Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have received your email, but you have not met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you to sign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also, we will need a physical address not just your city and country. Without this information, I would not be able to process your claim.
I have spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are able to be a bit more lenient on information such as a phone number or passport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get all the way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter for you to return to me once again, please get it right this time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your name
Your address (Full address)
Your telephone number (not required)
Date of birth
Today's date.
SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police Criminal Compensation Department
Dear Mr. Wiggum,
C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194
This letter is to certify that I am the above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400.
Please find attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to the donation payment due to me.
Sincerely,
SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter)
Date: WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date)
_____________________________________________________
I am sure this will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that we will be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have not completed all the required paperwork and information, your case will be closed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimed as yours.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Hehe, give her a deadline and see if she will capitulate to me.
Now she runs whining to Tits Mcghee thinking that will change things...
Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High
PhallicElder) Sir, Please this man Chief Wiggum is making things
to hard for meto bear. Yea I am SURE he is...Below is the mail he sent to
me. .......................................................DearMrs. Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I am in receipt of your emaildated February 24, 2006. As you may have been informed, we arecurrently
investigating a person who has previously had contact withyou, namely one Mr. Gaylord Fagg. Mr. Fagg is currently incarcerated inour custody on preliminary charges of money laundering, theft, identitytheft, and
suspicion of passing around the Tribble virus with intent to infect people. My division is in charge of Criminal Compensations and Investigations and we authorise intermediate payments to victimsof
crime. I understand on reading your case notes that yourentitlement
is US $58,400. Of course you will understand that beforeI can authorise such a payment you will be required to send me proof ofyour identification to ensure that this payment is sent to theentitled
person, so please would you forward me a scan of your international passport and a signed letter with thefollowing statement: ----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------- Your name Your address Your telephone
number Date ofbirth Today's date. SPD: Chief Charlie Wiggum-
SpringfieldPolice Criminal Compensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. Reference Number: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is tocertify that I am the above named person and I am entitled
to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of
theAssimilated Virgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US
$58,400. Please find attached a copy of my official identification
which Iconfirm is a true representation of me. I confirm that during thecourse of my communication with all members of The Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin that all information I have given has beentruthful
and factually correct and that if any false information hasbeen given in any form I shall immediately lose all entitlement to thedonation payment due to me. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME Date:WRITE THE
DATE Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPD CriminalCompensation Department. Find below is my reply to him. ....................................................... Attn:ChiefCharlie Wiggum Sir FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194. Below are the information Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada. Address: Manila- Philippine My phone number-Not
available Date ofBirth -2nd july,1961. Dear Mr. Wiggum. Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194. This letter isto
certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to adonation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church ofthe Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000Plus
Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can startthe church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area. Please find belowthe attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is atrue
representation of me. I confirm that during the course ofmy communication with all members of the Church of the AssimilatedVirgin that all information i have given has been truthful andfactually
correct and that if any false information has been given inany form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation paymentdue to me. Warmest Regards Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada Date:27th
Feb,2006.. Find below his mail to me this morning. ....................................................... Mrs.
Estrada, Ref: 06098419004194 I have received your email, but you havenot met the requirements as of yet. I specifically instructed you tosign and date the letter, not type in your name and date. Also,
we willneed a physical address not just your city and country. Without thisinformation, I would not be able to process your claim. Ihave spoken with H.P.E Tits Mcghee, and informed him that we are ableto be a
bit more lenient on information such as a phone number orpassport given your situation, but we cannot allow ourselves to get allthe way away from the proper procedure. I have included the letter foryou to return
to me once again, please get it right this time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- Your name Your address (Full address) Yourtelephone number (not required) Date of birth Today's date. SPD: Chief
Charlie Wiggum- Springfield Police CriminalCompensation Department Dear Mr. Wiggum, C.R.A.B. ReferenceNumber: Ref: 06098419004194 This letter is to certify that I amthe above named person and I am entitled to a donation payment,authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of The Church of the AssimilatedVirgin. The total payment I am entitled to is US $58,400. Pleasefind attached a copy of my official identification which I confirm is atrue representation of me. I confirm that during the course of mycommunication with all
members of The Church of the Assimilated Virginthat all information I have given has been truthful and factuallycorrect and that if any false information has been given in any form Ishall immediately lose all
entitlement to the donation payment due tome. Sincerely, SIGN YOU NAME (Physically sign letter) Date:WRITE THE DATE (Physically write date) _____________________________________________________ I am surethis will clarify the situation for you. I also must inform you that wewill be closing your case permanently on 7 March 2006. If you have notcompleted all the required paperwork and information, your case will beclosed and you will not be able to get the funds which you have claimedas yours. Thank you, Chief Charlie Wiggum SPDCriminal Compensation Department ....................................................... Please TitsMcghee(High Elder) what do you advise that i should do now? comply with what he wants STUPID!!!Please i amgetting tried of everything and with the way things are going now, aresome information that i don't need give out for security
reason becausei don't know who spy or not. Please advise and help me talk tochief Charlie Wiggum. I look forward to your urgent reply. Thankyou and God bless us all. Warmest Regards Dr. Mrs louisaPimentelEstrada.
So the HPE has to respond, and respond he does...
From: H.P.E. Tits Mcghee
To: Dr. Mrs. Louis Pimentel Esstrada
Sister Estroda,
I do not understand what else I can do for you.I have asked Chief Wiggum to be more lenient and he told me that he was willing to forgo the need for a phone number and a copy of your passport given your current dire situation. He is simply asking that you give him an address and a signed letter, so that he may proceed with disbursing the funds that are yours.
As to the question of whether or not you can trust Chief Wiggum, he is an altar servicer in the Church, and has been an upstanding member of the Church for more than 10 years now.If you feel you cannot trust a member of the Church, I am not sure how we would be able to help you further. I would instruct you to simply comply with the requirements of the Police Department so that you can complete this as soon as humanly possible.
I am sure that you understand, but it is very disturbing to hear that you would accuse amember of The Church of the Assimilated Virgin of duplicity or of being a spy. If you remember in Article 1 of your membership agreement, you agreed to obey the instructions of the Church Leadership. I have already instructed you to simply comply with Chief Wiggum and all would be taken care of. If you cannot do that, I am afraid I cannot help you further. I am not able to change Police Department policy, Chief Wiggum may be a member of the Church, but I cannot interfere with the way he performs his duties.
My suggestion to you would be to work as faithfully and honestly as you can with him,and I am sure that you will get satisfaction and wet as well. You have already proven to be a great and baited member of the Church and I would hate for you not to get your just desserts. I am eagerly waiting to see the outcome of this in a way that will be enlightening and good for all honest parties concerned.
May the Great Phallus protect you and keep you wet.
TitsMcghee
High Phallic Elder
I wonder, will she take it to heart?
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