i will forever worship with you people throughout the days of ourlives.
Finally, please sir, do what ever you can to help usfinancially.
I look forward to your urgent reply. Thank youand God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
Hmm, I think we will help her yet again. Damn Christians always turning the other cheek and all that good stuff. But, before I do, I am gonna make her wait about a week.
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How areyou today? Please sir, what is going on?i have not heard from you orreceive any help from you either. Please kindly inform me what isgoing on.
Finally, please extend my regards to the whole church.
Ilook forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
so I get back to her like a good priest should
From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
We are working to assist you, as you are already aware when Gaylord Fagg did what he did, he caused some serious issues within the Church as well as inconviencing many of our members overseas and in other parts of the galaxy.
Assholio 6:34. " For he that is patient and waits for the Phallus shall be blessed. If, he should falter in patience he will be castrated and left soulless."
The brotherhood and sisterhood of the Church are putting together a Sock Washing Drive to raise funds to assist your family in their terrible plight. We always do our best to make sure that members of our faith are well taken care of, and always blessed in all they do.
If all goes well, we will have raised more than 10,000$ which is our goal to send to your family. Now, I know it is not as much as we were initially sending to you but with all of the problems we ran into previously it is what will be available to you this go round. I am sure in the future, more money will be made availble to you if it is needed.
If there is anything else you need, please don't hesitate to contact me further.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
so she responds and is "praying for the church"
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder)
Sir
Thanks for yourmail.I personally thank you for what you are doing to ensure that myfamily never suffered and i pray that the Great Phallus will alwayskeep and bless you in all your doings.I can not thank you enough but iknow that the Great Phallus will sure answered you when ever you openyour mouth to make a request.
Sir, I am very okay by yourmessage.But, when is the money going to be sent to me? I asked because iwant to know so that i can arrange on how the money will be sent tome.
My Family and i wishes you and the whole church happyEaster.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
so I respond with something that I think she will hate but you all should love!!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Conversations with Christian Zealots
I have been posting a few times now on Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort's Facebook page for their show "Way of the Master". I have to give them some credit, they haven't moderated me yet. That in itself is impressive since most places I post, they moderate my posts right out of existence (Cough. cough. Mormon.org etc)
If you enjoy a good debate (even if it is with irrational BuyBull thumpers) I would suggest going there and letting these folks know how you feel. It's fun and entertaining. The link is here -- Fun with Christians --
Here is a conversation I had with a few of them there on the subject of Homosexuality being a sin....
.Exhalted Outcast I am seriously baffled. No where in the Ten Commandments does it say that being homosexual is wrong. I realize that there are a couple passages that are NOT commandments about it but nothing in the "rules to live by" commandments? You know my blog explores alot of the christian mythos and it's effect on society.
Debbie Raymond Thou shall not commit adultery, and anything outside of marriage is adultery as Jesus said if you even look at a woman with lust you have committed adultery. You show me one Scripture that shows any marriage other than between a man and woman. And if you believe God is all knowing then He would know the problem society is going to have with this issue on homosexuality and He would have made it very clear if He did not have a problem with it but God does not because it is clearly a sin in God's eye and there are many Scriptures showing that homosexuality along with other sins if not repented of ,those will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.
1.Laura O'Brien Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable" Leviticus 20:13 - "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. Romans 1:26-27 - "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. 1 Cor 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, 5 practicing homosexuals, 6 6:10 thieves, the greedy, drunkards, the verbally abusive, 7 and swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God. I don't see how the Bible can be any more clear.
.Debbie Raymond When it comes to sin, as I read Scripture I see myself in there as everyone should, but as you see that you are a sinner in need of a Savior and with all your heart repent and ask for forgiveness, for only the Lord our God knows the heart can free us from the slavery is sin. Jesus freed me and now I see sin for what it is, but the first thing you must realize is your sin and only Jesus can free us from that. We must realize that we have a God of love and also a God of wrath that is Holy, Holy, Holy and cannot over look sin if you keep continuing in it. Put the Lord our God first in your life and the rest will follow. I pray that all those struggling with sin will just put your faith and trust in Christ, love Him above all people and all things and He will see you through everything.
Exhalted Outcast Here's the rub: I don't see myself as a sinner. I see myself as a HUMAN being and I don't honestly believe that an all knowing all seeing omnipotent being would CREATE a race of FALLIBLE beings then BLAME them for their fallibility. That logic does NOT make sense. Since the "creator" created everything including LOGIC and since the "creator" has to follow his own rules, he could NOT have had that sort of situation in mind when this all started. All of this sounds like interpretation and a fairly vague one at that. Heres the way I see this: Live a good life, be good to people and do the right thing and you will be fine. Worry about all that other stuff and you are just giving yourself an ulcer.
We shall see how they respond, I am sure it will be with BuyBull references...
If you enjoy a good debate (even if it is with irrational BuyBull thumpers) I would suggest going there and letting these folks know how you feel. It's fun and entertaining. The link is here -- Fun with Christians --
Here is a conversation I had with a few of them there on the subject of Homosexuality being a sin....
.Exhalted Outcast I am seriously baffled. No where in the Ten Commandments does it say that being homosexual is wrong. I realize that there are a couple passages that are NOT commandments about it but nothing in the "rules to live by" commandments? You know my blog explores alot of the christian mythos and it's effect on society.
Debbie Raymond Thou shall not commit adultery, and anything outside of marriage is adultery as Jesus said if you even look at a woman with lust you have committed adultery. You show me one Scripture that shows any marriage other than between a man and woman. And if you believe God is all knowing then He would know the problem society is going to have with this issue on homosexuality and He would have made it very clear if He did not have a problem with it but God does not because it is clearly a sin in God's eye and there are many Scriptures showing that homosexuality along with other sins if not repented of ,those will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.
1.Laura O'Brien Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable" Leviticus 20:13 - "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. Romans 1:26-27 - "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. 1 Cor 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, 5 practicing homosexuals, 6 6:10 thieves, the greedy, drunkards, the verbally abusive, 7 and swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God. I don't see how the Bible can be any more clear.
.Debbie Raymond When it comes to sin, as I read Scripture I see myself in there as everyone should, but as you see that you are a sinner in need of a Savior and with all your heart repent and ask for forgiveness, for only the Lord our God knows the heart can free us from the slavery is sin. Jesus freed me and now I see sin for what it is, but the first thing you must realize is your sin and only Jesus can free us from that. We must realize that we have a God of love and also a God of wrath that is Holy, Holy, Holy and cannot over look sin if you keep continuing in it. Put the Lord our God first in your life and the rest will follow. I pray that all those struggling with sin will just put your faith and trust in Christ, love Him above all people and all things and He will see you through everything.
Exhalted Outcast Here's the rub: I don't see myself as a sinner. I see myself as a HUMAN being and I don't honestly believe that an all knowing all seeing omnipotent being would CREATE a race of FALLIBLE beings then BLAME them for their fallibility. That logic does NOT make sense. Since the "creator" created everything including LOGIC and since the "creator" has to follow his own rules, he could NOT have had that sort of situation in mind when this all started. All of this sounds like interpretation and a fairly vague one at that. Heres the way I see this: Live a good life, be good to people and do the right thing and you will be fine. Worry about all that other stuff and you are just giving yourself an ulcer.
We shall see how they respond, I am sure it will be with BuyBull references...
Monday, March 12, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 11
Out the gate she starts whining to Tits Mcghee
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder) Sir, Please i write to notify and the whole that i withdrew my familyand i amd other souls i have won from been menbers of the church.Youpeople have been unfair to us.Please sir, Springfield Police Department,Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum wantedto set my agent up. Please help me tell them that i am no longerinterested in that funds.They should go hell with funds. Why mustthey suddenly charge the arrangment?.They want my agent to go AmericanEmbassy in Germany for the collection of funds,why?I want you to studythe letter they sent to me.Below is the letter and iw ant you to tell mewhere I have been less than dishonest in all of my transactions withThe Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as the head investigator ofthe Criminal Compensation Division of the Springfield Police Department,Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum. ..................................................
My name is Dr.Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada,
I am authorizing Ms. Andrea Beck ofGitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany to collect my CriminalCompensation, that I have most honestly earned and with all honesty andintegrity believe that I deserve. I have through my efforts with theChurch of the Assimilated Virgin been able to have them disburse to me asum of $48,400 US Dollars. The case number is: 06098419004194. Iwould like to receive exactly what is coming to me via my agent Ms.Andrea Beck. Ms. Beck also is here with all necessary identification toprove her identity and to prove that she is duly able to be CriminallyCompensated on my behalf. I have been less than dishonest in all of mytransactions with The Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as thehead investigator of the Criminal Compensation Division of theSpringfield Police Department, Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and hissuperior Chief Charlie Wiggum.
.................................................
