From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
It is good to hear that our efforts to assist you are appreciated. It is erection inducing to know that you are ready and willing to receive the sacraments of the Great Phallus, and that you do wish to become one with the Testimonial Testicles.
To answer your question the Sock Washing Drive will be finished mid week and we will have the funds immediately transferred by Western onion to you so that you will be able to feed your starving presidential family. I am sure that your caviar supplies are running low now.
Fellations 5:77 " Eat of the Phallus, drink of the Phallus and you shall be strong and virginal before the Lord of Hostess. All who come before the Great Phallus on bended knee in supplication shall receive their reward."
Since you are fast becoming a solid member of the Church, it is incumbent upon me that I make this request of you now. In order for you to take the next step within the teachings of the Great Phallus, you must begin the Rite of Aid or CVS Pharmasy program. What this requires is your diligence, faith and above all your willingness to see the program through.
The requirements of the program are as follows:
1. Bring 2 new members into the fold of the Church. (they must also sign and send to us a copy of the membership agreement.)
2. Supply a photo of the new members holding a sign bearing their allegiance to the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. Something like "I have been Assimilated" will be fine.
3. Send the Church a handwritten letter describing how you will offer your corn hole as a place of solace and refuge to all Sailors, Inmates, and men of consience.
4. Denounce all former religous ties to any other religion with a formal declaration of faith.
5. Observe the holy day of Fellatrixation (May 2) by standing naked in your window for 1 hour before sunrise and before sunset. (provide photo of this if possible).
Once you have completed these tasks, you will be more on your way to becoming a great and trusted member of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.
I am looking forward to hearing from you and welcoming you into the fold of the Great Phallus.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
so, she writes back thinking that she can avoid the "tasks" I have laid out for her. I DON'T THINK SO!
Attn: Tits Mcghee(High hallicElder)
Sir
How are you today?No newsfrom you yet. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thank you andGod bless us all.
Warmest Regards
Dr. Mrs. Luisa PimentelEstrada.
So of course I write back and put her back on track. This should be a fun little round of email blasting teehee
From: Tits Mcghee H.P.E.
To: Dr. Mrs. Louisa Pimentil Estrada
Sister Estrada,
The Church is doing wonderfully. We are very blessed to be part of such a great and powerful faith as the Church of the Assimilated Virgin. I confer upon you the blessing of the Kuhm Burping Fellatrix. It is a great honor to have this blessing given to you, and I hope that you will proudly tell all with whom you speak of this great blessing!
How is it coming with the tasks that I have set before you? Have you accomplished them yet? I have not heard from you regarding them, it is very concerning to me that I have not heard from you regarding these simple requests.
Eurethra 17:23 "For he that completeth all things shall feel the glory of the great Phallus. Yea, even the lowly Pubococcus shall be blessed in the great and wonderful glory hole."
Let me know when you have completed the tasks that I have set before you and great blessings of prosperity and wealth shall be yours forever.
May the Great Phallus keep you wet.
Tits Mcghee
High Phallic Elder
She never responded to me after this email. I think she got tired of the game and moved on to 'easier marks'. It's sad really, I was having tons of fun at her expense.
I hope you enjoyed this little saga, I hope to have much more fun doing many other things and letting you ALL know about it!
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