Attn: Mr Attn: Tits Mcghee(High Phallic Elder)
Sir,
Thanksfor your kind help since all these while and i pray that God Almightwill bring a helper to you in the days of problems. you mean like you for example??
Please help meask him if there is anything i need to do again because i have not heardfrom him since i sent the attachment to him.
I look forward to yoururgent reply. Thank you and God bless us all. Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And now back to the story with the good Dr. and Chief Wiggum
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Below are the information
Name:Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada.
Address: #124 Tomas Morato Ave., Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines
My phone number-Not available
Date of Birth -02-07-1932.
Dear Mr. Wiggum.
Sir,
C.R.A.B.Refference Number:Ref:06098419004194.
This letter is to certify that i am the above named person and i am entitled to a donation payment, authorised by H.P.E. Tits Mcghee of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin.The total payment i am entitled to is US$10,000 Plus Us$48,400 for the payment of some piece of land where we can start the church of the Assimilated Virgin in my area.
Please find below the attached copy of my official Identification which i confirm is a true representation of me.
I confirm that during the course of my communication with all members of the Church of the Assimilated Virgin that all information i have given has been truthful and factually correct and that if any false information has been given in any form, i shall immediately lose all entitlement to donation payment due to me.
Warmest Regards
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Date:27-02-2006.
Nb: My son Jude made a mistake on my Date of Birth, which i have corrected.
Sir, i want to know if i can print it out to enable me sign my signature or is there anything i need to do.Please just let me know.
So the chief gets back to her..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
Yes you need to print out the letter, fill it out and sign it, scan it and email the letter back to me.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
Can she REALLY be that stupid??
Attn:Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Thanks for your kindly help and i pray that God Almight will surely send a helper to you in the day of problem.
Sir, find attached is the scam OOOH Sister, you have NO idea!! copy of your demands and i pray that i have passed the examination this time around and if not, please kindly let me know where i have failed so that i can quick correct it.
I look forward to hearing from you soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa PimentelEstrada.
And she did send me a copy of the paperwork, unfortunately I didn't attach it as it has been lost to an old hard drive..
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
I have recieved your mail. Your information and claim are now being processed by our auditing department. This is standard procedure in all cases of criminal compensation.
The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan will be handling your case. He is a very competent Auditor and should be able to have your compensation ready for you in a very short amount of time. His job is simply to make sure that all is in order before the criminal compensation is sent to you.
Thank you,
Chief Charlie Wiggum
SPD Criminal Compensation Department
So the chief told her that she would be getting her funds right?
Attn: Chief Charlie Wiggum
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Thanks for your mail.As you have given me help in this matter,May the Almight God send a helper to you that will help you in the days of problems.
Infact, i really thank God for your life and all the efforts you have so far made to help. You will not see shame in your life, The arrows of the evil one will never know you and your family,God will forever protect your going out and your coming in.Untimely death will never be your portion.You will never burial your children but your children will be the one to burial you at your old age in Jesus Name Amen.Once again thank you very much for all efforts you have made so far.
Finally, i shall be contacting him soonest.But please, you could tell me what i will write to him please so that i will not make any mistake.
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
I don't respond. Why should the Chief have to talk to her anymore?
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Jumping the gun a bit aren't we? You haven't even jumped through all the hoops yet honey
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194
Please i will like you to up date me when funds will be release to me so that i can give you my payment advise
Thank you and God bless us all.I look forward to hearing from you
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Ohh, now she's really getting impatient. Well, I guess it's time for Apu to make his appearance
Mrs. Estrada,
Ref: 06098419004194
We are processing your claim as quickly as possible. We do have policies and procedures in place to handle these sorts of things. As far as sending payment advice, that is not necessary as we always use either a bonded courier to deliver the funds directly to you or a designated individual, or you come to our offices and pick up the money in person. That would be why your address was necessary, we need someplace to have the funds delivered to.
If you would like to expedite the processing of your claim and get your funds released faster, you can submit the following request to our department, and it can be taken into consideration. I have attached a copy of the letter below. If you wish to do this you would need to print, and fill out the form and then send it back to me. Once this is done, generally we can release the funds to you within 24 to 48 hours.
_____________________________________________________________________
To: Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
Agent Nahasapimapetilan,
Sir, my name is____________________________. I am writing you to request a hardship expediting of my Criminal Compensation. I am in dire need of the funds which have been wrongfully kept from my honest and decent person. I am suffering from Tribble Infections/Opressive Government/Cornholeitis/ Phallic Envy. I request that the sum of $________________. Be released to me A.S.A.P. or, as soon as the Springfield Police Department (Criminal Compensation Division) feel the need to compensate me for my Criminal Action.
I ___________________________, Do swear that I have been 100% honest in all my dealings with the SPDCCD, and that I will use the funds which are righfully mine for the purpose of which they were initially intended.
I, __________________________, Understand that I am solely responsible for all costs incurred by SPDCCD in the delivery and transfer of said Compensation to me, and that I will recompense the department for all expenses incurred.
Once, the Compensation has been disbursed to me, I understand that I will no longer place myself in a baiting situation, and if I do get myself baited again, I will make sure that I perform in much the same manner as I have this time. My honesty and integrity intact, I swear on all that is my cornhole that I will do my best to be the proudly compensated moron that I am able to be.
This letter is my statement of formal intention to have my case expedited, so that I can receive what is coming to me as quickly as possible. I am sure that I deserve everything that I will receive from this transaction. My compensation will be just as well as swift. Again, I am more than deserving of everything I am going to receive in this transaction.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
SIGN YOUR NAME
WRITE DATE HERE
____________________________________________________________________
Once I receive this letter from you, I would be able to expedite your case and get you everything you have coming to you.
Thank you,
Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Head Auditor (Criminal Compensation Department)
hehehe, just another BS letter for her to sign and email back to me...
Like clockwork,she sends my back the letter dutifully signed and ready to go..
and of course she sends me another note with it.
Attn: The Head Auditor Apu Nahasapimapetilan
Sir,
FOR YOUR REFERENCE:CASE NUMBER IS 06098419004194.
Find attched is the returning form.
Please i will like my funds to be transferred into this account information below via Swift Transfer or by Telegraphic Transfer.
Bank of China New York.
Aba no:026003269.
Swift:BKCHUS33.
Cr.to.Swift code:BKCHCNBJ92D.
A/C No:875118267308091001.
A/c Name:ZHEJIANG JIANPEI TEXTILES CO.LTD.
Please let the funds be transferred into the above given account information and forward the receipt of the Payment Slip to me via e-mail attachment.
Looking forward to receiving the copy of the Payment Slip soonest.
Thank you and God bless us all.
Warmest Regards,
Dr.Mrs.Luisa Pimentel Estrada
Now we ALL KNOW I won't be sending the money to THAT account
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