Please let themgo to hell with their funds.My agent will not go any where(AmericanEmbassy). I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada
A set up? Me??? I don't think so, so Tits responds..
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
Why do you attack the Church? We have been nothing if not kind and understanding with all of your trials, tribulations and complications that you have thrown our way. Now, you want to leave the Church, because the Springfield Police Department wants to deliver to you what is yours?
I can see nothing wrong with the letter they sent to you. You have always been honest and forthcoming with the church. So, yes I would say that you have been less than dishonest, you have been HONEST!
I am not sure what you mean by "Set Up", I was informed that it is simply Federal Law and policy within the Police Department that when they are transferring such large sums that the funds be delivered to the US Embassy in what ever country the funds are going to.
How and for that matter why would the Police want to set you up? What would they have to gain? Have you committed some crime? That would be the only reason why you would see that as something other than standard procedure. If you have been dishonest with us, then we accept your withdrawl from our church and hope that your sloppy diseased gash rots off your stinking crotch and kills all that enter it!
Officially you will be banned from the Church of the Assimilated Virgin and never be allowed the sacraments of heaven or for that matter a decent orgasm for the rest of your unnatural, uneducated, loserific existence you diseased babylonian whore!
May the Great Phallus Urinate on your diseased soul!
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now to Apu and what she whines to him about...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
I am sorry to announce to you that my Agent will not go to American Embassy for the collection of the funds sorry. Please take the funds we are no longer interested again.IT IS A SET UP FROM YOU SAYS BY MY LAWYER.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Her Lawyer? If she were legit, she would NEVER question where or why the money was where it was.
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
It is my understanding that you are now refusing to collect what is coming to you? It seems strange that you would be worried about a "set up" when in your own words, you have been honest with myself and the SPDCCD in every conversation.
Since you are refusing to collect what is coming to you, you may consider this transaction void and we will no longer do business on this matter with you.
As of 6:26am CST this transaction/case is now closed. All parties have been satisfied and no further action will be taken in this matter.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder) Sir, Please i write to notify and the whole that i withdrew my familyand i amd other souls i have won from been menbers of the church.Youpeople have been unfair to us.Please sir, Springfield Police Department,Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum wantedto set my agent up. Please help me tell them that i am no longerinterested in that funds.They should go hell with funds. Why mustthey suddenly charge the arrangment?.They want my agent to go AmericanEmbassy in Germany for the collection of funds,why?I want you to studythe letter they sent to me.Below is the letter and iw ant you to tell mewhere I have been less than dishonest in all of my transactions withThe Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as the head investigator ofthe Criminal Compensation Division of the Springfield Police Department,Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum. ..................................................
My name is Dr.Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada,
I am authorizing Ms. Andrea Beck ofGitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany to collect my CriminalCompensation, that I have most honestly earned and with all honesty andintegrity believe that I deserve. I have through my efforts with theChurch of the Assimilated Virgin been able to have them disburse to me asum of $48,400 US Dollars. The case number is: 06098419004194. Iwould like to receive exactly what is coming to me via my agent Ms.Andrea Beck. Ms. Beck also is here with all necessary identification toprove her identity and to prove that she is duly able to be CriminallyCompensated on my behalf. I have been less than dishonest in all of mytransactions with The Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as thehead investigator of the Criminal Compensation Division of theSpringfield Police Department, Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and hissuperior Chief Charlie Wiggum.
.................................................
Please let themgo to hell with their funds.My agent will not go any where(AmericanEmbassy). I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and Godbless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada
A set up? Me??? I don't think so, so Tits responds..
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
Why do you attack the Church? We have been nothing if not kind and understanding with all of your trials, tribulations and complications that you have thrown our way. Now, you want to leave the Church, because the Springfield Police Department wants to deliver to you what is yours?
I can see nothing wrong with the letter they sent to you. You have always been honest and forthcoming with the church. So, yes I would say that you have been less than dishonest, you have been HONEST!
I am not sure what you mean by "Set Up", I was informed that it is simply Federal Law and policy within the Police Department that when they are transferring such large sums that the funds be delivered to the US Embassy in what ever country the funds are going to.
How and for that matter why would the Police want to set you up? What would they have to gain? Have you committed some crime? That would be the only reason why you would see that as something other than standard procedure. If you have been dishonest with us, then we accept your withdrawl from our church and hope that your sloppy diseased gash rots off your stinking crotch and kills all that enter it!
Officially you will be banned from the Church of the Assimilated Virgin and never be allowed the sacraments of heaven or for that matter a decent orgasm for the rest of your unnatural, uneducated, loserific existence you diseased babylonian whore!
May the Great Phallus Urinate on your diseased soul!
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now to Apu and what she whines to him about...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
I am sorry to announce to you that my Agent will not go to American Embassy for the collection of the funds sorry. Please take the funds we are no longer interested again.IT IS A SET UP FROM YOU SAYS BY MY LAWYER.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Her Lawyer? If she were legit, she would NEVER question where or why the money was where it was.
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
It is my understanding that you are now refusing to collect what is coming to you? It seems strange that you would be worried about a "set up" when in your own words, you have been honest with myself and the SPDCCD in every conversation.
Since you are refusing to collect what is coming to you, you may consider this transaction void and we will no longer do business on this matter with you.
As of 6:26am CST this transaction/case is now closed. All parties have been satisfied and no further action will be taken in this matter.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Kirk Cameron says "Gays will destroy Civilization"
No, I'm not making this up! He says it and his crazy ass evangelical ass means it! Not only does he have his horrible show with the Jack wagon of the Century Ray Comfort (Way of the Master) where they travel around the country ambushing people on the street and telling them they are going to hell but he goes on CNN and tells Piers Morgan that Gays are ruining civilization. Here is a brief excerpt from their conversation:
Kirk first shared his views on Gays: “I believe marriage was defined by God. Marriage is almost as old as dirt, and it was defined in the Garden between Adam and Eve. One man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would never attempt to try to redefine marriage. And I don’t think anyone else should either. So do I support the idea of gay marriage? No, I don’t.”
When Piers pressed him further on the subject of whether or not homosexuality was a sin he said: "I think that it's...unnatural. It's detrimental and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization."
Cameron and Comfort and all their evangelical cronies are running around this country spouting their hate and bile on anyone that will listen. It's just saddening that they don't have the BALLS to take on anyone without their bigoted behavior getting in the way.
Personally, gay or not it doesn't matter. People are people and should be treated equally and as PEOPLE. Not, gay, straight, christian, Muslim but JUST People!
Kirk first shared his views on Gays: “I believe marriage was defined by God. Marriage is almost as old as dirt, and it was defined in the Garden between Adam and Eve. One man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would never attempt to try to redefine marriage. And I don’t think anyone else should either. So do I support the idea of gay marriage? No, I don’t.”
When Piers pressed him further on the subject of whether or not homosexuality was a sin he said: "I think that it's...unnatural. It's detrimental and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization."
Cameron and Comfort and all their evangelical cronies are running around this country spouting their hate and bile on anyone that will listen. It's just saddening that they don't have the BALLS to take on anyone without their bigoted behavior getting in the way.
Personally, gay or not it doesn't matter. People are people and should be treated equally and as PEOPLE. Not, gay, straight, christian, Muslim but JUST People!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 10
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are very aware that Dusseldorf Airport is an International Airport direct from America. The reason that our courier is flying into Berlin is that he/she is coming to Germany via the UK and then Amsterdam as they have other deliveries/duties as well as yours.
It seems odd that you would worry about how far the courier has to drive to deliver to your designated "Criminal Compensation Agent", as the courier was instructed to deliver directly to your agent.
There has been a change in the delivery schedule that I must inform you of as well. Due to the recent changes to security procedures throughout the world after the recent terrorist activity, and also due to the large amount of currency that is being delivered to your agent we have had to use a US Diplomatic courier to effect the transport of the funds to your agent. Because of this change in security measures, the agent will not be personally delivering the currency to your agent. Your agent will have to collect the currency from the US Mission in Dusseldorf. I have been informed that the funds will be at the US Mission awaiting your agents retrieval no later than Monday morning.
Your agent will need the following information and documents in order to retrieve the delivery.
NAME: Ms. Andrea Beck
HER INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT: For ID verification
THE CASE NUMBER: 06098419004194
A Letter from you stating that she is your agent and is able to collect the Criminal Compensation due you. I have included the letter for you as well: ______________________________________________________________
Attn: U.S. Consul General George Knowles
My name is Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada,
I am authorizing Ms. Andrea Beck of Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany to collect my Criminal Compensation, that I have most honestly earned and with all honesty and integrity believe that I deserve. I have through my efforts with the Church of the Assimilated Virgin been able to have them disburse to me a sum of $48,400 US Dollars.
The case number is: 06098419004194. I would like to receive exactly what is coming to me via my agent Ms. Andrea Beck. Ms. Beck also is here with all necessary identification to prove her identity and to prove that she is duly able to be Criminally Compensated on my behalf. I have been less than dishonest in all of my transactions with The Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as the head investigator of the Criminal Compensation Division of the Springfield Police Department, Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum.
Please compensate myself and my agent as we deserve.
Thank you,
SIGN YOUR NAME HERE
Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
____________________________________________________________________
I am glad we were able to assist you in getting your Criminal Compensation, and I am sure that you are happy that our business has been concluded. If there are any questions or problems you may have, please let me know.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Gee I wonder what she will say now? I mean the money is in Germany right?
So she goes whining to Tits, and of course I ignore her for a few days
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
How areyou today? Why are you keeping me quite?Sir, don't you think that youare supposed to be directing me on what to do as a new member? You leftme all alone. I have done everything i was asked to do and still yeti don't know when the funds will be delivered to my agent. I lookforward to your urgent reply. Thank you and God bless usall. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
you know her crap would be easier to understand if she could type and format a damn email better than this! but like a good elder I respond
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I was not aware that you needed guidance. I and the elders here at The Church of the Assimilated Virgin assumed that once this was resolved for you, you would contact us for direction and we would go from there. I do recall asking you when you would like the missionaries to arrive in your area to begin the building of the "Great Phallus".
I understand that your vage is wet and waiting for the Church to give you all the direction you need in your life. If you remember from your membership agreement, have you been offering your corn hole to all men in need of one?
Have you been worshipping the Great Phallus daily? On your knees in penetance and servitude to the Great Phallus and its spray of glory from the hole in which it is placed?
Have you sung the praises to everyone you meet of the great glory hole?
Are you spreading the cheeks of those that have not heard the word of the Great Phallus and inserted the truth into their lives?
If you are doing these things, you are already doing everything that we ask of our members. If you are not, then you have now received your direction from me at this time. You are going to be a great member of our faith, I am sure you will spread the cheeks of many a new member and will offer your corn hole to all men in need of a warm corn hole.
As to the funds you asked about, Chief Wiggum has informed me that the money has been taken by courier as his head auditor informed you. It is simply a matter of your agent collecting the funds on Monday.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now, back to Apu and the conversation going on that end
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Since you have decided not to talk to me, well there is no problem. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Not sure what she means here, but then again it's not like english is her strong suit as you have already seen.
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Not sure what you mean. I have sent you the necessary information to complete this case.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
I also send ANOTHER copy of the email with the letter for the Consul General in Dusseldorf. I can't wait for the hilarity to ensue. She doesn't even flinch at "picking up the funds"
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that i am very much happy.Once again thank you very much.
Please kindly me the address of the US mission and the name of the person my agent is going to meet on monday. Finally, this US Mission,is that a church?
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, of course I oblige her and send the info right?
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
The address is: Willi - Becker - Allee 10 40227 Düsseldorf. The person you will need to speak with is: U.S. Consul General George Knowles.
You will need to bring the signed copy of the letter I sent to you in order for them to verify that your agent is the person to pick up your funds. As well as her International passport and other documents as directed. I am sure that the people at the US Mission will be very happy to see your agent and to give her exactly what is coming to her and yourself.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Then as myself, I send another email to someone who should know what is happening, namely the US Embassy.
Hello,
My name is [censored], I am a US citizen living in [censored location].
I am not sure who to contact about this, but I have been receiving email from a person posing as Dr. Louisa Pimentel Estrada of the Philippines. She has asked me to send her $48,400 to rescue monies that have been held “hostage” in Germany. I know that this is a scam, and have sent her to the Embassy in Düsseldorf to collect the funds. If you would like since she is committing a major crime here, for me to send you copies of all the email transactions with her, I would be happy to do so. I would venture a guess that I am not the first person she has contacted regarding this scam. I think this would be a perfect opportunity for the US to capture and prosecute one of these scammers. I have sent a letter to her that she will be bringing to the Embassy demanding the funds; essentially it is a confession of her crime as well.
Please let me know if this is possible. You can also contact me by telephone at 999-999-9999 as well.
Thanks,
[censored]
[censored email address]
Gee whiz I hope she is gonna be ok
Ref: 06098419004194
We are very aware that Dusseldorf Airport is an International Airport direct from America. The reason that our courier is flying into Berlin is that he/she is coming to Germany via the UK and then Amsterdam as they have other deliveries/duties as well as yours.
It seems odd that you would worry about how far the courier has to drive to deliver to your designated "Criminal Compensation Agent", as the courier was instructed to deliver directly to your agent.
There has been a change in the delivery schedule that I must inform you of as well. Due to the recent changes to security procedures throughout the world after the recent terrorist activity, and also due to the large amount of currency that is being delivered to your agent we have had to use a US Diplomatic courier to effect the transport of the funds to your agent. Because of this change in security measures, the agent will not be personally delivering the currency to your agent. Your agent will have to collect the currency from the US Mission in Dusseldorf. I have been informed that the funds will be at the US Mission awaiting your agents retrieval no later than Monday morning.
Your agent will need the following information and documents in order to retrieve the delivery.
NAME: Ms. Andrea Beck
HER INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT: For ID verification
THE CASE NUMBER: 06098419004194
A Letter from you stating that she is your agent and is able to collect the Criminal Compensation due you. I have included the letter for you as well: ______________________________________________________________
Attn: U.S. Consul General George Knowles
My name is Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada,
I am authorizing Ms. Andrea Beck of Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany to collect my Criminal Compensation, that I have most honestly earned and with all honesty and integrity believe that I deserve. I have through my efforts with the Church of the Assimilated Virgin been able to have them disburse to me a sum of $48,400 US Dollars.
The case number is: 06098419004194. I would like to receive exactly what is coming to me via my agent Ms. Andrea Beck. Ms. Beck also is here with all necessary identification to prove her identity and to prove that she is duly able to be Criminally Compensated on my behalf. I have been less than dishonest in all of my transactions with The Church of the Assimilated Virgin as well as the head investigator of the Criminal Compensation Division of the Springfield Police Department, Mr. Apu Nahasapimapetilan and his superior Chief Charlie Wiggum.
Please compensate myself and my agent as we deserve.
Thank you,
SIGN YOUR NAME HERE
Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentel Estrada
____________________________________________________________________
I am glad we were able to assist you in getting your Criminal Compensation, and I am sure that you are happy that our business has been concluded. If there are any questions or problems you may have, please let me know.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Gee I wonder what she will say now? I mean the money is in Germany right?
So she goes whining to Tits, and of course I ignore her for a few days
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
How areyou today? Why are you keeping me quite?Sir, don't you think that youare supposed to be directing me on what to do as a new member? You leftme all alone. I have done everything i was asked to do and still yeti don't know when the funds will be delivered to my agent. I lookforward to your urgent reply. Thank you and God bless usall. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
you know her crap would be easier to understand if she could type and format a damn email better than this! but like a good elder I respond
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I was not aware that you needed guidance. I and the elders here at The Church of the Assimilated Virgin assumed that once this was resolved for you, you would contact us for direction and we would go from there. I do recall asking you when you would like the missionaries to arrive in your area to begin the building of the "Great Phallus".
I understand that your vage is wet and waiting for the Church to give you all the direction you need in your life. If you remember from your membership agreement, have you been offering your corn hole to all men in need of one?
Have you been worshipping the Great Phallus daily? On your knees in penetance and servitude to the Great Phallus and its spray of glory from the hole in which it is placed?
Have you sung the praises to everyone you meet of the great glory hole?
Are you spreading the cheeks of those that have not heard the word of the Great Phallus and inserted the truth into their lives?
If you are doing these things, you are already doing everything that we ask of our members. If you are not, then you have now received your direction from me at this time. You are going to be a great member of our faith, I am sure you will spread the cheeks of many a new member and will offer your corn hole to all men in need of a warm corn hole.
As to the funds you asked about, Chief Wiggum has informed me that the money has been taken by courier as his head auditor informed you. It is simply a matter of your agent collecting the funds on Monday.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now, back to Apu and the conversation going on that end
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Since you have decided not to talk to me, well there is no problem. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Not sure what she means here, but then again it's not like english is her strong suit as you have already seen.
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Not sure what you mean. I have sent you the necessary information to complete this case.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
I also send ANOTHER copy of the email with the letter for the Consul General in Dusseldorf. I can't wait for the hilarity to ensue. She doesn't even flinch at "picking up the funds"
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that i am very much happy.Once again thank you very much.
Please kindly me the address of the US mission and the name of the person my agent is going to meet on monday. Finally, this US Mission,is that a church?
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, of course I oblige her and send the info right?
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
The address is: Willi - Becker - Allee 10 40227 Düsseldorf. The person you will need to speak with is: U.S. Consul General George Knowles.
You will need to bring the signed copy of the letter I sent to you in order for them to verify that your agent is the person to pick up your funds. As well as her International passport and other documents as directed. I am sure that the people at the US Mission will be very happy to see your agent and to give her exactly what is coming to her and yourself.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Then as myself, I send another email to someone who should know what is happening, namely the US Embassy.
Hello,
My name is [censored], I am a US citizen living in [censored location].
I am not sure who to contact about this, but I have been receiving email from a person posing as Dr. Louisa Pimentel Estrada of the Philippines. She has asked me to send her $48,400 to rescue monies that have been held “hostage” in Germany. I know that this is a scam, and have sent her to the Embassy in Düsseldorf to collect the funds. If you would like since she is committing a major crime here, for me to send you copies of all the email transactions with her, I would be happy to do so. I would venture a guess that I am not the first person she has contacted regarding this scam. I think this would be a perfect opportunity for the US to capture and prosecute one of these scammers. I have sent a letter to her that she will be bringing to the Embassy demanding the funds; essentially it is a confession of her crime as well.
Please let me know if this is possible. You can also contact me by telephone at 999-999-9999 as well.
Thanks,
[censored]
[censored email address]
Gee whiz I hope she is gonna be ok
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 9
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
In order to deliver what is yours, we needed an address to deliver to and you have provided that to us. That is appreciated, if you did read fully the previous email where the instructions were laid out to you, I do believe it was very clear that your agent would also have to provide a form of identification to us as well. Failure to comply with policies will only delay your criminal compensation even further. I am sure this is a simple task to have your agent email a scan copy of their international passport or some other Govt. issued identification.
Once we have received this information from your agent the funds will be immediately dispatched to the address listed by bonded courier. The address is: Name: Andre Beck. Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany, Correct? Again the amount that you are requesting be disbursed to you is: $48,400.00 US correct? Would you like that in any specific denomination or will 20's be ok? I am sure you will appreciate the need we have for security and safety when we are dealing with a persons hard earned criminal compensation. It is all in your best interests that we have such policies in place.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to voice them, and I am sure they will be addressed in the timely manner which you deserve. I am looking forward to concluding this case of criminal compensation A.S.A.P. You will be getting exactly what you deserve.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Well I should say more fun for me, and less for her.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that you are correct with all the information. Based on your question,i would like to have the funds in 100 denomination.of course you would honey, and non-sequential as well right?.Please kindly effect the dispatch and send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once you effect the dispatch..Got bad news hon, there will be no airway bill as it will be coming "bonded courier"
Attached here is the scan copy of the international passport of my agent for your perusal..And OBVIOUSLY fake as well.. I didn't attach it due to lost hard drives again....
Looking foward to receiving the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
so I don't answer her, since I don't really feel a need to and besides it's more fun this way...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Good Morning.I belive i have met up with your demands.Please tell me, when are you going to effect the dispatch?Kindly let me know. Finally, do not forget to send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once the dispatch is effected.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Let's see how long she will go without me answering her...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want to know when funds will be dispatched. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
looks like she is getting a bit impatient..
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please kindly let me know what is going on. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, now I suppose I should answer her
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I am in receipt of the identification provided. We are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination you have requested. Your funds will be delivered to Ms. Andrea Beck Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany. It will be delivered to her via bonded courier sent directly from Springfield OH. There is no airway bill as the courier given the nature of the delivery will be flying incognito.
Ms. Beck will of course have to provide her identification to the courier when he/she arrives to deliver the funds to her. The courier will be flying into Berlin within 72 hours, if you would like to send directions to Ms. Beck's address that would be helpful as well. We do want to conclude this business and give you exactly what you have coming to you.
Thank you for your compliance and honesty in regards to this situation. I am sure that once this transaction is concluded I will never have to deal with you again.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hmm I wonder what will happen next?
So I waited a couple days and boy did she get imaptient
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail. i a m very much happy hearing that you are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination i have requested. Please i want to ask you of one favour,when is Ms. Andrea Beck is expecting to receive the package on thursday or on friday? since it is 72hrs.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well I don't think I will answer her yet
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Sir,
I write to inform you that there was a mistake in the address.The correct address is: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY and not DUISBERG (wrong spelling) Please when is the person arriving Germany.mind you that Berlin is not their International Airport.
Finally, how does this bonded courier operates without air way bill? I have never had of this system since i was born. Any way let me see and belive.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Is she eager to get her cash or what??
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want know why the courier would be flying into Berlin from American which is their local AirPort. I want you to know that the nearest Airport to Duisburg is DUSSELDORF AIRPORT and is an International Airport direct from U.S.A. I also want to let you know based on the information given to me my agent that Berlin is too far, because from BERLIN TO DUISBURG is about 650 KM and from Dusseldorf to Duisburg is about 25 KM.
Please kindly give me the name of the person, his/her telephone number so that i can forward it to my agent immediately.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
hehe, now she must be getting nervous, she is worried about how far the courier will have to drive to get the funds to her..Still no answer from me
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please, what is the Situation of thing over there? I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well, I suppose I should answer her now. I think I will throw another "monkey wrench" into her plans, what do you think?
Ref: 06098419004194
In order to deliver what is yours, we needed an address to deliver to and you have provided that to us. That is appreciated, if you did read fully the previous email where the instructions were laid out to you, I do believe it was very clear that your agent would also have to provide a form of identification to us as well. Failure to comply with policies will only delay your criminal compensation even further. I am sure this is a simple task to have your agent email a scan copy of their international passport or some other Govt. issued identification.
Once we have received this information from your agent the funds will be immediately dispatched to the address listed by bonded courier. The address is: Name: Andre Beck. Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany, Correct? Again the amount that you are requesting be disbursed to you is: $48,400.00 US correct? Would you like that in any specific denomination or will 20's be ok? I am sure you will appreciate the need we have for security and safety when we are dealing with a persons hard earned criminal compensation. It is all in your best interests that we have such policies in place.
If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to voice them, and I am sure they will be addressed in the timely manner which you deserve. I am looking forward to concluding this case of criminal compensation A.S.A.P. You will be getting exactly what you deserve.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Well I should say more fun for me, and less for her.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i wish to notify you that you are correct with all the information. Based on your question,i would like to have the funds in 100 denomination.of course you would honey, and non-sequential as well right?.Please kindly effect the dispatch and send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once you effect the dispatch..Got bad news hon, there will be no airway bill as it will be coming "bonded courier"
Attached here is the scan copy of the international passport of my agent for your perusal..And OBVIOUSLY fake as well.. I didn't attach it due to lost hard drives again....
Looking foward to receiving the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
so I don't answer her, since I don't really feel a need to and besides it's more fun this way...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Good Morning.I belive i have met up with your demands.Please tell me, when are you going to effect the dispatch?Kindly let me know. Finally, do not forget to send me the air way bill/tracking number of the consignment once the dispatch is effected.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Let's see how long she will go without me answering her...
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want to know when funds will be dispatched. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
looks like she is getting a bit impatient..
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please kindly let me know what is going on. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
So, now I suppose I should answer her
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I am in receipt of the identification provided. We are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination you have requested. Your funds will be delivered to Ms. Andrea Beck Address Gitschiner Str, 28 47053 Duisberg Germany. It will be delivered to her via bonded courier sent directly from Springfield OH. There is no airway bill as the courier given the nature of the delivery will be flying incognito.
Ms. Beck will of course have to provide her identification to the courier when he/she arrives to deliver the funds to her. The courier will be flying into Berlin within 72 hours, if you would like to send directions to Ms. Beck's address that would be helpful as well. We do want to conclude this business and give you exactly what you have coming to you.
Thank you for your compliance and honesty in regards to this situation. I am sure that once this transaction is concluded I will never have to deal with you again.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hmm I wonder what will happen next?
So I waited a couple days and boy did she get imaptient
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail. i a m very much happy hearing that you are now in the process of packaging the funds in the denomination i have requested. Please i want to ask you of one favour,when is Ms. Andrea Beck is expecting to receive the package on thursday or on friday? since it is 72hrs.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well I don't think I will answer her yet
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Sir,
I write to inform you that there was a mistake in the address.The correct address is: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY and not DUISBERG (wrong spelling) Please when is the person arriving Germany.mind you that Berlin is not their International Airport.
Finally, how does this bonded courier operates without air way bill? I have never had of this system since i was born. Any way let me see and belive.
look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Is she eager to get her cash or what??
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i want know why the courier would be flying into Berlin from American which is their local AirPort. I want you to know that the nearest Airport to Duisburg is DUSSELDORF AIRPORT and is an International Airport direct from U.S.A. I also want to let you know based on the information given to me my agent that Berlin is too far, because from BERLIN TO DUISBURG is about 650 KM and from Dusseldorf to Duisburg is about 25 KM.
Please kindly give me the name of the person, his/her telephone number so that i can forward it to my agent immediately.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
hehe, now she must be getting nervous, she is worried about how far the courier will have to drive to get the funds to her..Still no answer from me
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please, what is the Situation of thing over there? I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Well, I suppose I should answer her now. I think I will throw another "monkey wrench" into her plans, what do you think?
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Religious views in Public Education?
In Cape Town South Africa a Science teacher was forced to QUIT his job after being reprimanded for teaching evolution.
Let me repeat that:
In Cape Town South Africa a Science teacher was forced to QUIT his job after being reprimanded for teaching evolution.
No, that wasn't a typo. You can read the story here.
This is just rediculous. Seriously?!? Teaching evolution, natural selection is a bad thing? What, we should only be educating our children in the ways of the force? What the hell is happening?
I suppose it makes more sense to teach our children that an all powerful, magical being that has NO beginning snapped his fingers and created a diverse world full of amazing creatures that EVOLVE and ADAPT over time (this has been PROVEN) and then this magical, omnipotent being makes sure to deny that evolution is possible. Plants dinosaur bones to confuse and confound the people of the planet in question and has crazy people write a violent poorly written book with conflicting information and instructions to follow which should you choose to follow it will have you sent to "hell" no matter what you do since there is no way to truly win.
That is much better than evolution and natural selection right?
Wow. All I can say is Wow.
I am happier now more than ever that I am an Atheist and can see the truth of things.
Let me repeat that:
In Cape Town South Africa a Science teacher was forced to QUIT his job after being reprimanded for teaching evolution.
No, that wasn't a typo. You can read the story here.
This is just rediculous. Seriously?!? Teaching evolution, natural selection is a bad thing? What, we should only be educating our children in the ways of the force? What the hell is happening?
I suppose it makes more sense to teach our children that an all powerful, magical being that has NO beginning snapped his fingers and created a diverse world full of amazing creatures that EVOLVE and ADAPT over time (this has been PROVEN) and then this magical, omnipotent being makes sure to deny that evolution is possible. Plants dinosaur bones to confuse and confound the people of the planet in question and has crazy people write a violent poorly written book with conflicting information and instructions to follow which should you choose to follow it will have you sent to "hell" no matter what you do since there is no way to truly win.
That is much better than evolution and natural selection right?
Wow. All I can say is Wow.
I am happier now more than ever that I am an Atheist and can see the truth of things.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Freedom of religion is ALSO freedom FROM religion
The Republicans and yes, even some Democrats are supporting the Catholic Bishops in fighting the health care reform that mandates that birth control be covered by health care plans. Their justification for this? You guessed it, the First Amendment!
It's funny isn't it?
They cry Religious freedom then try to shove their beliefs down everyone's throats REGARDLESS of the rest of the populations convictions? So the Catholic Church owns a hospital. Is EVERY employee of that hospital Catholic? I doubt it, since it would be ridiculous to say "If you aren't Catholic, you can't work here." So why should the insurance offered by the hospital to it's employees be exempt from offering birth control coverage? They shouldn't. The only justification for it? Their own arrogance.
These idiots need a dose of humility and logic. They need to understand that the First Amendment not ONLY covers their Freedom to Practice their religion, but it ALSO protects everyone else from being FORCED to practice their religion as well. You see people, the sword cuts both ways.
Politicians and religion are both idiots cut from the same cloth. Rick Santorum is an idiot of the highest caliber. Any one that believes in magical always existing beings that can snap their fingers and make worlds appear and then plant old bones in the ground to "confuse" their believers is an idiot!
Pray to Santa, the Easter Bunny or anyone else. It's all the same...
Let's keep America and the world free from Religious Idoicy.
Keep it logical.
It's funny isn't it?
They cry Religious freedom then try to shove their beliefs down everyone's throats REGARDLESS of the rest of the populations convictions? So the Catholic Church owns a hospital. Is EVERY employee of that hospital Catholic? I doubt it, since it would be ridiculous to say "If you aren't Catholic, you can't work here." So why should the insurance offered by the hospital to it's employees be exempt from offering birth control coverage? They shouldn't. The only justification for it? Their own arrogance.
These idiots need a dose of humility and logic. They need to understand that the First Amendment not ONLY covers their Freedom to Practice their religion, but it ALSO protects everyone else from being FORCED to practice their religion as well. You see people, the sword cuts both ways.
Politicians and religion are both idiots cut from the same cloth. Rick Santorum is an idiot of the highest caliber. Any one that believes in magical always existing beings that can snap their fingers and make worlds appear and then plant old bones in the ground to "confuse" their believers is an idiot!
Pray to Santa, the Easter Bunny or anyone else. It's all the same...
Let's keep America and the world free from Religious Idoicy.
Keep it logical.
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 8
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i write to know if you have transferred the funds into my account.If so, kindly send me the Receipt of the Payment Slip via e-mail attachment.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
At the same time she emails Tits Mchgee to find out if he will help her out.
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How are you and the church? Sir, i write to let you know that i have completed and done everything i was asked to do.They saidthey would released the funds to me under 24 to 48 hrs but i have notheard anything from them since last week friday. Could you pleasehelp me find out if they have transfereed the funds into the account imandated them to use. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So Tits Mcghee has to answer and allay her fears right? OH and add some more bait to the game just to keep her going.
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I have spoken to the head auditor, and he informed me that he sent you an email informing you of how to proceed with your case. I pray to the great phallus that all will work out for you and that you will be able to build the Church of the Assimilated Virgin to great heights in the Phillipines.
Once you have received the funds, please let me know so that I may make arrangements for the shipment of cellular phones, computers and various electronic devices to assist you in building the church in your area. I would also like to know so that we can arrange for the travel of missionaries to your area as well.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now Apu has to respond just to keep her going, and of course to throw a monkey wrench into her plans as well..Read on intrepid fans and you will see what I mean
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We have received your request of expedition. Your claim is being processed as quickly as possible. Your funds will be delivered to the address you provided by bonded courier, if the funds cannot be delivered to #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines. You will need to specify another address to which they will be delivered. Unfortunately, we are bound by policy and are unable to wire transfer the funds as we are required by policy and law to physically deliver the funds to you or an agent that you specify.
If you wish to specify another agent to collect the funds, you will need to have them provide their identification and an address where the funds can be delivered to them. Your only other option would be to have the funds delivered to the US Embassy in the Philippines where you would be able to collect them directly from the Embassy.
Please forward the information as to how you would like to proceed.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Now I am SURE this will give her fits! I wonder if she will just call the jig up or what she will do?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i demanded that you should send the funds into the account number i have given to you.Please the only option i have apart from wire transfer is to transfer the funds to my agents in europe via westerner union money transfer apart from this no any other options would be acceptable by me ok.
Please try to contact Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder) he will tell you much why i have refused anyother options apart from the options i have given.
Finally, Please kindly transfer the funds into the account i have given you. I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Oh oh oh, NOW she is demanding something from the Police? How brave considering that she holds no weight with the department
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Your last communication strikes me as not completely honest. Generally when we process claims such as yours, the individuals are more than happy to have the funds delivered to themselves or a designated agent.
In order to process your claim further, you will have to comply to our procedure. Police Department policy is that we only disburse funds in the manner previously given to you. We cannot issue the funds to you via wire transfer as that does not comply with department policy and procedures.
If you wish to claim the funds that you stated are due you, you will immediately inform myself and the department which option would best suit you. Speaking to HPE Tits Mcghee will do nothing as I cannot deviate from department policy. Inform me of where you would like the funds delivered and they will be immediately disbursed to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Better and better, hmmmm I can't wait to see if she decides to give me what I want...
Mr Attn:TitsMcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i wishto notify you that you should please help me tell them that they shouldwire the funds in the account number i gave them.It will be easier forme to collect the funds.You know what my family and i are facing and iwouldn't any body in my country to know that i have some business doingiut side.Below is the mail the sent to them and my reply tothem.
She then attached a copy of the email that Apu sent to her and then she again begged for help from Tits. There wont' be any or a response for that matter but she can certainly beg eh?
Please help me talk to this people i have doneeverything they asked me to do and this time arounf they have to adhearto my directives.Let them know that they are making things too hard forme.
Jeezus the whining is getting out of hand now aint it?? It took her about 3 days, but she finally got back to me with the information I knew she would. And what do you know? Her new friend that will be picking up the funds in now in Germany!
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
I am very sorry that i have not be able to reach you since all these while.I have been on the sick bed for some days now SUUURE YOU ARE!.Please kindly forgive me if i have done something wrong.The only thing you did wrong was try to steal from me!.
Please find below is the name and the address of my agent in germany who will receive the funds on my behalf.
NAME : ANDREA BECK
ADDRESS: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY
Please kindly deliver that which belongs to me Oh, honey you will get what's coming to you I PROMISE! via the above given name and address and send the air waybill /tracking number once you effect the dispatch to me.
Have a very nice weekend.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Now Apu has to respond with some more fun and "hoops" for the idiot to jump through. Oh, it's been over a month now and she STILL hasn't been paid!! Gooooo ME!
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Please i write to know if you have transferred the funds into my account.If so, kindly send me the Receipt of the Payment Slip via e-mail attachment.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
At the same time she emails Tits Mchgee to find out if he will help her out.
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
How are you and the church? Sir, i write to let you know that i have completed and done everything i was asked to do.They saidthey would released the funds to me under 24 to 48 hrs but i have notheard anything from them since last week friday. Could you pleasehelp me find out if they have transfereed the funds into the account imandated them to use. I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So Tits Mcghee has to answer and allay her fears right? OH and add some more bait to the game just to keep her going.
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr.Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estrada,
I have spoken to the head auditor, and he informed me that he sent you an email informing you of how to proceed with your case. I pray to the great phallus that all will work out for you and that you will be able to build the Church of the Assimilated Virgin to great heights in the Phillipines.
Once you have received the funds, please let me know so that I may make arrangements for the shipment of cellular phones, computers and various electronic devices to assist you in building the church in your area. I would also like to know so that we can arrange for the travel of missionaries to your area as well.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
Now Apu has to respond just to keep her going, and of course to throw a monkey wrench into her plans as well..Read on intrepid fans and you will see what I mean
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We have received your request of expedition. Your claim is being processed as quickly as possible. Your funds will be delivered to the address you provided by bonded courier, if the funds cannot be delivered to #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines. You will need to specify another address to which they will be delivered. Unfortunately, we are bound by policy and are unable to wire transfer the funds as we are required by policy and law to physically deliver the funds to you or an agent that you specify.
If you wish to specify another agent to collect the funds, you will need to have them provide their identification and an address where the funds can be delivered to them. Your only other option would be to have the funds delivered to the US Embassy in the Philippines where you would be able to collect them directly from the Embassy.
Please forward the information as to how you would like to proceed.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Now I am SURE this will give her fits! I wonder if she will just call the jig up or what she will do?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your mail and i demanded that you should send the funds into the account number i have given to you.Please the only option i have apart from wire transfer is to transfer the funds to my agents in europe via westerner union money transfer apart from this no any other options would be acceptable by me ok.
Please try to contact Tits Mcghee(High PhallicElder) he will tell you much why i have refused anyother options apart from the options i have given.
Finally, Please kindly transfer the funds into the account i have given you. I look forward to receiving the Receipt of the Payment Slip from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Oh oh oh, NOW she is demanding something from the Police? How brave considering that she holds no weight with the department
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Your last communication strikes me as not completely honest. Generally when we process claims such as yours, the individuals are more than happy to have the funds delivered to themselves or a designated agent.
In order to process your claim further, you will have to comply to our procedure. Police Department policy is that we only disburse funds in the manner previously given to you. We cannot issue the funds to you via wire transfer as that does not comply with department policy and procedures.
If you wish to claim the funds that you stated are due you, you will immediately inform myself and the department which option would best suit you. Speaking to HPE Tits Mcghee will do nothing as I cannot deviate from department policy. Inform me of where you would like the funds delivered and they will be immediately disbursed to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Better and better, hmmmm I can't wait to see if she decides to give me what I want...
Mr Attn:TitsMcghee(High PhallicElder)
Sir,
Thanks for your mail and i wishto notify you that you should please help me tell them that they shouldwire the funds in the account number i gave them.It will be easier forme to collect the funds.You know what my family and i are facing and iwouldn't any body in my country to know that i have some business doingiut side.Below is the mail the sent to them and my reply tothem.
She then attached a copy of the email that Apu sent to her and then she again begged for help from Tits. There wont' be any or a response for that matter but she can certainly beg eh?
Please help me talk to this people i have doneeverything they asked me to do and this time arounf they have to adhearto my directives.Let them know that they are making things too hard forme.
Jeezus the whining is getting out of hand now aint it?? It took her about 3 days, but she finally got back to me with the information I knew she would. And what do you know? Her new friend that will be picking up the funds in now in Germany!
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
I am very sorry that i have not be able to reach you since all these while.I have been on the sick bed for some days now SUUURE YOU ARE!.Please kindly forgive me if i have done something wrong.The only thing you did wrong was try to steal from me!.
Please find below is the name and the address of my agent in germany who will receive the funds on my behalf.
NAME : ANDREA BECK
ADDRESS: GITSCHINER STR, 28 47053 DUISBURG GERMANY
Please kindly deliver that which belongs to me Oh, honey you will get what's coming to you I PROMISE! via the above given name and address and send the air waybill /tracking number once you effect the dispatch to me.
Have a very nice weekend.
I look forward to your urgent reply.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Now Apu has to respond with some more fun and "hoops" for the idiot to jump through. Oh, it's been over a month now and she STILL hasn't been paid!! Gooooo ME!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 7
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Thanksfor your kind help since all these while and i pray that God Almightwill bring a helper to you in the days of problems. you mean like you for example??
Please help meask him if there is anything i need to do again because i have not heardfrom him since i sent the attachment to him.
I look forward to yoururgent reply. Thank you and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And now back to the story with the good Dr. and Chief Wiggum
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -02-07-1932.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27-02-2006.
Nb: My son Jude made a mistake on my Date of Birth, which i have corrected.
Sir, i want to know if i can print it out to enable me sign my signature or is there anything i need to do.Please just let me know.
So the chief gets back to her..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Yes you need to print out the letter, fill it out and sign it, scan it and email the letter back to me.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Can she REALLY be that stupid??
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your kindly help and i pray that God Almight will surely send a helper to you in the day of problem.
Sir, find attached is the scam OOOH Sister, you have NO idea!! copy of your demands and i pray that i have passed the examination this time around and if not, please kindly let me know where i have failed so that i can quick correct it.
I look forward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And she did send me a copy of the paperwork, unfortunately I didn't attach it as it has been lost to an old hard drive..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have recieved your mail. Your information and claim are now being processed by our auditing department. This is standard procedure in all cases of criminal compensation.
The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan will be handling your case. He is a very competent Auditor and should be able to have your compensation ready for you in a very short amount of time. His job is simply to make sure that all is in order before the criminal compensation is sent to you.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
So the chief told her that she would be getting her funds right?
Attn: Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Thanks for your mail.As you have given me help in this matter,May the Almight God send a helper to you that will help you in the days of problems.
Infact, i really thank God for your life and all the efforts you have so far made to help. You will not see shame in your life, The arrows of the evil one will never know you and your family,God will forever protect your going out and your coming in.Untimely death will never be your portion.You will never burial your children but your children will be the one to burial you at your old age in Jesus Name Amen.Once again thank you very much for all efforts you have made so far.
Finally, i shall be contacting him soonest.But please, you could tell me what i will write to him please so that i will not make any mistake.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
I don't respond. Why should the Chief have to talk to her anymore?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Jumping the gun a bit aren't we? You haven't even jumped through all the hoops yet honey
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Ohh, now she's really getting impatient. Well, I guess it's time for Apu to make his appearance
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are processing your claim as quickly as possible. We do have policies and procedures in place to handle these sorts of things. As far as sending payment advice, that is not necessary as we always use either a bonded courier to deliver the funds directly to you or a designated individual, or you come to our offices and pick up the money in person. That would be why your address was necessary, we need someplace to have the funds delivered to.
If you would like to expedite the processing of your claim and get your funds released faster, you can submit the following request to our department, and it can be taken into consideration. I have attached a copy of the letter below. If you wish to do this you would need to print, and fill out the form and then send it back to me. Once this is done, generally we can release the funds to you within 24 to 48 hours.
_____________________________________________________________________
To: Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Agent Nahasapimapetilan,
Sir, my name is____________________________. I am writing you to request a hardship expediting of my Criminal Compensation. I am in dire need of the funds which have been wrongfully kept from my honest and decent person. I am suffering from Tribble Infections/Opressive Government/Cornholeitis/ Phallic Envy. I request that the sum of $________________. Be released to me A.S.A.P. or, as soon as the Springfield Police Department (Criminal Compensation Division) feel the need to compensate me for my Criminal Action.
I ___________________________, Do swear that I have been 100% honest in all my dealings with the SPDCCD, and that I will use the funds which are righfully mine for the purpose of which they were initially intended.
I, __________________________, Understand that I am solely responsible for all costs incurred by SPDCCD in the delivery and transfer of said Compensation to me, and that I will recompense the department for all expenses incurred.
Once, the Compensation has been disbursed to me, I understand that I will no longer place myself in a baiting situation, and if I do get myself baited again, I will make sure that I perform in much the same manner as I have this time. My honesty and integrity intact, I swear on all that is my cornhole that I will do my best to be the proudly compensated moron that I am able to be.
This letter is my statement of formal intention to have my case expedited, so that I can receive what is coming to me as quickly as possible. I am sure that I deserve everything that I will receive from this transaction. My compensation will be just as well as swift. Again, I am more than deserving of everything I am going to receive in this transaction.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
SIGN YOUR NAME
WRITE DATE HERE
____________________________________________________________________
Once I receive this letter from you, I would be able to expedite your case and get you everything you have coming to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hehehe, just another BS letter for her to sign and email back to me...
Like clockwork,she sends my back the letter dutifully signed and ready to go..
and of course she sends me another note with it.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Find attched is the returning form.
Please i will like my funds to be transferred into this account information below via Swift Transfer or by Telegraphic Transfer.
Bank of China New York.
Aba no:026003269.
Swift:BKCHUS33.
Cr.to.Swift code:BKCHCNBJ92D.
A/C No:875118267308091001.
A/c Name:ZHEJIANG JIANPEI TEXTILES CO.LTD.
Please let the funds be transferred into the above given account information and forward the receipt of the Payment Slip to me via e-mail attachment.
Looking forward to receiving the copy of the Payment Slip soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Now we ALL KNOW I won't be sending the money to THAT account
Sir,
Thanksfor your kind help since all these while and i pray that God Almightwill bring a helper to you in the days of problems. you mean like you for example??
Please help meask him if there is anything i need to do again because i have not heardfrom him since i sent the attachment to him.
I look forward to yoururgent reply. Thank you and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And now back to the story with the good Dr. and Chief Wiggum
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -02-07-1932.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27-02-2006.
Nb: My son Jude made a mistake on my Date of Birth, which i have corrected.
Sir, i want to know if i can print it out to enable me sign my signature or is there anything i need to do.Please just let me know.
So the chief gets back to her..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Yes you need to print out the letter, fill it out and sign it, scan it and email the letter back to me.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Can she REALLY be that stupid??
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your kindly help and i pray that God Almight will surely send a helper to you in the day of problem.
Sir, find attached is the scam OOOH Sister, you have NO idea!! copy of your demands and i pray that i have passed the examination this time around and if not, please kindly let me know where i have failed so that i can quick correct it.
I look forward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And she did send me a copy of the paperwork, unfortunately I didn't attach it as it has been lost to an old hard drive..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have recieved your mail. Your information and claim are now being processed by our auditing department. This is standard procedure in all cases of criminal compensation.
The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan will be handling your case. He is a very competent Auditor and should be able to have your compensation ready for you in a very short amount of time. His job is simply to make sure that all is in order before the criminal compensation is sent to you.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
So the chief told her that she would be getting her funds right?
Attn: Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Thanks for your mail.As you have given me help in this matter,May the Almight God send a helper to you that will help you in the days of problems.
Infact, i really thank God for your life and all the efforts you have so far made to help. You will not see shame in your life, The arrows of the evil one will never know you and your family,God will forever protect your going out and your coming in.Untimely death will never be your portion.You will never burial your children but your children will be the one to burial you at your old age in Jesus Name Amen.Once again thank you very much for all efforts you have made so far.
Finally, i shall be contacting him soonest.But please, you could tell me what i will write to him please so that i will not make any mistake.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
I don't respond. Why should the Chief have to talk to her anymore?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Jumping the gun a bit aren't we? You haven't even jumped through all the hoops yet honey
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Ohh, now she's really getting impatient. Well, I guess it's time for Apu to make his appearance
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are processing your claim as quickly as possible. We do have policies and procedures in place to handle these sorts of things. As far as sending payment advice, that is not necessary as we always use either a bonded courier to deliver the funds directly to you or a designated individual, or you come to our offices and pick up the money in person. That would be why your address was necessary, we need someplace to have the funds delivered to.
If you would like to expedite the processing of your claim and get your funds released faster, you can submit the following request to our department, and it can be taken into consideration. I have attached a copy of the letter below. If you wish to do this you would need to print, and fill out the form and then send it back to me. Once this is done, generally we can release the funds to you within 24 to 48 hours.
_____________________________________________________________________
To: Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Agent Nahasapimapetilan,
Sir, my name is____________________________. I am writing you to request a hardship expediting of my Criminal Compensation. I am in dire need of the funds which have been wrongfully kept from my honest and decent person. I am suffering from Tribble Infections/Opressive Government/Cornholeitis/ Phallic Envy. I request that the sum of $________________. Be released to me A.S.A.P. or, as soon as the Springfield Police Department (Criminal Compensation Division) feel the need to compensate me for my Criminal Action.
I ___________________________, Do swear that I have been 100% honest in all my dealings with the SPDCCD, and that I will use the funds which are righfully mine for the purpose of which they were initially intended.
I, __________________________, Understand that I am solely responsible for all costs incurred by SPDCCD in the delivery and transfer of said Compensation to me, and that I will recompense the department for all expenses incurred.
Once, the Compensation has been disbursed to me, I understand that I will no longer place myself in a baiting situation, and if I do get myself baited again, I will make sure that I perform in much the same manner as I have this time. My honesty and integrity intact, I swear on all that is my cornhole that I will do my best to be the proudly compensated moron that I am able to be.
This letter is my statement of formal intention to have my case expedited, so that I can receive what is coming to me as quickly as possible. I am sure that I deserve everything that I will receive from this transaction. My compensation will be just as well as swift. Again, I am more than deserving of everything I am going to receive in this transaction.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
SIGN YOUR NAME
WRITE DATE HERE
____________________________________________________________________
Once I receive this letter from you, I would be able to expedite your case and get you everything you have coming to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hehehe, just another BS letter for her to sign and email back to me...
Like clockwork,she sends my back the letter dutifully signed and ready to go..
and of course she sends me another note with it.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Find attched is the returning form.
Please i will like my funds to be transferred into this account information below via Swift Transfer or by Telegraphic Transfer.
Bank of China New York.
Aba no:026003269.
Swift:BKCHUS33.
Cr.to.Swift code:BKCHCNBJ92D.
A/C No:875118267308091001.
A/c Name:ZHEJIANG JIANPEI TEXTILES CO.LTD.
Please let the funds be transferred into the above given account information and forward the receipt of the Payment Slip to me via e-mail attachment.
Looking forward to receiving the copy of the Payment Slip soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Now we ALL KNOW I won't be sending the money to THAT account
Saturday, March 3, 2012
A Nigerian Scammer Joins "My Church" pt 6
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have received your email, but you have not met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you to sign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also, we will need a physical address not just your city and country. Without this information, I would not be able to process your claim.
I have spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are able to be a bit more lenient on information such as a phone number or passport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get all the way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter for you to return to me once again, please get it right this time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your name
Your address (Full address)
Your telephone number (not required)
Date of birth
Today's date.
SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police Criminal Compensation Department
Dear Mr. Wiggum,
C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194
This letter is to certify that I am the above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400.
Please find attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to the donation payment due to me.
Sincerely,
SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter)
Date: WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date)
_____________________________________________________
I am sure this will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that we will be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have not completed all the required paperwork and information, your case will be closed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimed as yours.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Hehe, give her a deadline and see if she will capitulate to me.
Now she runs whining to Tits Mcghee thinking that will change things...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High
PhallicElder) Sir, Please this man Chief Wiggum is making things
to hard for meto bear. Yea I am SURE he is...Below is the mail he sent to
me. .......................................................DearMrs. Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I am in receipt of your emaildated February 24, 2006. As you may have been informed, we arecurrently
investigating a person who has previously had contact withyou, namely one Mr. Gaylord Fagg. Mr. Fagg is currently incarcerated inour custody on preliminary charges of money laundering, theft, identitytheft, and
suspicion of passing around the Tribble virus with intent to infect people. My division is in charge of Criminal Compensations and Investigations and we authorise intermediate payments to victimsof
crime. I understand on reading your case notes that yourentitlement
is US $58,400. Of course you will understand that beforeI can authorise such a payment you will be required to send me proof ofyour identification to ensure that this payment is sent to theentitled
person, so please would you forward me a scan of your international passport and a signed letter with thefollowing statement: ----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------- Your name Your address Your telephone
number Date ofbirth Today's date. SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum-
SpringfieldPolice Criminal Compensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is tocertify that I am the above named person and I am entitled
to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of
theAssimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US
$58,400. Please find attached a copy of my official identification
which Iconfirm is a true representation of me. I confirm that during thecourse of my communication with all members of The Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has beentruthful
and factually correct and that if any false information hasbeen given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to thedonation payment due to me. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME Date:WRITE THE
DATE Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPD CriminalCompensation Department. Find below is my reply to him. ....................................................... Attn:ChiefCharlie Wiggum Sir FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194. Below are the information Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. Address: Manila- Philippine My phone number-Not
available Date ofBirth -2nd july,1961. Dear Mr. Wiggum. Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194. This letter isto
certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000Plus
Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can startthe church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area. Please find belowthe attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is atrue
representation of me. I confirm that during the course ofmy communication with all members of the Church of the AssimilatedVirgin that all information i have given has been truthful andfactually
correct and that if any false information has been given inany form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation paymentdue to me. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada Date:27th
Feb,2006.. Find below his mail to me this morning. ....................................................... Mrs.
Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I have received your email, but you havenot met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you tosign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also,
we willneed a physical address not just your city and country. Without thisinformation, I would not be able to process your claim. Ihave spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are ableto be a
bit more lenient on information such as a phone number orpassport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get allthe way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter foryou to return
to me once again, please get it right this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Your name Your address (Full address) Yourtelephone number (not required) Date of birth Today's date. SPD: Chief
Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police CriminalCompensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. ReferenceNumber: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is to certify that I amthe above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment,authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the AssimilatedVirgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400. Pleasefind attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is atrue representation of me. I confirm that during the course of mycommunication with all
members of The Church of the Assimilated Virginthat all information I have given has been truthful and factuallycorrect and that if any false information has been given in any form Ishall immediately lose all
entitlement to the donation payment due tome. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter) Date:WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date) _____________________________________________________ I am surethis will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that wewill be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have notcompleted all the required paperwork and information, your case will beclosed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimedas yours. Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPDCriminal Compensation Department ....................................................... Please TitsMcghee(High Elder) what do you advise that i should do now? comply with what he wants STUPID!!!Please i amgetting tried of everything and with the way things are going now, aresome information that i don't need give out for security
reason becausei don't know who spy or not. Please advise and help me talk tochief Charlie Wiggum. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs louisaPimentelEstrada.
So the HPE has to respond, and respond he does...
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estroda,
I do not understand what else I can do for you.I have asked Chief Wiggum to be more lenient and he told me that he was willing to forgo the need for a phone number and a copy of your passport given your current dire situation. He is simply asking that you give him an address and a signed letter, so that he may proceed with disbursing the funds that are yours.
As to the question of whether or not you can trust Chief Wiggum, he is an altar servicer in the Church, and has been an upstanding member of the Church for more than 10 years now.If you feel you cannot trust a member of the Church, I am not sure how we would be able to help you further. I would instruct you to simply comply with the requirements of the Police Department so that you can complete this as soon as humanly possible.
I am sure that you understand, but it is very disturbing to hear that you would accuse amember of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin of duplicity or of being a spy. If you remember in Article 1 of your membership agreement, you agreed to obey the instructions of the Church Leadership. I have already instructed you to simply comply with Chief Wiggum and all would be taken care of. If you cannot do that, I am afraid I cannot help you further. I am not able to change Police Department policy, Chief Wiggum may be a member of the Church, but I cannot interfere with the way he performs his duties.
My suggestion to you would be to work as faithfully and honestly as you can with him,and I am sure that you will get satisfaction and wet as well. You have already proven to be a great and baited member of the Church and I would hate for you not to get your just desserts. I am eagerly waiting to see the outcome of this in a way that will be enlightening and good for all honest parties concerned.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
TitsMcghee
High Phallic Elder
I wonder, will she take it to heart?
Ref: 06098419004194
I have received your email, but you have not met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you to sign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also, we will need a physical address not just your city and country. Without this information, I would not be able to process your claim.
I have spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are able to be a bit more lenient on information such as a phone number or passport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get all the way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter for you to return to me once again, please get it right this time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your name
Your address (Full address)
Your telephone number (not required)
Date of birth
Today's date.
SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police Criminal Compensation Department
Dear Mr. Wiggum,
C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194
This letter is to certify that I am the above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400.
Please find attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to the donation payment due to me.
Sincerely,
SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter)
Date: WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date)
_____________________________________________________
I am sure this will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that we will be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have not completed all the required paperwork and information, your case will be closed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimed as yours.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Hehe, give her a deadline and see if she will capitulate to me.
Now she runs whining to Tits Mcghee thinking that will change things...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High
PhallicElder) Sir, Please this man Chief Wiggum is making things
to hard for meto bear. Yea I am SURE he is...Below is the mail he sent to
me. .......................................................DearMrs. Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I am in receipt of your emaildated February 24, 2006. As you may have been informed, we arecurrently
investigating a person who has previously had contact withyou, namely one Mr. Gaylord Fagg. Mr. Fagg is currently incarcerated inour custody on preliminary charges of money laundering, theft, identitytheft, and
suspicion of passing around the Tribble virus with intent to infect people. My division is in charge of Criminal Compensations and Investigations and we authorise intermediate payments to victimsof
crime. I understand on reading your case notes that yourentitlement
is US $58,400. Of course you will understand that beforeI can authorise such a payment you will be required to send me proof ofyour identification to ensure that this payment is sent to theentitled
person, so please would you forward me a scan of your international passport and a signed letter with thefollowing statement: ----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------- Your name Your address Your telephone
number Date ofbirth Today's date. SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum-
SpringfieldPolice Criminal Compensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is tocertify that I am the above named person and I am entitled
to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of
theAssimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US
$58,400. Please find attached a copy of my official identification
which Iconfirm is a true representation of me. I confirm that during thecourse of my communication with all members of The Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has beentruthful
and factually correct and that if any false information hasbeen given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to thedonation payment due to me. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME Date:WRITE THE
DATE Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPD CriminalCompensation Department. Find below is my reply to him. ....................................................... Attn:ChiefCharlie Wiggum Sir FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194. Below are the information Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. Address: Manila- Philippine My phone number-Not
available Date ofBirth -2nd july,1961. Dear Mr. Wiggum. Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194. This letter isto
certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000Plus
Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can startthe church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area. Please find belowthe attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is atrue
representation of me. I confirm that during the course ofmy communication with all members of the Church of the AssimilatedVirgin that all information i have given has been truthful andfactually
correct and that if any false information has been given inany form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation paymentdue to me. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada Date:27th
Feb,2006.. Find below his mail to me this morning. ....................................................... Mrs.
Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I have received your email, but you havenot met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you tosign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also,
we willneed a physical address not just your city and country. Without thisinformation, I would not be able to process your claim. Ihave spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are ableto be a
bit more lenient on information such as a phone number orpassport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get allthe way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter foryou to return
to me once again, please get it right this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Your name Your address (Full address) Yourtelephone number (not required) Date of birth Today's date. SPD: Chief
Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police CriminalCompensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. ReferenceNumber: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is to certify that I amthe above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment,authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the AssimilatedVirgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400. Pleasefind attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is atrue representation of me. I confirm that during the course of mycommunication with all
members of The Church of the Assimilated Virginthat all information I have given has been truthful and factuallycorrect and that if any false information has been given in any form Ishall immediately lose all
entitlement to the donation payment due tome. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter) Date:WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date) _____________________________________________________ I am surethis will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that wewill be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have notcompleted all the required paperwork and information, your case will beclosed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimedas yours. Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPDCriminal Compensation Department ....................................................... Please TitsMcghee(High Elder) what do you advise that i should do now? comply with what he wants STUPID!!!Please i amgetting tried of everything and with the way things are going now, aresome information that i don't need give out for security
reason becausei don't know who spy or not. Please advise and help me talk tochief Charlie Wiggum. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs louisaPimentelEstrada.
So the HPE has to respond, and respond he does...
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estroda,
I do not understand what else I can do for you.I have asked Chief Wiggum to be more lenient and he told me that he was willing to forgo the need for a phone number and a copy of your passport given your current dire situation. He is simply asking that you give him an address and a signed letter, so that he may proceed with disbursing the funds that are yours.
As to the question of whether or not you can trust Chief Wiggum, he is an altar servicer in the Church, and has been an upstanding member of the Church for more than 10 years now.If you feel you cannot trust a member of the Church, I am not sure how we would be able to help you further. I would instruct you to simply comply with the requirements of the Police Department so that you can complete this as soon as humanly possible.
I am sure that you understand, but it is very disturbing to hear that you would accuse amember of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin of duplicity or of being a spy. If you remember in Article 1 of your membership agreement, you agreed to obey the instructions of the Church Leadership. I have already instructed you to simply comply with Chief Wiggum and all would be taken care of. If you cannot do that, I am afraid I cannot help you further. I am not able to change Police Department policy, Chief Wiggum may be a member of the Church, but I cannot interfere with the way he performs his duties.
My suggestion to you would be to work as faithfully and honestly as you can with him,and I am sure that you will get satisfaction and wet as well. You have already proven to be a great and baited member of the Church and I would hate for you not to get your just desserts. I am eagerly waiting to see the outcome of this in a way that will be enlightening and good for all honest parties concerned.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
TitsMcghee
High Phallic Elder
I wonder, will she take it to heart?
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